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16 October 2000
Visitor Comments:
(Submitted by Little Moth )
<<<<First Poster Dance>>>
(Submitted by BalmainBoy )
Rats ... I've silvered again ...
(Submitted by BalmainBoy )
Oh-oh, Dezza is going down that slippery slope of
DIY home electircal work...its like a car-crash in
slow motion ...*beaming thought waves* Derek
dont do it !!!
(Submitted by Little Moth )
1.-Whole new way to connect
tab A to tab B.
2.- Really is a poor way to
keep the family together.
3.- Are we connected or what.
4.- I don't have a life.......
(Submitted by m'kay )
must have a good job if you can go shopping at
twenty past five ! boy you must have flown out of
the door as soon as the little hand hit the twleve !
only been visiting for a short while, but tell me,
whats the reason for having ITEMS SOLD 3 in
large type ? is it so that once you get home and
unpack, you can actually count what you're brought
and campare it with what the recepeit says ? oh I
see it's a game ! added enjoyment of visiting the
mart of wal ! (guess who this is ;-)
(Submitted by Abi )
*fifth post dance* - Better
than 8th, huh BalmainBoy!
I'm getting better......
(Submitted by Abi )
Okay - how about *sixth
poster dance*.....
(Submitted by calmer bloke )
whats the odds on a receipt today with toy story 2 ?
m'kay !
(Submitted by Cable Guy )
*knock knock knock* Mr.
Dahlsad, we've a report here
of an illegal cable hookup...
(Submitted by Scaredy Cat )
wonder what he's up to in the cellar that he needs
all that cable for !
(Submitted by Terry )
17 ft of cable is just about
the right length to go from
the bedroom TV to the
overhead "porn cam"...so I'm
told...
(Submitted by Abi )
Hmmm, m'kay/calmer bloke
- you wouldn't have a pointy
hat hanging around would
you? I know this isn't
receipt related as such, so
HAIRY SCAR!!!
(Submitted by Split Personality )
I did have a nice pointy hat that has been handed
down though the econs, but I sat on it - hence the
mad bit ! Savlon works slightly better than any of
my potions, would you use anything made
with nettles ?
(Submitted by PS )
hairy scar ?
(Submitted by Hairy Scar )
nettles?
(Submitted by Terry )
Der, if WAL*MART is out of
hairy scars this Halloween, I
know how you can get
one...all you need is a
motorcycle and a bad curve.
(Submitted by Throbbing Throttle )
Wiped out !
(Submitted by Throbbing Gristle )
Hot on the heels of love.
(Submitted by Mrs Campbell )
Nobody cares...nobody cares...
(Submitted by Dog Collar )
Thats not a very nice thing to say !
(Submitted by Andre )
17ft cable...is that diameter
or length? *wince!*
(Submitted by Chiqca )
three... receipts... in...
three... days...
AAAARRRRGGGGG! BRAIN
OVERLOAD!!!!!
(Submitted by Terry )
Easy Chic...I don't mean to
alarm you, but it's highly
possible he'll pick up TS2
today. It is available y'know.
(Submitted by Abi )
Hey Der - if you pick up TS2
- can we all come round to
watch it? You can show us
what you've been doing with
your new cable.....
(Submitted by in lieu of monogamy )
if'n i had a 17 ft cable, i'd like to think i'd have 2
connect hers to go along wif it too. do you live in
utah?
(Submitted by strong cash flow )
buying stuff at 5:00 on a workday and having
$27.00 in cash in your pocket... things are really
looking up.
(Submitted by Tick Boy )
Lieu, you know what the
penalty for bigamy in the
U.S. is, right...
(Submitted by Freud )
Screw Mushu and the Compubank
he rode in on.
(Submitted by lieu )
what, loss of hearing in BOTH ears?
(Submitted by Little Moth )
Mrs.C I care.
(Submitted by Mrs Campbell )
*patting little moth on the
tip of his furry antennae*
(Submitted by Tick Boy )
Having TWO wives.
(Submitted by Little Moth )
<<here>> Have a blood worm,
I've got an extra one.
(Submitted by Little Moth )
Chicq, Got an extra subway
token?
(Submitted by Abi )
Hello....? Don't tell me
everybody's WORKING!
(Submitted by Merlin )
Abi, "working" a slightly ambigous term, it's all a
matter of scale ! He works, she works, they work,
you work, I make potions !
(Submitted by Workules )
Most of the mortals are
sleeping @ this time...
(Submitted by Terry )
Damn Abi...No TS2. And I
already had my "special"
container of popcorn ready
for the showing...
(Submitted by Abi )
Terry - thanks for the
warning, I'll make sure I
don't sit next to you then!
Merlin - welcome back old
boy!
(Submitted by Spatula )
Workules - haven't seen you
for a while, aren't mortals
boring! I suppose they
exhaust themselves with
whatever they're using all
that cable for! Merlin - pass
me one of your 'special'
potions please....
(Submitted by Merlin )
My thanks, Abi. It feels a little strange walking (sic)
amongst the mortals once more - I must try and
concoct a new potion that doesn't contain nettles !
Do you think that Derek can get me a new hat next
time he visits the Mart of Wal ?
(Submitted by Merlin )
Sorry Spatula, didn't realized that you had
appearred, I was gazing out of my cave at the rain
and wind, remembering my time of the Moors of
Dart ! I am pleased, a potion, of course you may !
The second of the Nine Potions is Wealth ! Do
you need help or are you fluid - financially
speaking that is ;-)
(Submitted by Chiquita )
little moth, I can score you
some L.A. subway tokens (YAH!
