Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by LizzyLou )

WOOOHOOOO!! 'busts a move' I got the first post!! WOW

(Submitted by Succedanum )

greetings, fellow receipt grubbing zoophytes! i have snagged the first post, i shall now do the prized, "first poster dance!" dance and rejoice with me!

(Submitted by Succedanum )

dangit, she beat me.

(Submitted by LizzyLou )

GOING ON A DATE DEREK? I AM SURE SHE WILL APPRECIATE ALL YOU HAVE DONE TO MAKE YOURSELF PRESENTABLE. PERHAPS SOME CHOCOLATES AND FLOWERS TO GO ALONG WITH THE CARDS WOULD BE A NICE TOUCH.

(Submitted by LizzyLou )

Succedanum, I am sure it was a very close second. Congrats on your post though!!

(Submitted by Dally )

Oh Derek! Sweetheart! 3 COUNTER CARDS for my birthday? And ANTI ITCH??? Oh, this is just TOO good to be true. Somebody pinch me!

(Submitted by Chiqca at work late )

Der, baby, make sure you don't get that MOUTHWASH and BODY WASH mixed up. *p-tooey! *

(Submitted by Mikey from the corner )

Derek, have you seen how many aisles they have at walmart? What a waste. Looks like you went to one aisle and then made up for it by splurging at the counter! You're just lazy. You can only disprove me by shopping multiple aisles next time.

(Submitted by Jessie )

oooh, anti-itch fungal cream, I am soo jealous.

(Submitted by Freud )

Oh phooey! Missed the party. I would say something witty like screw mushu and the compubank he rode in on but I'm all busted up.

(Submitted by Dally from the center (hiya Mikey) )

Chiqca!! Chiqca!! Look. look, I got ANTI ITCH fungal cream for my birthday!! Remember last year when he got me the SUNCARE? I really didn't think he could top that but...well...Chics, do you think he's sincere? Please write back soon. Love, Dally. P.S. Yo, FREUD! dudeeeee, long time no see. How's your cigar these days?

(Submitted by Dal )

Oh, Jessie, if only that ANTI-ITCH were really for me! But, alas, I know deep in my itchiest of itchy places, that I am rather delusional and, in truth, Derek is not washing or shaving his manly body for me. *winching with reality* Most all of us here realize this, but if you don't mind horribly - could you play along with me? Thanks ever so.

(Submitted by Berry Interesting )

hmmm. vvvvvveeeerrrry interesting. perhaps Derek is going to wash his body and then lather it up with colgate shave cream and go au natural?? oh just imagine the possibilities......

(Submitted by Berry...again )

oh yes and don't forget that Derek practices good oral......hygiene?

(Submitted by Tim Tam )

itch my scratch and scratch my itch, honeybuns

(Submitted by Jesse )

Why do you dally in the center? Anti-itch fungal cream has the dreamiest smell... I keep some by my bed and I smell it when I get up in the morning. Maybe that's the kind he got for you? You are too lucky!

(Submitted by Scrotum )

Once I thought I was first, but I gloated for so long and just danced and danced and then hit okay, and I was like 8th. Hmph. Thou sucketh.

(Submitted by BalmainAdolescent )

Dally, I hope you were the $2.49 counter card, not the $1.99? A gal in every WalMart, a mouthwash at every pit-stop ...

(Submitted by Fanny Artichoke )

Chicqa, anti itch is because he actually does confuse the mouthwash for body wash sometimes...he's being prepared. Now Dally, can you explain this "winching"? Is this something those adolescents with baseball caps on backwards and pants that hang round their ankles do when they have to go to the principal's office?

(Submitted by Winch )

Oh, Jesse, do you think? *giggling* Oh, Balmain, do you think? *frowning* Fanny, winching is just a little think I do when reality comes a knockin' (sometimes I spell it with an 'e' instead of an 'i')

(Submitted by Kelly )

ANTI ITCH... Derek, do you ever get that..."not so fresh" feeling?

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Actually, Dal, I have it on good authority (Matt K. & I are tight) that the COLGATE SHV is your b-day present. But, sssshhhhhhhh, don't tell Derek I let the cat out of the bag. M'kay? I'd totally forgotten about last year's SUNCARE. Do you still have it?

(Submitted by the germaniac )

Derek, perhaps if you just used the body wsh more frequently, the anti-itch would be unnecessary? Them ticks and chiggers do dig in, don't they boy?

(Submitted by Coach )

D-man, just a suggestion, but if the ANTI-ITCH doesn't work after a day or so, you might wanna look into some Kwell.

(Submitted by the germaniac )

:: blindly reserving copy of gameboy advanced like Matt Krieg ordered ::

(Submitted by lieu )

use all that stuff and you'll be sterilized analogous to the wildfire level 3 from the andromeda strain. got key?

(Submitted by Mike Ockiner )

I scratched my ANTI's-ITCH one time...my finger smelled like, well, it wudn't chicken, that's fer sher...

(Submitted by joan collins )

anti bitch? oooh, i'm melting, i'm melting!

(Submitted by the germaniac )

anti kitch? OH MY GOD? Where are my Burger King Glasses?

(Submitted by Dad )

Really son, one card woulda been fine...or do I need to go slap your Mother?

(Submitted by The Chain Gang )

anti ditch!

(Submitted by Society For the Preservation of Gender Assignment At Birth )

anti switch!

(Submitted by susie )

Dear Scrotum, count not upon the order of one's posting, but the vigour of one's dancing. OOOOOooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm

(Submitted by Barry McCockiner )

sus, anybody ever tell you that you give great OOOOOoooooommmmmmm?

