Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by spoonie )

OMG!! first poster dance for me!!

(Submitted by Huh? )

SECOND PLACE!!! << dancing wildly >>

(Submitted by Huh? )

Awwwww, geezzzzz! What a softie, another counter card! When you care enough to send the very best, go to WalMart. Who's the lucky gal, Derek?

(Submitted by Matt Krieg's #2 Fan )

MATT KRIEG IS #1 IN COUNTER CARDS! MATT KRIEG IS #1 IN CUSTOMER SATISFACTION AND PUTS ALL OTHER WALMART MANAGERS TO SHAME! MATT IS THE BEST AND WE CAN ONLY DREAM OF BEING AS GREAT AS MATT!!!!

(Submitted by Jack Daniels )

Looks like I'm a "fifth".

(Submitted by sillyamy )

What can be said.......Counter Card hes being thoughtful and trash bags well Derek are you Trashy?? The only comment I do wanna make going to Wal- Mart 2 days in a row, becarful you dont make a habit of this.

(Submitted by susie )

Yeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss!! A nice big new Heftykitchen, the old one was TOTALLY worn out, I shall just need to adjust it here and there *charging up the jigblade with booster cable*

(Submitted by joe )

:)

(Submitted by Dally )

Oh Derek, what a good citizen you are to boost up the American economy with not one, but TWO Wal*Mart trips in two days. And, as we can all clearly witness the Dow Jones closed up 368 points in response to D's assertive and patriotic shopping spree. What a exemplar is our Derek. Yes, consumer confidence is soaring now! I feel great! YAY DEREK! P.S. Hey, susie. May I stand by you? Like, together, could we stand?

(Submitted by bin there, burned that. )

I wonder if that is one of those COUNTER TERRORIST CARDS.

(Submitted by Weed )

I am SO stoned...y'know, if you stare at the bar code, and squinch your eyes just right, it clears right up. Kewl.

(Submitted by EVO95 )

I can't believe I just did that.

(Submitted by HPOA )

Plup!

(Submitted by Cakes )

I've gone crossed eyed now...

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

must be like one of those 3D pictures, never could see those. now i feel left out and my eyes hurt. thank you Derek for doing your part to bring the Dow back up, i am grateful that it is you going to wal-mart everyday and not me =)

(Submitted by Hans Schmidt III )

Glücklicher Geburtstag Germaniac, Sie heißem kleinem Stück Esel.

(Submitted by Rochester )

Were you guys stoned when you looked at it? It won't work otherwise. And even then it only worked twice for me. Maybe if i smoke some more...

(Submitted by Weed )

Don't smoke dope if you're already high. You don't get any higher, just lower on dope.

(Submitted by CRAYON FREAK )

EAT CRAYONS WHEN YOU SMOKE DOPE YOU'LL SEE SOME AWESOME STUFF.

(Submitted by Chiq )

Ummm, Crayon Freak, may I introduce you to the term "toxic poisoning"? I believe the W*M pharmacy aisle might have something to help you out with that.

(Submitted by Rochester )

ummm... ok, shannen, you may be high, but that doesn't mean you're high ENOUGH. When in doubt, smoke some more. Contrary to what some people think there are indeed tiers of messed-upness. For me at least. The top and best being the one where you can hardly see the crayons to eat them, even the brightly colored ones.

(Submitted by Rochester )

My weed-buddies call it, well, weed. Not dope. Or pot. We have a million made up names, but we all agree we don't like the words "dope" and "pot", pot, by the way, being what your parents smoked.

(Submitted by Manny )

Dang-it, what's wrong with all those idiots, when they know the stock prices are gonna go down they sell their stocks. Why can't they take one for the economy and just keep the stocks? I mean, it's only a few thousand dollars, right?

(Submitted by susie )

crayons ,eh. The wax ones fit nicely into the ears I find.

(Submitted by astupidloser )

are the trash bags white or black? are you white trash derek? ....ooohh i like the kinds that have the little drawstrings on them. so convenient.

(Submitted by Rod )

I would have never of believed it if I didn't see it.

(Submitted by Butane- not just for blowing yourself up anymore )

Gee, Rochester, I sure hope you'll tell us ALL of those million names you and your weed-buddies have for weed. I'm sure we would all be fascinated to hear them. Hang on, just let me get the nossle on this can of butane lighter up my nostril and I'll be ready to hear every single one of them.

(Submitted by Dig the name )

Rod, dude, it's true.