STRIKE IS OVER!!). But if you
want NY tokens for the World
Series, you're gonna have to
hit up our gal pal Dal. Or
you might try looking through
the toaster box for some...
Derek's got just about
everything in there.
(Submitted by in lieu of water tables )
we have subway tokens here in
houston. they're called oars.
(Submitted by "lets go down to the lobby" )
how about T&A2? i too already
have my "special" bottomless
container of popporn ready
for the showing...
(Submitted by Little Moth )
Sorry to confuse you. Maybe
I can find missing cerebellum
parts in the toaster box.
Maybe there might be a potion
avaible.
(Submitted by susieonprozac )
CEREBELLUM???? Haven't you
heard of bovine spongiform
encephalopathy!! Spit it out.
Now, theres a good little moth
(Submitted by bse? )
is that pissed-off elsie
disease?
(Submitted by Wendy )
Do crazy hamburgers taste
different than the well
adjusted? Nuke 'em and
douse 'em with ketchup. Still
gotta be better'n McDonalds.
(Submitted by Rock Hudson )
Diseased meat jokes are NOT
funny...
(Submitted by Doris (in lieu of Gay) )
oh, rock! you're such a stick in the pud!
(Submitted by waiting... )
--^v---^v---^v---^v----^v----
^v-----^v------^v-------
^v--------^v---------
^v----------^v-----------
^v------------^v--------------
(Submitted by flatliner )
bedum, bedum, bedum, bedum, dum, dum, ping,
ping, ping, ping ping x infinate (or until the
machine is turned off)
(Submitted by Chiquita )
*fumbling through toaster
box* Hmmpff! Here's some
leftover REPL HEADS. Anyone
know how I can turn this into
a Halloween costume? I'd like
to work the CONNECTOR into
it, if possible.
(Submitted by produce section )
you could go as a large sammy
sperm (can i say that online?)
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Go Mets!!!! *waving at everybody*
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Hey, fellows, good news!!...I just heard they came
out with a new generic version of Viagra. It's called
mycoxafloppin...*rolling around laughing..holding
my side* That was a good 'un.
(Submitted by Abi )
Hey Dal - I'm sure my ol'
man's been taking that for
years! (About time we had
some man-jokes on here!)
(Submitted by token piazzaria )
excuse me, but can you two
lovely ladies tell me where i
can catch the pigskin bus
please?
(Submitted by bobbing for villa )
try mycoxadrill for what ails
you.
(Submitted by The Little Engine That Could )
ALLLLL ABOARD!!!! Next stop: TunaTown!
Everybody got their mycoxaphillin?
(Submitted by Skin Boat )
The Skin Boat also makes a
run to Tuna Town. A free 1-
night supply of mycoxaspillin
for all passengers.
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Skin Boat? Is that like a Trouser Canoe? Talk
about your powerstroke! I'd like to be the coxswain
on that ride. Mycoxatriflelean.
(Submitted by mother's little helper )
you've heard about the mets
fan that broke a tooth on her
vibrator?
(Submitted by honus wagner )
i hear the mets fans moved to
n.y. because it's easiest to
spell.
(Submitted by susie )
So the choreboy, in the
Hefty Kitchen with the 17ft
cable...
(Submitted by Drew Stephens )
death to sam walton....too late
(Submitted by Katelyn )
As a Wal-Mart employee I have
got to say this is a very
impressive site. I've gotta
show this site to everyone at
work!
(Submitted by in lieu of reed )
everyone, i've thoroughly enjoyed the time i've
spent wif you all these past months. it's time to
move on and i sincerely wish you all the very best.
remember, tolerance is a virtue and a little virtue
never hurt you. i will remember it as well. post
from your hearts and i will, without ever logging on
here again, know that you're all in the best of
hands. enjoy! lieu
(Submitted by Copy Cat )
L/LIME MARMALADE 0.99
SKIMMED MILK
0.49
JS S/SKM MLK 1PT
0.26
JS S/SKM MLK 1PT
0.26
SENS STEM GINGER 0.69
*RED BULL
3.49
*F/ROSADO 75CL 6.99
KINGSMILL SQ/CUT 0.59
S/SALMON PARCELS 2.99
SALMON FILLETS 4.29
SPNACH/NTMG PATE 0.99
MUSHROOM PATE 0.99
ENGLANDS CHOICE 2.12
JS DANISH BLUE 1.25
BGTY SPNCH/RCOTA 2.39
*NUTS SELECTION 3.49
R/FAT COLESLAW 0.44
*PRINGLES S & O
1.38
BANANAS
1.330 kg @ £0.99/kg 1.32
WHT S/L GRAPE
0.560 kg @ £2.28/kg 1.28
20 ITEMS PURCHASED
BALANCE DUE
36.69
CASH
37.00
CHANGE
0.31
GOODBYE
HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOON
(Submitted by Ho Ho Ho ! )
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start
heading down the alley that houses all the bulls.
The sign on the first bull's stall states:
"This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated
50 times in a year, isn't that nice!".
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated:
"This bull mated 65 times last year."
The wife turns to her husband and says,
"This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5
times a month. You could learn from this one!"
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said:
"This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He
mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!!
You could really learn from this one."
The fed up man turns to his wife and says,
"Go up and inquire if it had to fuck the same cow
every day."
(Submitted by In loo of lieu )
There once was a lieu in lieu
of lieu who receipt posted
like he was in a trouser canoe
now the canoe went over the
rapids as lieu decried all
others so vapid as to canoe in
lieu of a screw
(Submitted by Tick Boy )
Same cow...he he he
(Submitted by Tock Girl )
He he he ... ho ho ho
(Submitted by FOX )
Awsome joke. If I weren't at
work I would laugh
hysterically.
