Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by MaskingTape )

First poster dance! woo

(Submitted by Grimhim )

Suave CD? What do they play?

(Submitted by in lieu of pg )

whatever it is, i'll bet it's clean.

(Submitted by suave and debonaire )

please feel free to pronounce de-bone-ere however you'd like...

(Submitted by lieutenant governess )

is de-bone-ere like getting your virginity back? screw that!

(Submitted by Chiqca )

*6th poster waltz* Ahhh, it's been quite a while since we've had a counter card. It really hits the spot.

(Submitted by Rico Suave )

Hey man, glad to see somebody's buying my CD (even if it was out of the clearance rack). 68 cents? What a steal for that fine set of tunes.

(Submitted by moi )

uh oh... Toy Story 2 is coming out. Will he buy it for the kids??

(Submitted by little moth )

Let me save you the money Derek - Woody gets left behind, Buzz goes to rescue him, everyone is re-united in the final reel.

(Submitted by amy )

suave cd means suave conditioner doesnt it?

(Submitted by tell me more )

Not conditioner, but a condenser ! It's used to reduce suaves. It gives the rest of us a chance with the fairer sex - with sauves around most of us don't stand a chance. Don't know why Derek is buying it though, he seems happerly settled, unless he's got he's eye on someone else and thinks he needs a bit of help !

(Submitted by John Prell )

Y'know why SUAVE only costs 68 cents? 'Cause it SUCKS.

(Submitted by i said tell me more )

Anything that 'sucks' for only 68 cents, is cheap in my book !

(Submitted by Mrs Robinson )

I need a graduate !

(Submitted by Merlin )

I've a degree in Wizardology ?

(Submitted by Mrs Robinson )

I prefer my men younger, you sound ancient !

(Submitted by Dalliance w/ Brave Face )

Well. I guess this seals it. Little Moth was right on the last post. My Snickers craving will go unanswered. Obviously, he's cleaned the house, bought new servants and a new kitchen and now, now this, a Suave CD. He's found the Greeter of His Dreams. Oh, who was I kidding anyway...damnit, I rue the day that Dr. slapped my penis off.

(Submitted by Confused from UK )

whatsa counter card ?

(Submitted by Sparky )

A guy who tells jokes at a diner.

(Submitted by Terry )

By the way, regarding the last receipt, which in my opinion has been glossed over, HOLY SH*T! Do you only clean once a year, or is Mom coming over. And Suave really does suck.

(Submitted by Cathy T. )

Looks like your on a budget. Suave conditioner...is as good as the expensive conditioner. Was it someone's birthday. Thanks, it reminded me, I need to get a card for my stepdad's birthday.

(Submitted by Confused from UK )

Have about a translation of the items you buy for your non-american readers, then perhaps someone will tell me what a counter card is ! I've worked out what sauve cd is, that wasn't too difficult, considering the other comments !

(Submitted by happy monday )

I didn't know you could get any sort of conditioner that cheap.

(Submitted by dr. zhivago's red-faced brother )

counter card's a revolutionary permit you get from the czech-out lane.

(Submitted by singed i've been loving you )

good one, sparky. were you the inventor of the aim-n- flame? i've had to buy buttrogaine wif minoxidil since using you product. party on, flame boy.

(Submitted by Confused from UK )

Great, thanks (sic) !

(Submitted by hanging up my coat elsewhere )

i saw a flame boy on millionaire last night. did you see that sappy display? just how big is this freaking closet they keep cumming out of?

(Submitted by Cleavon )

Where's all da white wimmen at?

(Submitted by madeline )

i'm not a wabbit, i kneed some west.

(Submitted by in lieu of julia child )

excuse me while i whip this out.

(Submitted by Robert Conrad )

OUCH.

(Submitted by peewee herman )

excuse me while i whip this out.

(Submitted by helen keller )

are you talking to me?

(Submitted by Bill Clinton )

excuse me while i whip this out

(Submitted by FOX )

Ooooo, new reciepts. I think I'm goonna pop.

(Submitted by nap time )

bill, i'd like to introduce you to lorena bobbitt.

(Submitted by Terry )

Not receipt related, but Miss Alabama got screwed, and not in a good way.

(Submitted by Billy Gonad )

if you have to whip it out make sure there are no farmers wives around, especially if yours happens to be mouse-shaped.

