The bright side is: we are coming out of this.

The dark side is: by admitting I think that all is well, I have caused Fate to send something to broadside us, pushing us back into the hole.

However, the problems of summer have brought significant changes versus our family's status in March. Allie, my wife's daughter, has moved into a group home to help her deal with Asperger's in conjuntion with her impending freedom at age 18. Destiny's counselling sessions have cause enormous improvement -- while the problems that started her in counseling (difficulty in getting homework done) seem tiny when compared to this summer's dealings, we're lucky she had a counselor in place and she's made an enourmous turnaround. I started seeing a counselor to deal with the stress; while I don't think it's fixed anything, I've gotten some new perspectives on myself. D, is as always, D, stoic and reserved, but she's beginning to realize she needs some help with stress as well, along with the loss of Allie's influence on her life.

We joke that the mental health offices we spend so much time in are having a groundbreaking for the Dahlsad Mental Health Facility any day now. During certain parts of this summer, we, quite literally, spent an hour or two every single day in that building, waiting for one appointment or another.

However, outlook is positive now. Des is doing well, Allie's new home is well-suited for her, D is relaxing into her new freedom, and I'm doing OK.

I've even gotten some extra work, too, in a much more traditional sense. Allie's group home is quite expensive; the house we're living in was rented with the expectation that we'd have us and three children living with us. So, I've re-entered the workplace.

Stress tends to make me feel like a failure; things that are my responsibility go badly, things out of my control affect the things in my control, and nothing seems to be going right. D's freelance work brings in quite a bit of money; me, not so much. Tell someone who thinks he's a failure to go get a job, and in a couple hours ask how he's doing.

All the good jobs require skills I don't have; retail jobs expect work schedules with disregard for other obligations; the pay has to be worth my time; I was fired from my last job, so who'll want to hire me now? All I saw were obstacles.

One morning, while browsing the Job Service website, I find two listings that appeal to me: CopyMax and a document scanning company, ISC. Both use skills I have, both are somewhat related to our home business, and both are part-time jobs. I sent off two resumes, and kept looking to find something else.

ISC called me back that afternoon, and hired me three days later.

I initially blew off Officemax; they did leave a message, offering an interview. I had already been hired by ISC, and felt my plate was full. First, one of the references I gave to Officemax delivered a glowing review of my abilities, and so I felt obligated to live up to their opinion. Then, of course, like I said above -- after getting the job with ISC, I felt everything was going great...requiring Fate to throw a curve-ball, and 3/4 of D's freelance income disappeared. Suddenly, getting a job at Officemax seemed much more urgent. Two interviews over two weeks later, I was offered the job.

For someone who felt rather worthless, getting two job offers for the only two jobs that were applied for, well, that felt good. Doing well at both jobs feels even better. Working 8-10 hours a day, fitting in freelance stuff wherever I can, feels exhausing. However, the money situation is resolved, we've got extra resources to help with the obstacles, so life is looking up.

Not that I say that too loud, else something bad happen. It always does.

Until then, I'll at least let myself feel a little pleasure at recieving paychecks, getting compliments from those who I work for, being recognized for my cool glasses, and otherwise feeling like I'm accomplishing something and holding back the incorporeal horrors that threaten our family. Now, when do I spend time for myself? I'm trying to fit that in, but there's only so many hours in the day. It's a balancing act, and if it keeps Fate from screwing with things for a while, I guess that's OK.