(Submitted by Ho Ho Ho ! )
When Nuns are admitted to heaven they go
through a special gate and are
expected to make one last confession before they
became angels. Several
nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be
absolved of their last
sins before they are made holy.
"And SO," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any
contact with a penis?"
"Well," says the first Nun in line, "I did once just
touch the tip of
one with the tip of my finger".
"0K" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in the holy
water and pass on
into heaven".
The next Nun admits that "Well, yes, I did once get
carried away and I,
you know, sort of massaged one a bit".
"OK" says St. Peter, "Rinse your hand in the holy
water and pass on
into
heaven".
Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one
of the nuns is
trying to cut in front.
"Well now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter.
"Well, your excellency" says the Nun who is trying
to improve her
position in line "if I'm going to have to gargle that
stuff, I want to
do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her arse in
it".
(Submitted by Ho Ho Ho ! )
Frank Sinatra was in his dressing room before a
show at a night club. A
man comes in, and gushes to Frank: "Hello Mr
Sinatra, I'm a great fan
of yours, really love your songs, you couldn't do me
a huge favour
could you, I'd be ever so grateful... you see, my
new girlfriend is
here with me, and she'd be really impressed if you
could take the
trouble to say hello to me, you know, pretend to
know me - my name's
John by the way, I know it's a lot to ask..."
Frank says, "Hey kid, we all need to impress the
ladies, I'll see what
I can do."
And later, Frank goes up to John's table when John
is talking to his
girlfriend, and says "John, great to see you!"
John looks up. "Piss off Frank, can't you see I'm
busy?"
(Submitted by dept. of bad jokes )
...so, these 2 cows are
standing on a hillside, when
one cow says to the other
cow, "hey, have you heard
about this mad cow disease?".
the 2nd cow looks over and
says "yeah, but what the F@#$
do I care? I'm a helicopter".
(Submitted by FOX )
How 'bout this one...
An old retired sailor puts on
his old uniform and goes down
to the docks once more for
old times sake. He hires a
prostitute and takes her up
to the room.
He's going at it as best as
he can for a guy his age and
asks, "How am I doing?"
The prostitute says, "Well,
sailor, you're doing about
three
knots."
"What's that?" he asks.
She says, "You're knot hard,
you're knot in, and you're
knot
getting your money back."
(Submitted by Chiqca )
Ummm, Derek, do you have 61
cents I could borrow?
(Submitted by ozibloke )
Ok, I've checked out the
receipts. You never shop on
my birthday. I've also never
received a present from you.
This means one of two
things. Either you have
bought the pressies in
advance but never sent them
OR you are saving your
dollars to get something
really good for me next
year. I am frantic in
anticipation.
(Submitted by Chiqca )
Did lieu take everybody with
him? Or is everyone just
adjusting to the loss? I'll
give everyone who comes back
a free nanner & a 17 foot
cable...
(Submitted by Little Moth )
You'll need more than a 17
ft. cable to get me to play
the bannana games with you.
(Submitted by Little Moth )
::: Getting gooey in here:::
(Submitted by Chiqca )
Oooh, Little Moth, so glad to
see you here! *big hug* Since
you don't want to play banana
games (totally different from
reindeer games), I've brought
-especially for you- a VHS
HDCLNR and LOPERAMIDE. Enjoy!
(Submitted by saddam Hussein )
ok you guys who go to the
same walmart as our hero,
when you next see him sneak a
snickers into his back
pocket, tell the security
guard and get him arrested
for shoplifting so he cant
visit any walmart any more.
Atleast we can all get on
with our lives....By the way
love the site!Awesome
(Submitted by Lisa )
Hey y'all!!! Just a quick
note to congratulate you all,
as this site, and many of
YOUR comments appeared in the
'Wired World' section of the
"Herald Sun" here in
Melbourne Australia. :)
Well in particular, the
comments regarding the SUAVE
CD were mentioned. So, to
all those who continue to
converse in this page, WELL
DONE, you are now manking
headlines all the way in
Australia - many many miles
away from your three favorite
WalMart stores! :)
(Submitted by Lisa )
Hey y'all!!! Just a quick
note to congratulate you all,
as this site, and many of
YOUR comments appeared in the
'Wired World' section of the
"Herald Sun" here in
Melbourne Australia. :)
Well in particular, the
comments regarding the SUAVE
CD were mentioned. So, to
all those who continue to
converse in this page, WELL
DONE, you are now making
headlines all the way in
Australia - many many miles
away from your three favorite
WalMart stores! :)
(Submitted by Steve )
I wish we had Wal Mart in
Australia....but this guy
buys some weird stuff....
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Chiqca, I am here my sweet!!!
I have missed you but am now
well adjusted..ah, ya, know,
the guys, they come and they
go like buses..let us carry
on, then!!!
(Submitted by Dally )
Little Moth, methinks you
don't know what you are
missing with the nanner games
(Submitted by Chiquita )
Dalliance-baby! A well
adjusted Dalliance is a happy
Dalliance. Here, have some
GIRLS BRIEFS... I don't think
they've been used, but I
can't say for sure. I found
them in the toaster box.
*bouncey hug*
(Submitted by Dalliance -In Brief- )
Ohhhh!! Chicqa, adjusting the
GIRLS BRIEFS..my these are
snug...woohoo!! I am worried
about Abi-cakes. I know Terry
went on a trip to pick up his
new death
machine...*grimacing* Say, is
that petro shortage still
going on over there...should
we ship her a bunch of 17 ft
cables???
