Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Captain Cornelius)

Why five plant saucers and only three pots? Derek, I know you're up to something, and by golly I intend to figure it out!

(Submitted by luli)

antacid hey? having stomach problems i suppose...hope they get better!

(Submitted by RaverChick)

Bulbs? Film? Saucers? Clay pots? My god, has the truth about crop circles been eluding us all along?

(Submitted by MissKitty)

did you give the extra saucers to the childrens miracle network.. i see dead plants!

(Submitted by melty)

Saucers, pots, and bulbs. Perhaps our friend is trying to create some kind of flying saucers. The real capper is that he is also getting some more film for his camera. So the next time you see pictures in the news showing flying saucers with something that looks like a light bulb attached to them, maybe we will know all about this scam. Question is, what will the antacid be used for?

(Submitted by JBB)

Antacid? I hope it's not all the gardening that has your stomach in a fury.

(Submitted by colm)

What specific kind of crack are you on? I would really like to get some as I am building up resistance to my dealers version. Thank you.

(Submitted by Max)

is the acid really made of ants?

(Submitted by AngryArmadillo)

Of course. Antacid. It is April 15th. Tax day!

(Submitted by Ryan Hoage)

I need a Smith and Wesson. Wouldn't that be the ultimate irony, to buy it from Matt Krieg

(Submitted by Darryl Marchetta)

Matt Krieg, this means war!

(Submitted by Kara)

You boght clay pots on my birthday?

(Submitted by Stealth Donut)

Antacid...snack food of of Wal-Mart Managers who read this website everywhere heh

(Submitted by Bob )

I didn't know they sold pot at Wal*Mart! In clay form too!

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

TAKING MORE PICS OF MATT?

(Submitted by Sly3456 )

This is one of those stressful days for "the man." He was in need of a break, but none was in sight. His taxes were due by midnight. Although it was only 2:37 in the afternoon, he still had not started his taxes. "The man" is obviously a procrastinator. He was planning to do his taxes clear back in February, but he just kept putting it off and putting it off. Something would always come up with some of his friends such as playing a game of basketball, attempting to get dates, but getting shot down numerous times. This all led to the building up of stress to the climax which occurs now, April 15, 2000. "The Man" needed to buy some antacid because the stress caused by his procrastination and taxes had led him to the point that his stomach was hurting constantly and the pains just would not go away. How else would you explain the antacid on tax day? Earlier in the day all of "the man's" lights went out in his apartment. She he live on the seventh floor in his apartment complex. He needed to buy the lights so he wouldn't be doing his taxes later on in the night in complete darkness. "The Man" hated the dark. When he was younger he had a bad dream of the boogie man when he was younger. In the nightmare, he thought that the boogie man was getting ready to come out and attack him. Right when this was about to happen, "the man" woke up from his horrible nightmare, changed forever. He would never ever like the dark again for the rest of his life. This has scarred him up until this horrible tax day. "The Man" had two hobbies that he absolutely loved, photography and botany. He loved to plant various different plants and watch them grown in the pots that he had on the terrace outside his apartment. "The Man" was also going to take many pictures throughout the day. He also liked to take pictures and place them within his photo album. Good, bad, insane, it didn't matter to "the man." Today he was going to take pictures of himself going crazy doing his taxes. He also was paranoid and thought that the IRS was constantly going to screw him over, so he took pictures of every page on his IRS form after it was done to prove the IRS wrong if they tried to screw him over. "The Man" wanted to take pictures of his plants in their new pots. When he finally got back to his apartment he started looking over his receipt like he always does and then he got angry and yelled at himself saying "why did I buy five plant saucers and only three pots!!"

(Submitted by Usagi )

Have you ever actually planted anything in your yard?

(Submitted by gern blandston )

Okay... it's obvious to anyone who has read these things that Derek is growing pot. The puzzler to me is why does he keep buying the clay pots?? Aren't they reuseable? Perhaps it's a clever merchandise return scheme where he brings back the pots only this time, they are filled with the sweet, tasty sinse buds he grows wherever. And I can guaran-goddamn-tee you that Matt Krieg is somehow involved.