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

i am starting to think i am the only one that is not stoned or high, or drunk, or under the influence of anything heavier then an ib profen. but that is okay because i think its a good thing. im convinced i wouldnt be able to decode the barcode even if i were on any drugs, i just am not that talented.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

I SEE U SPENT THE $5.37 WISELY ON A HEFT KITCHEN. I WANT A BIG KITCHEN. I LOVE TO COOK!

(Submitted by rochester )

Actually, I wasn't planning on telling you any of them... not a single one... so your sarcasm... sorely inappropiate... and lame on top of it... my comments were directed at the guy named weed... not you... thanks for the concern though!

(Submitted by Cakes )

Timmy! alert....Timmy! alert....aaahhh......

(Submitted by Dally )

*rolling on the floor with laughter!!*

(Submitted by Christopher Columbus Redux )

Nah, Gaze, I'm not really on anything. I simply like to rib boys just discovering 'pot'...sorry, 'weed'.

(Submitted by Dal )

Looks like the Clue Train has pulled out of the Timmy Station. Toot toot!

(Submitted by Cakes )

*peering out of toaster box* is it safe to come out yet?

(Submitted by Chiq )

*climbing in the toaster box with Cakes* I think we better just hide out in here a while until we're sure the Timmy! alert has completely passed. *fanning myself with a COUNTER CARD*

(Submitted by Trouble Magnet )

Quick, Cakes, hide me before I get myself into yet another mess *hopping in the toaster box*

(Submitted by Dally Girl )

oohhh...nice furry creature you got there Chiqca. May I pet him?

(Submitted by Siren Call )

Hey guys - chicks in the toaster box........!!!

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Sure, Dal, he really likes to be petted. Just be gentle. And Siren Call, I'll have you know this is not "that" kind of toaster box (not that there's anything WRONG with that).

(Submitted by GrooveKitty )

da da da duh duh, da da da duh duh, da da da duh duh, da dit dit dit dit dit dit dit...repeat as necessary.

(Submitted by Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! )

Here's the story, of a man named Brady...

(Submitted by Pookie )

Know what? If you keep on squinting, and scroll down through the posts, it looks like Cakes is "peeing" out of the toaster box. Ew!

(Submitted by Jan Brady )

That's just gross.

(Submitted by Booby Brady )

Hey! Don't knock it 'til you've seen it. It was a hole new experience for me.

(Submitted by lieu (with kitchen envy) )

my, that's one hefty effing kitchen you got there bubba.

(Submitted by Alice doesn't live here anymore )

You Bradys and your fluid discharges. That's it, I've had it.

(Submitted by Sam the buttcher )

Boy, does my penis burn when I urinate.

(Submitted by Azrael Brown )

Hmmmm.....if Abi & Chiq are both small enough to fit in a toaster box together, then they must be pocket-sized women! I like that idea - where can _I_ get a couple of those?

(Submitted by timmy was here )

Gee, i haven't posted here for like months... I have evidence connecting lieu to laden, so i decided to drop by. They both belong to the same queer club.

(Submitted by Am i a parasite or a disease? )

All these damn anti-muslim and anti-arab people you see all around, it's sort of pathetic... Expand your minds peoples. Out of thimbles. Lol, annoying and dumb (purposely) i may be, but gay i'm not!

(Submitted by Yawn )

*holding hands over ears* lalalalalalalalaaaaaa.....

(Submitted by Jethro )

Peoples? I thought the plural of people was poople. Oh well, that's what I get for not goin' to skool and gettin' me an edumacation.

(Submitted by Abi )

Thimble Head!? Chiq - I think we've just been insulted.....Bring out the Aim 'n' Flame....!!

(Submitted by Ernest Lee Sincere )

A polar bear walks into a bar and says "I'd like a Fuzzy......................... .............................. .......Navel" The bartender says "Fine. But what's with the big pause?" The polar bear replies, "I don't know. My Daddy had 'em too."

(Submitted by penis )

why yes, i am bigger than timmy.

(Submitted by Wilma Fingerdoo )

Y'see timmy, the polar bear thought he said "paws"...

(Submitted by peoples )

peoples!

(Submitted by timmy? )

hmmmm, yes, yes it would be like me. Okay, here goes. I don't like the word penis. And cock is for gays and women. And dick sounds dumb. So that doesn't leave you with much, but i work around that by staying off the topic, seeing as a guy i never need to even mention it. Gays can talk about their's as much as they want, though, so continue if you will

(Submitted by Thimble Head )

Gawd, you're up early timmy, what's up, did you wet the bed?

(Submitted by Yossarian )

He probably did...while squatting over it.

(Submitted by oooooh, they dissed me )

lol, oh you're too much... i amend that, would get lost in a thimble. Damn eight o'clock classes is what it is. And don't even bother mentioning it, yes, i KNOW you don't care.