(Submitted by Dal )
You know I just LOVE
Aussies...Ya'll Rock!!
(Submitted by BalmainBoy )
I sat down in front of the TV in my local K_Mart
(such comfy chairs from round the corner in
Furnishings)
and watched TS2; so anybody who wants a
synopsis, drop me a line and
I'll save you the $9.95....by the way, how can they
call it the "World Series'
if no non-American teams were invited? I bet the
New South Wales Orioles
would beat the Fargo Farnarklers any day ...
(Submitted by Terry )
Death machine my ass...this
thing rumbles better'n
anything in your
nightstand...and it comes in
a variety of colors...I've
NEVER been able to do that.
(Submitted by Terry's butt )
Although I won't be cracking
any nuts for a while...
(Submitted by Chiquita )
Oh Terry-luv, there you are!
I've been saving this DURA
SAUCER for you... found it
buried way down deep in the
toaster box, right under
Dal's GIRLS BRIEFS. I thought
maybe you could use the DURA
SAUCER as a helmet with your
new bicycle. Just strap it
down with a couple of those
CONNECTORS and you're good to
go. Happy pedaling!
(Submitted by Alteracc )
What i want to know, is what
is he connecting a 17ft cable
to?
(Submitted by 15ft cable )
whats wrong with me, i'm a cable too ! i have
feelings ! i don't want to sit coiled up here on the
shelf forever - i want to be loved too you know !
why can't i find the right CONNECTOR - whats
wrong with me ! am i the wrong length, am i too
tightly coiled ? i want to be happy too ! there
must be a CONNECTOR out there that doesn't care
about looks, but wants to adapt with me as a cable
! i have rights, i have dreams ! i want to be loved
!
(Submitted by Terry )
Sorry to say, but the old
adage, "It's not the size of
your cable, but how you use
it" is a load of old pony.
(Submitted by Stormflower_Catweasel )
Derek, you ARE the Cable
Guy...:)
(Submitted by 15ft cable )
i can only aspire to 17ft, but maybe derek can buy
an adapter and 2ft cable next time he goes
shopping !
(Submitted by Stormflower_Catweasel )
Just had a complete power
blackout...Derek?...what are
you up to??...
(Submitted by Andre )
I am here Dalliance, I am here
*pressing lips against the
glass table top from below and
twisting vigorously*
(Submitted by lightning.prohosting.com/~receipts/end.shtml )
I'm at the end of my cable
(Submitted by white, round and very, very long ! )
Cables ain't what they used to be ...
(Submitted by There ain't no such thang )
There ain't no such thang.
(Submitted by lou )
wow…what a thing to stumble
across in the middle of the
day. I think I've found meca
(Submitted by Little Moth )
It's not the length of your
cable, it's the capacity that
counts.
(Submitted by Bronwyn Bishop )
It's so openminded, don't you
think, 17 foot of cable
between two connectors. Love
and happiness, y'all!
(Submitted by bob )
what kind of loser keeps walmart receipts.
boy you need to get a life.
start by shopping somewhere better then walmart
(Submitted by Stormflower_Catweasel )
...This is making me want to
visit Bunnings...
(Submitted by Ella Arsola )
You people have no life. fuck
up and fuck off, who cares
about some dumb fucks dockets
(Submitted by Abi )
Thanks for your input Ella,
everyone's entitled to their
opinion! Enjoy your life....we
enjoy ours thanks.....p.s. it
must be nice to have such a
wide vocabulary range!
(Submitted by Terry )
Sounds like somebody hasn't
been getting any cable...
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Andre, my little twister of love, where have you
been...and here we have 17 ft cable *and* a new
hefty kitchen...come on, I have my new
high-heeled knee boots on...let's check out the
stuff
in your freezer?
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Hey Abi-Cakes...so great to see you! Hi Ter,
welcome back.
(Submitted by Terry )
Hi Dal (((((hug))))) I'm
guessing Ella must've bet on
the Mets too.
(Submitted by lieu )
hello all. my cable went
down so i'm back. what'd i
miss?
(Submitted by Dal )
lieu..did you see, there was another lou here!!
(Submitted by in lieu of lou )
yes, i figured i'd better get
back and fight for my
indignity. btw, congrats to
your jets. ny's won 3 nights
in a row now.
(Submitted by Abi )
Dal-babes, and lieu, Terry
too - how exciting - to have
you all here, *big snogs all
round* (I'm assuming you
know what a snog is, and
it's not something really
weird in the US, if so, I
retract them..)
(Submitted by Tick Boy )
OK, no fair...I don't have
any retracted snog jokes.
(Submitted by Tock Girl )
Would a retracted snog be
a suck?
(Submitted by Snog Boy )
Speaking of something really
weird in the U.S., welcome
back lieu!!!
(Submitted by lou )
Isn't it about time for another
shopping trip?
(Submitted by lieu and (the o)ther lieu )
thanks. i was eliminated
early in the midget tossing
competition and got back
faster than i anticipated.
have you met my little friend
theo? be e good little
friend, would you theo, and
go get us some pizza and
beers. make mine a little
stout, please.
(Submitted by chuck woolery )
love connector?
(Submitted by pizza boy )
excuse me, did somebody order
this double meat w/o cheese?
(Submitted by Chiqca )
*hanging head dejectedly* I
didn't get a snog.
(Submitted by Dal )
*Group Snog*
(Submitted by Dally - I'd snog ya personally, but I'm sure you would prefer a big brawny snogger )
'cuse, pizza boy, would that meat happen to be
pickled sausage...if so, I wouldn't mind a girthy
slice.