(Submitted by hi )

WHAT IS A COUNTER CARD?!?!?!?!?!

(Submitted by Lou "Concrete Footwear" Jones )

That's Anti-Snitch.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

YUCK YOU GOT COOTIES!

(Submitted by i want a pitcher not a belly itcher...uh, strike that..i'd rather have a belly itcher and a tim tam )

leotard - now, there's an interesting word.

(Submitted by Interesting Tid Bit )

Speaking of words, yesterday, I was reading the dictionary and I learned that another name for a skunk is "wood pussy". It's true.

(Submitted by Mikey from yonder corner )

Derek really needs to put "Counter Cards are special occasion cards that are sold at the counter" at the top of every receipt page. Or I'm sure that he could write a program where a window pops up and you can't access the site until you click "OK" that yes you do know what a counter card is. I think that's the 43rd (42nd?) time someone has asked what they were.

(Submitted by Madison )

Be nice Mikey...haven't you ever gone through those neighborhoods where they have those signs that say "Slow Children Playing"...sometimes it takes a while to catch on.

(Submitted by Dad )

...and speaking of slapping your Mother, Tick Boy gave me a good'n...how many men does it take to open a beer...NONE! It should already be open when she brings it!

(Submitted by Jeremy )

I usually just grab a bowl of cereal for breakfast, but this morning i had pancakes! My lunchpail is blue! And it's got Pokemon on it! All my friends at school are jealous!

(Submitted by Jeremy )

It's not always Walmart, so I assume that it's not always low prices. Good phrasing there...

(Submitted by Todd )

This web site rocks! And for the record. I have purchased the walmart condomns. And its clear they work!

(Submitted by the germaniac )

For the record, I've bought Walmart window panes, and it's clear, they work!

(Submitted by Chiquita )

I bought Wal*Mart brand saran wrap & it's clear, it works!

(Submitted by lieu )

i do like blow jobs but sometimes i must ask myself "skunk do"?

(Submitted by the germaniac )

I, too, like blow jobs, but sometimes i just towel dry.

(Submitted by Wow )

I never asked what a counter card was, but I didn't research past receipts to find out either and I was curious. I can't believe Derek buys that many greeting cards... that's weird for a guy, don't you think?

(Submitted by lieu )

i need to towel dry after a good german helmet buff.

(Submitted by the germaniac )

I'm a big german helmet buff! I try to collect as many as I can.

(Submitted by speu )

you're willing to collect? awesome! do you have a special technique?

(Submitted by Wal*Fixture )

So, Tid Bit, you mean that secret aircraft development plant out in California is really the Woodpussy Works?

(Submitted by the germaniac )

Mutter alvays told me not to leef a mess.

(Submitted by Dal*Fixture )

wooohooo!! germaniac is right on your ass lieu!! Too funny. I've got this great visual going of germy's living room and her mounted german helmet collection! DAS BOOTY

(Submitted by the poliac )

Now THERE'S a family reunion picnic I'd LOVE to crash...

(Submitted by the germaniac )

mmmm...mounted german helmets. I like to give them a good spit shine.

(Submitted by Dal - it's a wrap )

by the way, Chics I must say you look smashing. Those VS sling-backs are just perfect with the Saran-Wrap. Hoochie Mama!

(Submitted by lieutennant leck wal*lessa )

soo... vat iz de airspcheed velocitee of za german schwallow? is dere schwallow fashter zan ze europeen schwallow? izit more guttural?

(Submitted by helmut cole slaw )

za problemz iz dat vonce you mount za german helmet, zen you canz no longers see zit.

(Submitted by buffy ze helmet layer )

howz you tink my sister heidi get her pigz tailz to schtick strait outz like zat?

(Submitted by susie )

Achtung, achtung! Ve haf a spillage of anti-itch powder in ze toaster boxx....

(Submitted by lieu )

Speaking of words, yesterday, I was reading the dictionary and I learned that another name for an erection is "pussywood". It's true.

(Submitted by ... )

mmm..... anti-itch......

(Submitted by ... )

it not up to me that what we are in life a slave to society in the end what we are doesn't mean shit, out of the billions only a handful of ppl make a differnce in the world and the rest are just slaves

(Submitted by ... )

i can't to many ppl don't see the truth behind their pitaflu lives they are to occuiped in their daily activities ot realize their futures is nothing more then slavery that they don't

(Submitted by I_luv_zellers )

Are these a gift for a special someone? aw how sweet! The mouthwash just spells out "stinky breath", the body wash says "you stink in general man...take a bath", colgate always means "please use this, I don't want to see gross yellow teeth when you speak", the cards mean" I know you I'm your only friend so here, let me give you 3 cards instead of one so it seems like you have more friends", and the anti- itch....well.."just use it....please"

(Submitted by Jen )

Hi guys! Love the page, very original, lol. Please check out my site and sign the guestbook: www.envy.nu/chiku/welcome.html

(Submitted by None )

You are gonna pay out the ass when that lawsuit goes through

(Submitted by Dave )

I noticed you're into being clean. You're always buying bodywash, mouthwash, and even "facial tissues". Are you obsessive compulsive or something? Just kidding, man. I bet you hate iy when people like me come to your site and start prying into the products you buy. It's kind of interesting, though - you sort of dedicated a part of your life into some kind of sick, twisted science project. Do you just shop at Wal-Mart or do you at least go to others places to pick up the stuff you don't want anyone to know about? You know, like those prescriptions?