(Submitted by shut up idiot )

oh i get it, he thought he said paws! HAHAHAHA. HAHA.

(Submitted by And i shall call him... timmy )

no, really, am i missing something about that joke? Was there some part of it that was supposed to be funny on more than a 3rd grade level?

(Submitted by Oh boy )

you still here? - haven't you got a class to go to....

(Submitted by timmy )

Please mom, just five more minutes?

(Submitted by Chiquita )

E. L. Sincere, I thought that joke was dayumm funny. PAWS/PAUSE! I get it!!! See y'all in a bit... I'm taking my thimble head into the toaster box to tell Cakes that joke.

(Submitted by Mrs. Crunt )

BTW timmy, in case you have a spelling test today, they mis- spelled the word KITCHN on the receipt. Your welcome.

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

i am seeing a lot of the word "gays". i dont know but it sounds like a disease to me, and if anyone comes back with it being a disease i will label them narrow- minded, and not in a thimble sort of way. *waving at the people in the toaster box* got any food in there????

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

sorry gotta comment on the KITCHN bags. this is the second time i have seen the people at matt kriegs wal- mart having a spelling problem. i wonder if they sell hooked on phonics??

(Submitted by Cakes )

Greetings dragongaze from one of the Thimble Heads, I'm sure the other one has a nanner or two for you...

(Submitted by Edith )

Shouldn't it be spelled "foniks?"

(Submitted by Horny Guy )

How 'bout a threesome girls...I'd love to have some Cakes, and Edith too.

(Submitted by Cakes )

*blowing a raspberry* at Horny Guy!!

(Submitted by Chiqca )

D-gaze, climb on in. Here, have what I call the "toaster box special"... it's a nanner betwixt two BUTTERFINGERs. Just 'member to lick your fingers afterwards.

(Submitted by Jack Warner )

*whistling* Nice toaster box, girls!

(Submitted by Horny Guy )

I am hereby changing the name of my penis to "raspberry"

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

*hopping in the box* and yes i do believe it is foniks.

(Submitted by Dally )

I just have a quick question for ya'll. Was Timmy still around while I was on "sabbatical" or do I some how bring him out? Because I am beginning to get really paranoid...I live in NYC..tragedy strikes, dead everywhere...I'm from Alabama (Brookwood, Ala- my old stomping grounds)where this past week 13 miners died in a coal mine collapse. Now, out of nowhere Timmy appears - I am not having a very good month. At ALL.

(Submitted by Dal )

WAIT! I DIDNT MEAN TO IMPLY THAT having Timmy back was in anyway comparable to these terrible tragedies. Not by any means. Timmy, I'm sorry, I was just ribbing you. Wow, I feel like a total idiot.

(Submitted by lieu )

what are you trying to do, put your self in his shoes?

(Submitted by Dalliance )

hey lieuy *big wet sloppy kiss*

(Submitted by Dally excite to see her pal )

*slurp*

(Submitted by I hate when that happens )

oops, left my "d" out -"excited"

(Submitted by skot )

I can't believe how many people actually come to this site on a regular basis. It's awesome! I love it!

(Submitted by susie/susannah )

I thought it was me that came from Alabama, is it anywhere near Wisconsin? *staring hard into the White Globe*

(Submitted by Welcome dal, liven the place up, dang )

Good catch there, dal, when you left, the fun left, so i left. i have a secret crush on dal. major crush. When she enters the site, the sun.... well, you get what i'm saying. All i ever wanted was for dal to love me back! She could visit me during my recess and we could be best buds. forever. but no. never.

(Submitted by susie/susannah )

Hello Major crush

(Submitted by susinwisconsin )

This is ground control to Major Crush what DOES gravity smell of?

(Submitted by Dalabama )

Wisconsin...Wis-con-sin..yep, I know right whar that is..less see, well, now, ya go right up there and take that there first dog-leg and go bout *spit* purt near a mile then ya turn rite at Bobby Dean's trailer..then I reckon ya just keep a goin' north...you gonns run smack into it...Cain't hep but see it...like a snake to bite ya...Wisconsin..yep, I durn near went there once'd, but then I didn't cuz then we got that thar govurment cheese...it's good eatin' alrighty.

(Submitted by Dal )

HUH? WHA? HUH?

(Submitted by Nah, it's fine, dallydoodle, i don't mind the comparison at all, i've seen worse on this site. )

Fine, dal, I won't call you up and speak french to you. Have it your way. We'll see who wins in the end. All i have to do is be dumb and make inane comments for a couple more days and then you will have no choice but to give in to my charm. I am sure of it.