(Submitted by ChickenBallZ )
Hi everybody, first time
visitor, myGod! This site is
everything I've ever dreamed
of. Wal-Mart is the retail
Nirvana. And Wal-Mart
receipts on the Web is our
own personal heaven. I can
safely say that of all the
surfing I've done, this has
got to be one of the best
sites ever. Simple, clean,
clear concept, and pleny of
interaction. I LOVE IT!
(Submitted by pepperoni piazza )
actually, it's mad cow ass.
sorry (but it's really quite
good.)
(Submitted by in lieu of fruit )
would you by chance be a
melon baller too, cuz i'm
sure melon would be
interested...
(Submitted by lou )
Hey chickenballz,
I just found this site
yesterday and had the same
reaction. I feel like it's the
mothership calling me home...
(Submitted by FOX )
Isn't it nice that in this
day and age, something as
simple as a web site can give
so many people the warm
fuzzies.
(Submitted by fuzzy wuzzy was a bare )
errr, something even more
simple still works for me.
(Submitted by WalFixture )
hey lou & fowl testicles,
check out the rest of the
site. there's more.
(Submitted by Sparky )
Fuzzy, hep me
pleeze...where'd ya find a
simple one...
(Submitted by Terry )
Give 'em a jigsaw puzzle
Spark...if they get excited
when they finish it before
the "From 5 to 8 years"
marked on the box, I believe
that's a clue...
(Submitted by lou )
hey!
I like jigsaw puzzles....I do
the shockwave puzzle of the day
every day.
(Submitted by Chiquita )
I'd take a snog from anyone,
really... *waiting patiently*
(Submitted by BalmainBoy )
*da-da-da-da-da-da* "O we're the snogs of the
chorus, we hope you like our show! We know you're
rooting for us, but now we have to go-o-o-o-o"
(Submitted by Little Moth )
Help me 2 , pleez
(Submitted by Dear Lord )
I can't beleive all you
people do this! Doesn't
anyone GO to wal-mart anymore?
(Submitted by Makita )
Chiquita...*SNOG*...now,
what's for dinner, and
there'd better not be no damn
nanners in it.
(Submitted by Stormflower_Catweasel )
..I'd love to visit
walmart..but unfortunately
it's thousands of miles and a
few hundred sharks away...so
I guess I wont be visiting
any time soon,
sadly ;) ..this is strangely
addictive..i've only been
here a few times and already
i'm just hanging out for the
next receipt ;)
(Submitted by Terry )
I can't BELIEVE God doesn't
have a spell checker...
(Submitted by Little Moth )
I'm gonna grow up and be a
daytime moth, then you'll all
be sorry. I'll feast
on 'nanner's+ egg yolks.
(Submitted by BalmainBoy )
Yo Lisa! lets have a nerd fight between Steve
Bracks and Bob Carr and see who goes crying to
Beazley first ...
(Submitted by Abi )
Chiq - I'm SO sorry - I didn't
mean to leave you out of the
snogz *Big Snog*! Forgive
me.....
(Submitted by Terry )
Awwww-RIGHT...Chicks kissing
again...God I love this site!
(Submitted by Abi )
Here Terry - have a
connector to play with, and
calm down, it's too early!!
(Submitted by Dalliance with Bedroom Hair )
Morn Abi-Cakes! I am experiencing
insomnia....and funny, I was just thinking of you,
lamenting the fact that one can't get a decent
electric kettle in the US...but, hey, I did get this
bitchin' didjeridoo. Have you seen Andre about?
(Submitted by Dally Piazza )
*waving madly at Stormflower (beautiful name),
lou, Chickenballz, FOX, Makita and all the
newcomers* welcome to the family!! Balmain, you
are Da Man! Damn, I wish I could predict a storm
front with my left nipple like a proper Bogwoman
but, alas, I have that dastardly Oepidal Pumpkin
Syndrome. Gawd, I am so excited, wondering what
Derek's gonna get us for Halloween.
(Submitted by Abi )
Morning Dal - what's wrong
with US kettles?? I'll send
one right over babes...any
particular colour/model??
p.s. I'm hoping for another
human skull, they'll look
nice either side of the
mantlepiece
(Submitted by lou )
Thanks for the welcome Dally.
Im looking forward to the
halloween list myself. I went
super walmarting last night and
got some punkin lights.
Abi, finding a decent teapot
is the big problem in america.
(Submitted by Chiquita )
*excited shiver* All this
nanner talk... it's so
exciting. Little Moth, I'm
happy to share all the
nanners with you, but I'm not
sure where you'll get the egg
yolks. Makita, thanks so much
for the snog, it really hit
the spot- but I'll be having
no disparaging nanner
remarks. Abi-cakes, of course
I forgive you! *big snog
right back atcha* Terry,
you're a bit of a pervert.
Stormflower, is a catweasel
anything like a copmut? And
Dal, if I were you, I'd think
twice before mentioning my
nipples in front of Terry.
(Submitted by Terry )
Chi, saying I'm a bit of a
pervert is like saying Dahmer
was a "people person"...by
the way, do you know the
difference between a mans sex
organ and a chicken leg?
(Submitted by Abi )
Not much from what I can
gather...he he he!! Go on
then what's the difference?
(Submitted by Terry )
You wanna go on a picnic?
(Submitted by Chiqca )
I don't get it.
(Submitted by lou )
I get it, but not that often.
(Submitted by pa kettle )
anybody seen ma? many many
snogs to you, chiq and dal
and abi and the newcomers.
here ter, have an exhausting
kerker (sp?) on me. i've
gotta go now, my picnic
basket has to take a leak,
flying nun style.
