Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by rebecca)

ok, this is sad. i need to leave.

(Submitted by Ed)

No way girl. Barmops are where it's at.

(Submitted by I eat Spam for breakfast)

"Always Max X"? Could that possibly stand for ALWAYS MAXIPADS in EXTRA ABSORBENCY?? hmm. I bet you were hoping no one would notice that. But I did, ya see? I'm on to you!

(Submitted by hdj jewboy)

actually, i think the ALWAYS MAX X is another item from some nintendo RPG, like finaly fantasy or something. If you drink the "ALWAYS MAX X", you whole party's hitpoints are restored to full health! YAY!

(Submitted by ron)

Dirt and picture frames... Another riotous 4th of July in Dilworth. Hey. Didja notice that the ZZN "E-Mail Account" logo at the top of the page looks like a big yellow dildo?

(Submitted by mr_pymp)

You would think that they are an RPG item. But if you try to drink the "ALWAYS MAX X" you'll find yourself in the hospital screaming in pain as all of your bodily fluids are sucked up by super absorbancy. Don't laugh, my brother died that way.

(Submitted by Carrie )

did the cat die?

(Submitted by George)

You people crack me up...

(Submitted by Polack)

It seems like after you get through the first dozen receipts or so, the comments lose the vulgarity and aggression. I think the receipts have a calming affect. I may have become a more nuturing, loving father and husband because of this site. Thank you Derek and all the dozens of people like you.

(Submitted by Fishy)

$5 for a dishcloth?!?!?! it had better do the dishes by itself!

(Submitted by Cosmic Cow)

So exactly WHEN did you escape?

(Submitted by MAXICOZMO)

What the crap is "always max x"? Why didn't you but tampons? they work AOT better!?!?!

(Submitted by Geoff)

Well, the fact he's buying maxis means he hasn't knocked up his wife again. He learned his lesson with all those Dri-bottoms.

(Submitted by Andre Crabshaw)

I know some great fens where you can get a great deal on sphagnum moss (if you're interested)

(Submitted by Lance)

Well I guess the Nabisco lost their deal with Wal-Mart.

(Submitted by lisa)

This sounds like a criminal organization noticed how much soil, diapers, and deodorant he keeps buying? either that or the soil LITERALLY stinks.

(Submitted by Surlycheshire)

Okay, I am giggling out loud alone on my living room floor. The comments these receipts inspire are by far the best part of the site. No slight meant to Derek's purchasing habits, of course.

(Submitted by lexic0n)

posted on 5-26-2000: i just want to encourage anyone who is reading through these receipts for the first time. if youve made it this far, youve got what it takes, and i understand that you might be tempted to bail at some point before reaching the end. HANG IN THERE! youre doing great! pace yourself, take a break, relax...but you must be sure to read ALL the receipts and their commentary. it is perhaps the most life-giving thing you'll do all year. (btw, you think im kidding? you think im not serious here? this is my second time reading through them all. i'll post again when im on my third lap, and etc.)

(Submitted by Trevor)

I have those same dishcloths. You get a ton of them for $5. They change the patterns every once in a while, but it's the same stuff. Sometimes I throw them away if they reek too much- and there is nothing that makes me want to clean the kitchen more than new dish cloths. (Must have been a big weekend, springing for the Always- and two packs! Maybe they were having guests.)

(Submitted by keegan)

thank you. I was kind of depressed before coming here. these receipts are great..makes me want to go to walmart and hunt for the horse clock and dri bottoms

(Submitted by Cableman)

So.....More soil....What are you doing? I know you are using all the dri-bottoms to line a box... dumping soil on them and planting some of those plants you smoke. The dri-bottoms would absorb the water and keep the soil nice and moist. I can not beleive my mind is working this way late at night.

(Submitted by Bob)

Derek, there goes that visa again.

(Submitted by Angela)

Ruh roh, he's buying so many maxi-pads...obviously the poor guy isn't 'gettin any'? Maybe this is why he buys so much Scott's soil....when his ol' lady's raggin, he goes and does his gardening to get away from her.LOL

(Submitted by ghangus)

these are beautiful...i'm so much happier with the state of the world now. I was going to check one more web site before i plunged my head through my computer moniter finally drawing to a close my dull receptionist life. But you...all of you, you've given me a reason to live...thankyou

(Submitted by Melvin)

I hope you got the right Always for whoever.

(Submitted by nat rat)

this one is on my birthday! i feel special!

(Submitted by pandora)

ya know...i'm beginning to thing that ghangus is attention seeking. he's been threatening to plunge his head etc etc. many times now. well, at least twice. smacks of attention seeking to me.

(Submitted by julie)

OK ANYONE WHO BUYS THIS MUCH POTTING SOIL HAS TO BE GROWING POT! MAN I NEED A GOOD DEALER....EMAIL ME K...LETS DO BUSINESS DUDE.

(Submitted by bulimicgirl )

go potheads. ill toast to that. i was pretty depressed when i stumbled upon this site as well.. it will serve as a temporary distraction until i have to get off and face my problems once more. sigh. go dri-bottoms

(Submitted by xstatic )

do you really need six mops?

(Submitted by i worship derek, savior of all... )

nothing to say, nothing to say. Noooooo! monkey, monkey, monkey! monkey, monkey, monkey! Timmy!

(Submitted by 5th Nootka )

This reminds me of two Arab people having sex. You're a sad sad man Derek.

(Submitted by Casey )

hmmmm, you'll have to explain the Arab theory to me, I'm a little lost...

(Submitted by Geoff )

I think its pretty obvious...

(Submitted by Casey )

uh huh... nothing clever

(Submitted by Joe Blow )

You royally suck!!!!!! bye!!!

(Submitted by Mike Roch )

You need to learn how 2 shop!!! Retard!!!! Shannon wants to know aboutthe maxi pads!!!! lend her a used one cuz she can't afford to buy a pack herself!!!!! From Mr. Boley!!!!!

(Submitted by cmp )

man!! who needs changing more, the kid or the little lady?! sheesh!!

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

DID U TAKE A PIC OF YOURSELF USE THE DRI BOTTOMS AND FRAME IT?

(Submitted by Solid Snake )

Still usuing my real e-mail. So Mail me! Anyway, just wonderin', do you EVER get laid anymore? I mean, buy condoms. They work, you know. And buy a Panasonic 3DO. And a BeBOX. And a CO2 Laser, and a C-Band TV Dish, and a Ham Eadio System, and a LaserDisc system, and a Quadrophonic system, and Betamax, and D-VHS, and VCD-R, and a MiniDV camcorder, and an iMac, and a Pentium IV, and a...

(Submitted by guernseygirl )

Where do you put all your art work and photo frames??? I believe Walmart is the reason I came to live here from Britain......love it.....hehe!

(Submitted by Karen )

What happened to the Air Crisps?

(Submitted by The ONLY place to buy YOUR Walls )

Somebody took all the air out and nobody wants to buy crisps!

(Submitted by Usagi )

Try that Wal-Mart Mastercard. Then they can track your purchases, and when they see that you forgot the dri-bottoms, they can remind you!

(Submitted by Quackers )

Wal*Mart: They don't sell insurance...yet

(Submitted by Nora (australia) )

who else gets tired of typing in the stupid email address EVERY single time you post a comment??? and where is the cat??? change the litter......phew

(Submitted by Clara )

I think Carrie is right, maybe the cat died. Or just ran away because of that damn baby.

(Submitted by rogue )

lol this is too funny! i need a new hobby

(Submitted by Bonnie )

I'd just buy the wife some dri-bottoms, too, and get it over with.