(Submitted by Dallydoodle??? )

You say you know me in real life, but I don't know it?? Merde! So what? you're like a stalker? Cool! I've got, like, a real live stalker! Woohoo!!! *doing the real live stalker dance* Hey, ya'll..I gotta francophone stalker! How cool is that?

(Submitted by That Ms. Doodle to you, Pal )

Listen Timmy, I'm a little concerned about the logistics of this stalking thing cause you Rudy just put into effect that law where if you drive into Manhattan you've got to have AT least 2 people in the car. That means either you've got to drum up a pal that wants to stalk me also so you two can carpool in together OR you could take the PATH train but since the main artery to that is now blowing in the wind, as Bob would say, we only have one line running. Now, make *sure* you DON'T take the train that goes to Hoboken cause that's the wrong one...hang on, let me think this out a little *consulting my handy "Well, Aren't We Just F*cked Now Subway Map" and scratching my head*

(Submitted by Please say you like it, i made the name up just for you. )

Hmmpphh. Don't need to tell me about that damn train... Anyway. It's not like i stalk you. I wouldn't stoop to that! I've never even been inside your house. And to dissapoint you even more...Ok, I don't "know" you, per se, i guess you would say i'm acquainted with you. But a consider it as "know", just to soften the blow to my ego that you don't pay attention to me. So what that you're richer than i am, I'm a human too!

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

im thinking that the directions to wisconsin are a lot easier then the directions to my neighbors house here. "okay you go about a hundred yards to the east, then you turn right a big rock, then drive until you see the red sock on the fence post, that is bob's can you bring that back? thanks, then you take a left at bigger rock and you drive for another oh, well i would say about four hours, and then turn to the east at the old tire hanging from the bush, and then about another hour youll see a red house, thats not ours keep going, then another thirty minutes youll see a blue house, still not ours turn left at the herd of sheep, then you drive until you come off of the mesa, and its the purple house second star to the right, straight on until morning."

(Submitted by Cakes )

oh gaze, that's almost poetic...how nice.

(Submitted by susie/susannah )

We're on our way, thanks for the invite Gaze * packing cheese nips and Mt Dew ° Bring the nanners Chicq?

(Submitted by Abi )

yay! Road trip!! I've got the SLINKY and a couple of HUMAN SKULLS.......

(Submitted by susie/susannah )

*bubble wrapping the White Globes for safety* hi Abi, is USA up and dressed yet or shall we go on ahead?

(Submitted by susie/susannah )

Who's driving?

(Submitted by Dalliance Dreaming )

I'm in!! susie, Abi, wait for me and Chiqs pleasssseee. Gaze, I agree with Cakes - "second star to the right, straight on until morning". What a gorgeous description. That's where I wanna be.

(Submitted by Dally )

Timmy person, listen up, I know you are f*cking with me. Please don't. This is REALLY not a good time for you to be saying these kinds of things, even jokingly. Not in this city anyway. There is NO way you are aquainted with me in real life, because you would know that the description of me as "rich" is utterly ridiculous. I'm a starving artist with student loans out the yin/yang. If I actually had a paycheck, I would be living paycheck to paycheck. I do most of my clothes shopping at flea markets. So, don't try to mess with my head, and please do not email me again.

(Submitted by Abi )

I'll drive susie, I'll dust down the vw camper van, load the girls in the back, and let's head off........don't forget the beers.......

(Submitted by Chiqca jumping in the VW )

Ok girls, I'm here... let's get this dog & pony show on the road! D-gaze, get the good silverware polished up, 'cuz we're on our way!

(Submitted by dumb, but persistant )

See what i mean guys? Rebuffed at every turn... Lol, it isn't hard to be richer than me, I'm in pretty bad shape myself, but if it soothes your feelings, I'm sorry... Please forgive me. Anyway, I would name a couple of your friends, but you'd problaby call the cops on me. Or kill me. Which would leave me just barely short of having your love. C'mon Dal, I'd take you to the mcdonalds on tenth.

(Submitted by I've finally been granted person status )

hmmm, i meant to type "affection", not love.

(Submitted by lieu tennant )

john wayne gacy, henry lee lucas, donald leroy evans... what's your middle name, timmy?

(Submitted by I'm hiding in the well )

most people call me "well", but my middle name is william, but, ohnono, i won't give my last name, haha.

(Submitted by Click )

Girls, make sure you check the water in the radiator before you head on out...it's a long trip y'know.

(Submitted by Cakes )

it's an air cooled engine......

(Submitted by Chiq )

Mebbe we should tow the old Volare behind us just in case the VW goes kaput. Der, you still got that lil beaut around somewhere?