(Submitted by FOX )
Ok, I don't get the joke
either. Maybe it's all the
blonde hair. So is everyone
dressing up for halloween?
I'm watching scarry movies
and frightening neihbor kids.
(Submitted by lou )
I going to a party, but I
haven't found a costume yet. I
think I'll stop by walmart on
the way home and brows the
isles.
(Submitted by FOX )
Lou,Maybe you could go as a
walmart receipt, or maybe the
walmart smiley face guy.
(Submitted by FOX )
Lou,Maybe you could go as a
walmart receipt, or maybe the
walmart smiley face guy.
(Submitted by Abi )
I've always enjoyed nibbling
on a chicken leg in the open
air!
(Submitted by Terry )
Does WAL*MART sell picnic
baskets?
(Submitted by lieu )
sure. regular or extra frisky?
(Submitted by Yogi Bear )
Heeeey Boo-boo, maybe we
could lend 'em our picnic
basket. Go see if Mr. Ranger
will let us have it back.
[spoken in Yogi Bear drawl]
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Chicqa and FOX, I think Terry's joke implies that if
you don't know the difference between and
a chicken leg and man's dangly bits, then he wants
to go on a picnic with ya cause you'll be thinking
you're nibbling on some nice dark meat and really
you'll be..er..piping Terry's organ, if you see what I
mean. Say, son, you gotta a monkey to go with
that thing?
(Submitted by Smokie )
hehehe lieuy, extra frisky...that was a good one!
Talk about you Finger Lickin' Good...hee
BooBoo, watch out for those ants in your pants!
(Submitted by FOX )
hahaha, Ok, I get it now very
good, very good. But I prefer
white meat, not that I have
tried dark meat, so I guess I
don't know what I'm talking
about.
(Submitted by germaniac )
I am addicted to ze val-mart
receipts much like my addiction
to schnizel und kugel.
(Submitted by Terry )
A monkey? Sure thing...here,
just turn this crank and
watch him dance.
(Submitted by lieu - the other white meat )
parts is parts.
(Submitted by Andre )
*thinks* Maybe if I stick that
17ft of cable up my bumcrack,
it'll help extract the lycra
*twist twist*
(Submitted by Andre )
*coy turning of head away from
lips visible through the glass
table top towards Chiqca's
nanner* SNOG! *twist pop!*
OOH! That did the trick!
(Submitted by susieonprozac )
oh dear I think they've taken
Derek and his 17ft cable away
again. And only 5 shopping
days to Halloween.....
(Submitted by Darrel Strawberry )
***My urine has turned to a
white powder***
(Submitted by Stormflower_Catweasel )
Thanks for the welcome
Dally :)..what be a
Bogwoman?..and
Chiquita..what's a
copmut??..hehe..Darrel,
that's real scary and I'd get
it checked out before
anything else turns to white
powder...:)
(Submitted by germaniac )
Good lord derek! We need new
material!
(Submitted by Terry )
Good idea...Der, pick me up
some white material, I wanna
make a flying nun costume for
Halloween...I need another
bad habit.
(Submitted by Chiquita )
Stormflower_Catweasel, see
the 7/15/00 receipt &
comments for a full
explanation of the COPMUT.
He's a legend in his own
time. Right up there with the
CHORE BOYZ.
(Submitted by lieu )
ha, bad habit. that's like a
vice grip, right? i
introduced two people to each
other yesterday but first
pulled each one aside
individually to warn them
that the other one had
terret's syndrome. then when
they had their backs to each
other i sneaked up between
them and barked real loud.
each has now confided in me
that the other one just
scares the hell out of them.
(Submitted by Chiquita )
Stormflower, one more thing.
I just took a walk thru
memory lane (i.e. the 7/15/00
receipt comments), & I should
inform you that that was
during the Receipt Site's
"Dark Period" when we were
being stalked by an imposter
poster. So if you notice the
trend of posts from
"regulars" that seem to dwell
on bodily noises & secretions
(as any good 3rd grader
would), just know that it
wasn't really us, but a fake
poster using the names of
others. Just a little
background info for ya!
(Submitted by Dally )
Stormflower, ah sorry, the bogwoman was not
receipt related..but I will tell you this, bogwomen
mostly hail from Ireland and run around
nude predicting the weather. Balmain Boy told me
all about them. Watch out for BB, he seems
innocent but, I dunno, methinks there is a bit of
rascal lying thereunder.
(Submitted by FOX )
Chiquita, now things make
more sense to me to. Thats
what I get for being naughty
and not reading all the pages
and skipping to the end. I'm
sa ashamed.It really sucks
that people just can't play
nice. Did tha phantom poster
just finally give up and
leave?
(Submitted by match 'n sniff )
bodily noises are simply
nature's harp and secretions
are so we can identify when
food in the refridgerator has
gone bad.
(Submitted by Dal in the Morning )
Morning boys! *grinding Terry's organ in
passing* Hey Chiqs..wow, you must have some
snog to trick the twisted out of Andre!! And thanks
for giving Stormy the heads up on the
imposter...*waiting for lieu to jump on that one*
Such a clever boy he is, isn't he? *pinching lieu
cheek* whheeeeeeeee
(Submitted by lou )
lieu, I like your people game,
i'll have to try that myself.
(Submitted by FOX )
Ok I'm going into walmart
receipt withdrawl. I may have
to stop there myself after
work.
(Submitted by Dal (lass) )
Can someone give me the date of the
Superman/Flying Nun receipt...I loved that one!
Morning Abi-Cakes, where ever you are. FOX, as to
the imposter - Derek (The Almighty) nuked his ass.
Nobody screws with our Derek for he is Da Man!
