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Conceptual art #1: a tiny, floating Central Park. Cute, abstract, obtuse in definition. However, things get hairy when another conceptual art piece swoops down and tries to augment the other. Conceptual art #2: Cristo's the Gates, of appropriate scale, chasing the floating Park down with the intent of guerilla installation. I could try and expound on the metaphoric events involved, but it's barely 5am and I have to go to work soon. Maybe delivering windows for Pella could be considered Conceptual art, and I can apply for a grant someplace. #

Ever wonder how Google picks which Adsense ads to show? The common belief is that it's related to the content on the page, and the most likely links that a visitor might click on. Simple, algorithmic, logical, right?

I, however, have new evidence, proving Google is dabbling in the Dark Arts, and has provided Adsense with a supernatural ability to read minds and see the future.

My evidence?

As far as I can tell, this blog -- at this point -- made no mention of the words 'stress', 'pain', 'work', 'panic', etc. Why would Google assign such ads to my blog? 13 Signs of Burnout. Help To Eliminate Anxiety. Panic Attacks -- Learn how to end panic attacks.

Because it's the end of the month, bills are due, sales are slow, and I am stressing out. Majorly. Both me & D. How would Google know this? I haven't written about it. I don't think I've even mentioned it to anybody outside of our immediate family. Google is evil. Of course, after saving this entry, no doubt there won't be any more panic attack or anxiety Adsense ads, despite the page being keyword rich now.

On top of that, someone is trying to make me crazy by embedding evil in radio waves. Yesterday, I was listening to the radio, and an advertisement for a local haute couture bread store came on.

I swear, god as my witness, they advertised half-priced loaves of monkey-brain whole-wheat bread.

Now, it was said quickly, and in such a way that you'd believe they actually said multi-grain -- of course not, how could you make whole wheat bread from monkey brains? -- but, somehow, you know that's exactly what they said. The world is a scary place, and technology is at the root of it. Google ads tell me I'm ont he edge of a panic attack, while my radio tries to sell me monkey-brain pastries. All is now lost.

The Amityville Toaster has to be the funniest thing I've seen since that other funny thing. The rest are pretty good, too. #

1 comment
I didn't think these actually existed in the wild:

We encountered this Segway at the corner of University drive and 8th Ave North in Fargo. The driver (female, I believe) was wisely equipped with a helmet. Unfortunately, I'm not skilled enough with my new cameraphone to quickly take photos. She crossed the street to avoid our dogwalking, so I was a bit to far to take a good photo.

As for the actual Segway itself, I was impressed with its uprightness. She stopped on the handicapped-accessible sidewalk incline without a problem, wobbling only slightly to remain upright and still at the same time. When she chose to change corners, she backed up and turned in around a 3-point turn, and made it into the street without problem. She did, however, have trouble getting around a truck stopped at the intersection, according to D. Still, despite trouble getting around in our foreign environment, I suspect once these invasive species have made it all the way to North Dakota, there's not much hope for the future.

As we walked home with two dogs and three bags of groceries in tow, D asked what the purpose of the Segway is; I commented that they're to take wear-and-tear off of walking people. "That's all we need," she said, "another reason to get fat by not exercising." The Segway in the wild may be more dangerous than at first glance.

While I'm normally against most so-called references to the "Orwellian world we live in," the Students for an Orwellian Society really does get it. Not only do they really point out how Orwellian our world is becoming, they're satirically supporting the expansion of Ingsoc...because, I suppose, opposing it would make them candidates for room 101. #

Donate books to Katrina victims! It'll do some good, without worrying about what happens to your money donation. #

If this is real, it'll change computing as we know it -- I can't find anything to discredit its existence, but too much seems 'made for TV' in its description and construction. Hopefully it's all for real, and computing will exceed current technology's limitations by tenfold. #

A free HBO weekend allowed me & D to watch Shattered Glass -- quite an interesting story, from a publisher's point of view. I'd read a lot about Glass' failures not long after it happened, and it was nice to see it put into a chronological, simplified format, even though the screenplay wasn't that great. #

Another Derek idea that someone else created faster than I: digital cameras with built-in wireless networking. My theory, imagined around 4 years ago, was actually a CompactFlash card with Wi-Fi SMB capability -- your camera takes the picture, and saves it to the card. The card acts as cache memory; after the photo is 'saved', the card then wirelessly transmits the picture to a shared folder on a networked computer. Configuration data is saved as a textfile on the card itself, therefore requiring no special software whatsoever other than text and photo editors that everyone should already have. The Nikon linked above, however, requires their special software, because that's always the easiest way to do things, right? #

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