(Submitted by Miss Alabama )

How many light bulbs does it take to screw Miss Alabma ?

(Submitted by Tick Boy )

Speaking of wives, my wife is SOOOOO fat...the other day, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

(Submitted by Rikki Lake )

Hey, thats not funny ! We are NOT fat, we've just "big boned" ! Large women have rights too !

(Submitted by in lieu of ecstacy )

how did miss alabama get screwed badly? unsafe sex? was second to a farm animal? interrupted by a power outage? pray tell, o man of the terry cloth.

(Submitted by FOX )

Ok everybody put their junk back in their draws and get serious.

(Submitted by what, are they out of sheep? )

did they ask any of the miss america contestants last night what they'd propose to help instill peace into the middle east? i, for one, would be quite curious how liposuction and breast augmentation could help settle tensions in the area. maybe just one giant circle jerk from the west bank to the gaza strip would calm things down, at least for a few hours. or maybe if those women would eat something other than curd and take off those ugly-assed black sheets their men would think about something other than being frustrated.

(Submitted by FOX )

I'm sure if the question was posed, the response you would most likely get would be a vacant stare. It is beyond me how people can fight so furiously and for so long about next to nothing. I guess I'm just a lover not a fighter and don't get it. Maybe if we air dropped dome really good porn it would slow things down.

(Submitted by Dally )

O, to live on Sugar Mountain. Can we please move on past the screwing Miss Alabama jokes? I am feeling a little sensitive today, m'kay?

(Submitted by FOX )

I don't know who Miss Alabama is so if she got screwed, I don't know that I would care. That's what can happen when you subject yourself to a televised meat market.

(Submitted by in lieu of slim jim )

i thought you were miss new york. sorry dal, didn't mean to be so... ummm... girthy.

(Submitted by Dallabama )

Sorry, it's raining..makes me hyper-sensitive. No lieu, my nickname here in NYC is, in fact, "Alabama". That's what my yankee friends call me. *Poking Terry* hey you...i sorry.

(Submitted by ...- -... )

where are abi and chiq?

(Submitted by in lieu of gluttony )

remember, tick boy, that the best diet is one where you're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must do so with naked fat people.

(Submitted by Chiq )

Uh yeah, I'm here. I just had to go back for a while & examine that CARTRIDGE X from the previous receipt a bit closer. *turning cartridge x around & inspecting from all angles* I dunno, I think I'll just put it into the toaster box for a while & see what happens. *peering over edge of toaster box*

(Submitted by Tick Boy )

Reminds me of when I was a young lad in Alabama, shootin' birds in the backyard wif my Crosman BB gun. My pappy tol' me that I had to eat anything I shot, so I immediately took aim at the gal next door...

(Submitted by beef jerky )

i shot a deer in the ass once. ruined the best meat.

(Submitted by low school dropouts )

want to know where to find people that can't even count to ten? go to the walmart express checkout line.

(Submitted by . )

i'm craving a little debbie snack cake - from tool time.

(Submitted by FOX )

YIKES!!

(Submitted by FOX )

Funny ryhme for y'all. Roses are red, pickles are green I love your legs and what's in between I love your style I love your class But most of all I love your ass

(Submitted by 4th grader )

Fox man, that was bitchin!

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Well today's the day ... are there queues snaking down the streets of Dilworth, waiting for their very own copy of TS2? Hass Matt Krieg put plastic bubbles over the heads of his employees, and little drawstrings for customers to pull, to hear the recorded sales pitch? It would rate the pants off oreo-stacking any day ...

(Submitted by Sgt Schultz )

I belief I haff found mein old wartime buddy, Herr Matt Krieg. Ha ha! Krieg iss German for "War", ha ha! Achtung! Are you stockpiling weapons as well, mein comrade!

(Submitted by John Holmes eyeing Pamela Anderson wearily )

I'm big boned and I'm dying to have my tensions settled with a bit of gratuitous liposuction.

(Submitted by Freud )

Screw Mushu and the Compubank he rode in on.

(Submitted by David )

ok just did the item search and it looks like in almost 4 yrs u have never purchased condoms but there was a listing for hand creame.. that says alot about you derek

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

I WANT MATT TO COME CLOTHES SHOPPING WITH ME IN MACYS CAN I GET HIS NUMBER?