(Submitted by Chiqca )
Oh, FOX, it got ugly for a
while. I'd say it was just
short of a riot. Then our
fearless leader Derek stepped
in & took care of the
imposter once & for all (we
hope). He was run out of
receiptland with a few
permanent scars, I'd say. He
was a very not nice boy. And
belatedly to Andre, I've
never seen a nanner used in
quite that fashion before.
Please don't be offended if I
don't want that particular
nanner back. You can keep
it, luv. *kisses & KITTY
TREATS for everyone!*
(Submitted by refraining from stating name )
*looking at lieu, mouth agape* people game?
*turning petulant* wot people game? You never
played the people game with me. Abi? Chiqs? Did
lieu play the people game with you? I wanna play
to people game too!...*whining annoyingly but
with a whit of charm* Damn, Terry...exactly how
long does that thing play after you grind it..it keeps
going and going....
(Submitted by in lieu of missionaries (not that there's anything wrong wif...) )
that's because i asked YOU to
bark like a dog.
(Submitted by Terry )
Try grinding it the other
way. It keeps coming and
coming...
(Submitted by hand bags rule! )
could somebody please explain
what a "purse snatcher" is to
me please?
(Submitted by no monkey ridalin, please. i'd rather be spanked... )
grinding the organ? is that
like buffing the german
helmet? (or would that be
helmut?)
(Submitted by Pres. Clinton )
I've never played games with
THOSE people. Could define
"games" please?
(Submitted by Abi )
Dal-babes! I'm here -
morning all, Chiq, Terry,
Lieu and ALL the
newcomers - what a party!
Derek's our hero, you've got
to go back and read the
receipts - sometime in July I
think - but Chiq's right it was
a near cyber-riot! Andre - so
glad you got that lycra twist
sorted, it must be a huge
relief! Terry - what is that
monkey doing???
(Submitted by in lieu of 2 )
you know that saying - the
pen is mightier than the
sword? are the 2nd and 3rd
words supposed to be
separated or was that a typo?
(Submitted by germaniac )
and so, on day 10, the
germaniac curls into the fetal
position, shivering in fear
that perhaps Matt Krieg's Wal-
Mart has suffered a terrorist
attack and all of the choreboys
in the world can't save it now.
(Submitted by Chore Boy )
Where's my suit of armor (or
in Abi-speak, it would be
"Where's my suit of armour")?
(Submitted by germaniac )
Will this suit of armour
hotdogs work? It plumps when
you cook it.
(Submitted by Terry )
A suit made of luncheon
meats? It could work...
(Submitted by Terry )
Hey Abs! The monkey is taking
a well deserved break...all
that grinding can wear one
out y'know.
(Submitted by Chiquita )
Hey, wasn't it WalFix's ass
we made a sandwich out of a
while back (something about
getting caught in the meat
grinder at the W*M lunch
counter)? I bet if we used
his lunchmeat for the suit,
it would be stronger than
steel (with a little gristle
thrown in for good measure).
(Submitted by germaniac )
And a helmet constructed of our
finest hard cheeses! The
avenger awaits in the deli
section!
(Submitted by in lieu of WalFixture )
screw the hard cheese...
let's use that head cheese
stuff. it's gotta be gouda
than the other.
(Submitted by Dally )
Excuse me, lieu...er...that wasn't me...er....I've
been meaning to ask you about that incident. I'm
afraid that was COPMUT you were
hound-dogging. If you don't remember I have
pictures.
(Submitted by hongree jack )
i sure would like some ham to
go with my eggs... if only i
had some eggs.
(Submitted by stuck in the piddle with you )
all i remember is something
about a front yard, lots of
yelping and a broom.
(Submitted by Dal )
Oh dear, which brings up another thing I wanted to
mention...www.nudepettingzoo.com emailed and
said they are willing to go as high $27 for those
zoom-in shots. They want to make it the opening
montage on their "Man's Best Friend" page. What
do you think?
(Submitted by Wicked Girl )
Oh, now that time it *was* me. But what you don't
recall the Mop of Love?
(Submitted by For the Good Times )
Memories, like the corners of my mind...ah lieu,
the fun we have had...remember that time when
we did that thing in that place? Dayummmm...
(Submitted by Terry )
SH*T! Those bastards only
gave me twenty! What, do they
pay by the inch?
(Submitted by FTGT )
Oh wait..I'm so sorry..I just recalled that was with
the broom...I don't think you
were..um...there...um...so...nevermind...
(Submitted by Wicked )
Terry, that may very well be...how long is your
dawg's thingie?
(Submitted by Abi )
Maybe the monkey rolled
you over for the other
$7...well, that's what the
pictures looked like anyway.
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Oooooo bad monkey. Bad, bad monkey!!!
(Submitted by Abi )
Go on Dal - give it a good
thrashing with your mop!
(Submitted by Old Mac Donald )
Hey, I got some farm animals
y'all might be interested in.
(Submitted by Not Kosher )
*looking at Abi* Mac is getting nervous...*stamping
my feets* They never let us have _any_ fun! Okay,
okay, okay, back to the meats and vegetables
then. I wonder what it is like to bless a pickle. That
must be an interesting job.
(Submitted by Terry )
...and do you get paid in
dill dough?
(Submitted by lieu )
on cue i can unencumber
myself when i dilly dally
around.
(Submitted by lieuny )
if a holy pickle falls over
in the woods and the pope
isn't there to hear it, does
it make oprah's shit stink?
(Submitted by the holy germaniac )
how many pickles would a fickle
Pope tickle, if a fickle Pope
did tickle pickles.