(Submitted by Clack )

You mean a blow job?

(Submitted by lieu )

wouldn't you feel more comfortable in a hummer?

(Submitted by Cluck )

Just DON'T LOOK UP!!!

(Submitted by Cakes )

of course I knew, I've driven that baby around for years....I'm not THAT daft!

(Submitted by spoonie )

aw come'on Dal...McD's!!! A man in love there...he's rolling out the big bucks just for you...

(Submitted by Ronald McDonald )

McD's = McDerek's

(Submitted by Stu Pedasso )

But Burger King is the Home of the Whopper.

(Submitted by Beerfuck )

I met this girl the other day, she told me she named herself Carmen after the two things she loved most. I thought to myself, what a good idea...

(Submitted by big bucks indeed )

Lol, if i was made of money i'd take her to la villa, but that would be more of a dream than dal going out with me. I saw this comedian and he was whining about why the hell did his chevette have a tow thing on the back. He was like, what the hell would i want to tow, another chevette for when this one broke down?

(Submitted by he said pause! )

get it, paws! hahahaha

(Submitted by Tiger Woods )

*finds his golf ball....checks the wind speed....decides to use his D- 12 BATT to play through*

(Submitted by susie/susannah )

ooh look tiger woods has landed his golf ball in our car..... *putting it safely with the other White Globes* Turn right at the next rock girls.

(Submitted by Tennis Pro )

But really, doesn't a polar bear have a fuzzy navel anyway?

(Submitted by I steal cable )

VICCI/SOPHIE WILL YOU MARRY ME

(Submitted by Deriks Creditcard holder )

Derik you are late on payment again. maybe if you did not spend so much money on this sight you could pay cash insted of charging and oweing thousands of dollers in debt to us.

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

im sitting here waiting with masturbat.....i mean bated breath for you all to show up, i mean the directions were simple enough what is taking so long??? did you get that red sock?? i need that...i have a mis-matched pair.

(Submitted by Dave )

Nice Derek. No change. Smart man. Too bad you're so strange and delusional that you feel compelled in the most anal retentive way to post every freaking receipt on a website. But hey? Who am I to say that? I'm the one who has actually come here - *twice* - to read it. So the big question is: Who lacks a life more? The guy who posts his receipts or the guy who reads them? Let's all ponder this deep philosophical question over a cup of teeth-staining tea. <quietly sips a cup> Mmm, mmm, good.

(Submitted by timmy! )

i am still celebrating the awesome uniqueness and inherent coolness of this site. I don't have time to waste regretting how i spend my time. My life is much too busy for that.

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

would the fact that i come here more then twice a day make me more so lifeless? i mean im looking at this site and thinking where else can one go to just kick it. if you have ever noticed the posting about the receipts stops after awhile and then we just start talking. i happen to think that this site is one of a kind, and if i were to ponder about how o waste my time, well then i would have no time left to waste. as long as one believes what they do with that time has some meaning, then more the power to them. i believe that these people here havea profound impact on each others life, here there are no faces, here there are no names, here there are no expectations. if only the rest of life could be this simple and this content.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

D-gaze, we're on our way, but got a little lost at the old tire hanging from the bush. Were we s'posed to turn right or left? *scratching head* I think we're somewhere in the middle of Columbia 'cause I keep seeing coffee beans everywhere.

(Submitted by Mount Pilot Girl )

HI DAWL!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by Boogah Eatah )

I lahk to eat mah boogahs. They taste nahce. They ah so smooth yet so crunchy. I eat mah boogahs all day.

(Submitted by Yo Daddy )

D-gaze. Go smoke another joint, and shut the fuck up...you're boring.

(Submitted by The Wizard )

D-gaze, pay no attention to that child behind the "Yo Daddy" curtain. Stay right where you are & keep playing wif us.

(Submitted by dragonzgaze )

hey yo daddy, why dont you have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up...always has to be an asshole in every group i just dont understand why people think if they put others down they must be better than them. tiny minded little underaged pimple on my ass

(Submitted by Big Dick )

you must be a losetr to have to use a visa for a $7.00 purchae

(Submitted by MOGGEE )

The receipts from Matt's store have nice, sharp corners. The Walmart here has receipts that have ripped right corners. Keep up the good work, Matt.

(Submitted by Gern Blandston )

I thought I was down with everything on this site.. but I must have skipped over something... Okay, what's with the nanners and the cardboard box reference?? Just wondering... A man of constant sorrow, Gern. PS. Dalliance... funny post on this one. Good work. leave the inside jokes in the house next time, 'k?