I know, I like to push that North Dakota has low crime, low violence, low natural disasters, etc....however, opening lines like this one might give people pause when considering a move to the Dakotas: If you hold a flame to your faucet and the water catches fire, the North Dakota Geological Survey wants to know about it. . The water catches fire?!? Oh my fuck, what kind of place am I living? "If you walk outside and bump your head on the air or a pack of boulders devour your dog, please report it to the authorities."
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