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"Drivers license please."

I hand it to him.

" I assume you know why I stopped you"


"It's because you ran right through that stop sign back on 28th Avenue."


Later, still confused about running through a stopsign, I drove back to the intersection of 28th Ave & 32nd St. There is not a stop sign at that intersection.

You know, I'm sick of reading the newspaper, only to find sentences starting with "So...", "And..." or "But..." I got into trouble in the 4th grade for that sort of tomfoolery, why does the Fargo Forum pay people to write like that?

However, A∴ B∴ has redeemed herself; the article in the Forum today, about night-life in Downtown Fargo, was interesting, well-written, and didn't have any blatant language problems...I'll even ignore the fact that nearly every paragraph in her byline column starts with "We".

I'm no expert writer myself, and I'm not being Grammar-Nazi here, but it's far more pleasant to read something when attention paid to the flow of the sentences. A professional writer should be able to do it instinctively. when the Forum takes their fact-based articles off the Wires, choosing to write personal-interest articles using local talent, they should put effort into finding authors who can write a couple hundred words in a creative and attention-holding way.

I've never seen Blair Witch Project, I've never seen 6th Sense, nor have I seen Being John Malkovich, Gladiator, Jerry Maguire, City of Angels, U-571, The Cider House Rules, Erin Brokovitch, Magnolia, or The Perfect Storm.

Derek Is Reading:

Trouble and Her Friends by Melissa Scott

Daily Condition:

In CD player: Q Magazine Best of 1999 CD

my condition: the high temperature for today is -5 degrees Farenheit. 'nuff said.

Someone else saves all their receipts, too.

Daily Condition:

in my CD player: Soul Coughing, el oso

my condition: displeased that it seems that I put my foot in my mouth every time I spoke yesterday.

I wouldn't even have known about the existence of the new TV show Dot Comedy, except for the fact that they emailed me a release form to fill out. They want to discuss the Receipt Site on the show.

So, of course, I had to watch the premiere tonight. I even taped it, just in case they mention my site before getting the release back from me.

My GOD, it's horrible.

There's no flow to the show -- the hosts barely hold the show together, and they argue and joke about the stupidest things. I read their press release, I know that they brought in talented individuals to host the show, but, man, they're bad.

On top of that (and this is splitting hairs), it's painfully obvious they have no technical knowledge whatsoever. It doesn't take much tech brains to joke about websites, but they made stupid jokes about viewing MPEGs. Know what? Half the things they called MPEGs are really Flash animations. Check the Bacon Bits part here - they specifically say MPEG, but there's no damn MPEG there. Only Flash. At the very least, Macromedia would LOVE to pay money for that sort of advertising. The Ballet video they refer to as a MPEG is also not an MPEG - it's a MOV. Dropping strange acronyms must make the Sklar Brothers feel smart or something.

The few actual MPEG-ish videos that they did show aren't linked on their website. And, IMHO, they seemed contrived and deliberately filmed for the benefit of the viewer. The camera angle of the police video was all wrong, and the pizza delivery guy was standing in an unnatural position in order to be seen better by the camera. Did the Dot Comedy guys film them just to waste time on the show?

Next, and the ignorance here almost makes me ill, was the big deal they made over The female host put on an unconvincing and forced attempt at acting turned on by Curry, but not once did they mention the fact that Curry (and his counterpart Super Greg) are marketing madness designed by Lee Jeans. THEY DON'T EXIST. Either Dot Comedy thought it funny to pretend this guy really existed, or their factfinders just don't know what they're doing, but f*ck, it was really bad. BAD. Bad. And not funny.

Less significant is this: Most of the sites they talked about are commercial sites. They aren't spontaneously funny - they're designed to make us laugh in the interest of making money. There's plenty of non-commercial humor out there.

I will, however, compliment the field reporter - her visit with the air-sickness bag guy was actually quite good. It had pacing, it had humour, she made it funny without being mean to the guy. I'd be happy if she came to interview me; I'd take her shopping!

However, if those fact-finders who missed the Lee Jeans ad thing get their act in gear, I doubt I'm gonna be on their stupid show. First, I didn't sign their ill-conceived release, and, second, if they take the time to research me, they'll find this poor review. Eh, that's okay, I guess.

Daily Condition:

In CD Player: Keepers Plus, from MPR

My condition: *cough* sore throat

Despite the financial stranglehold that keeps the WWW in power, Gopher still has it's proponents. Gopher was ALWAYS the way to go when looking for data. Information was hyperlinked, in the traditional sense, within an easy-to-use and intuitive environment. Today, you're considered an internet expert if you create an interface that nobody's ever seen before, which exists only on your website, whether you have any worthwile content or not. Form overpowers function on the WWW, but content reigns supreme in Gopherspace.

A guitar is always an essential accessory to a server.

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