AMEN
(Submitted by Pope in Fresh )
dill dough...hehehe
(Submitted by BalmainBoy )
What do you call a court jester carrying a nun?
Virgin on the ridiculous ...
(Submitted by Terry )
What's a virgin?
(Submitted by Stormflower_Catweasel )
Being of partly Irish lineage
I could very well be related
to a bogwoman!!..closest i've
got to predicting the weather
though is running outside in
the pj's at midnight
yelling 'it's
snowing!!'. ...that July 15
receipt!..hehe..good to know
that something as important
as an 'equate anti' can be
purchased for under $2!!!
Wonder if the copmut's chewed
the nads out of the desk yet?
(Submitted by Merlin )
<sniff, sniff> Greetings <cough, cough> been away
making potions for myself this time, spending too
much time outside on cold, wet mornings i'm
afraid. Collecting dew from the first flower to open
in the fairy wood for the last potion i made was a
little too much ... hope you liked it Spatula ?
(Submitted by lieu )
excuse me? collecting dew
from the first flower to open
in the fairy wood? i hope
you're wearing a hazmat suit
when that lily is shaken.
(Submitted by germaniac )
Oh yeah? I...I... ::collapsing
in tears:: I can't think of
anything funny. DEREK!
DELIVER US! ::sobbing at
desk::
(Submitted by Merlin )
no, just my usual black wizard gown with point
black hat ! PS - so is this wizard, I'll have to watch
how i say things in future, if what i say can be
mis-understood !
(Submitted by Miss Understood )
How do they say things in the
future? do they still speak
English or have we all been
enlightened?
(Submitted by lieu )
fubonics.
(Submitted by Terry )
Miss Understood...isn't that
an oxymoron?
(Submitted by germaniac )
What do you call an idiot who's
a little bit like a beast of
burden?
AN OXYMORON!
(Submitted by Merlin )
i speak the language of the ancient ones, always
have done and always will do ! the future ! what
is the future and what does it hold ? I could tell
you, but then you would know and where's the
enjoyment in that !
(Submitted by Woody )
Has anybody seen my new movie
yet, and did it give you a me?
(Submitted by Dalliance )
Wots a hazmat suit?
(Submitted by in lieu of oxybuds )
i used to work with
occidental petroleum, or
oxy. don't think we didn't
have a few around there
(especially in legal and
accounting.) (apologies to
chiq, who's not one)
(Submitted by lieu )
hazmat = hazardous materials
suit. protects you from most
chemicals and biologicals but
not a good place to vent your
mexican food frustrations
since it's a closed system.
(Submitted by Terry )
leisure=made of hazardous
materials suit. protects you
from most sexual experiences.
(Submitted by germaniac )
Genie: hazmat, will travel
(Submitted by in lieu of abi road )
nehru = psychadellic
materials suit. protects you
from most dangerous realities
(except for yoko).
(Submitted by in lieu of cindy crawfords )
polyester = geekdom suit.
protects you from library
dates with any girls except
those named polly and ester.
(Submitted by Abi on the road again )
Damn, I'm throwing out that
leisure suit, it sure explains
a lot!
(Submitted by dot cum )
ester be the one who shoots
her machine gun...
(Submitted by dot communist )
mao = 19th century suit.
protects you from most modern
conveniences (but not
weapons.)
(Submitted by FOX )
Thank God it's Friday!!!!! I
can't wait till five. Terry
very funny with the leisure
suit. Best profalactic I have
ever known.
(Submitted by White Guy )
Does Polly want a "cracker"
(Submitted by Terry )
Speaking of
profalac...prophul...profuli..
.CONDOMS, isn't it time for
some "Holiday Party
Preparedness" Mr. D?
(Submitted by germaniac )
I tried to be a profalactic,
but I found there was too much
pressure on the tour.
(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal )
Ahhh ... what a wonderful
thing. To pop in and see all
the great writers are still
here!!! Hi all .....
(Submitted by Danielle B. )
One question, why do you do
this?
(Submitted by AUSSIE )
Whats with the 17 feet, c'mon
you Yanks keep up with the
rest of the world and get
metric!
(Submitted by Stormflower_Catweasel )
I want a nehru..nay, I NEED a
nehru..
(Submitted by Dally )
SUZ..*big hug*.great to see you! Make that 2
Nehrus please! I want one too. Aussie, I'm not
sure why we don't go to the metric system but I
think it's for the same reason you guys insist on
driving on the wrong side of the road *jumbo
charmer grin* You see what I'm saying. That and
the metric system is way too complicated for us.
But could some Brit *please* explain to me
why..why..why..oh but why do you not have faucets
that allow for warm water? You've got sub-zero or
100 C. What's up with that? It's so S&M. I worry.
(Submitted by Britany )
I'm addicted to Wal-Mart and
your site, but even i've
never went to Wal-Mart three
days in a row.
(Submitted by is it a regional ting? )
nor english class?
(Submitted by lieu )
yawn, morning all. i just
can't seem to get up this
morning. anybody seen my
viagra?
(Submitted by Drew the popular princess )
HERE'S THE DEAL:
I think that we (as in all of us) should go and venture to the HOLY LAND that is WAL-MART store # . Afterwards, we could all go see Derek! Possiblilty? I think so...
A MESSAGE TO DEREK:
Are you planning on purchasing Toy Story Two? Your receipt is delivering a strange subliminal message instructing you to.... Take NOTICE!
(Submitted by Drew who made a mistake... )
Store Number 1627.
MY BRAIN IS MELTING!
(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )
YES, DIRTY CABLE WHERE PPL
TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES!
(Submitted by arun )
please send me a project
report and synopsis of a
polishing or buffing machine
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