Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Andre )

I believe I am first. I don't believe it. Oh, yes I do. And only five minutes ago there weren't no "next" receipt! Jump! (jump in, and feel my touch!) Do you want to feel my kisses in the night? Oh Derek, I luuuuurrrrrrrrv you!

(Submitted by Andre )

Now Derek, seeing as I've got you here, can you tell me, did you buy that New Groove video?

(Submitted by Derek D Sysop )

For once, I did heed the receipt's sales-pitches. The 'Reg 17.95' is, in fact, the Emperor's New Groove. A very hilarious movie, I might add -- you all should go see it! NOW -- GET GOING!

(Submitted by Andre )

I'm on my way right now, Lord D of the All-Seeing Eye! March march march! And thanks for replying, oh boy, touched by the soft sensitive caressing soothing sweet-smelling gentle hand of God........................

(Submitted by J.R."Bob" Dobbs )

This website is equvalent to a "brain enema" ...so much to do, so little time..(scan scan).so much to do, so little time...(scan scan) ...so much to do, so little time..etc.

(Submitted by Kelly )

Happy cinco de mayo, muchachos & mammasitas!

(Submitted by Kelly )

Hey, since I am expecting my first born son in July, shall I name him Derek, or Matt? I could always go for the Derek - Matt combo, or vice versa, so that no feelings are hurt.

(Submitted by Emperor )

cool im actually posting near the top. must be a cute creme soda, with the "aww" and all...

(Submitted by Emperor )

cool im actually posting near the top. must be a cute creme soda, with the "aww" and all...

(Submitted by joseytreat )

sixth poster dance...nah nah nah nah nah nah nah...sixth poster dance...(drum roll please) SIXTH POSTER!

(Submitted by joseytreat )

if i didn't have that human necessity to sleep i'd have been the first poster

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

THIS IS THE THEME TO DEREK'S WEB PG, THE OPENING THEME TO DEREK'S WEB PG. DEREK CALLED ME UP ON HIS PHONE ACC AND ASKED IF I COULD WRITE A THEME SONG. I'M ALMOST HALF WAY FINISHED, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT SO FAR? HOW DO YOU LIKE THE THEME TO DEREK'S WEB PG?

(Submitted by joseytreat )

excellent reference to garry shandling i approve

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog, friend of many hindu and catholic people )

i didn't catch the reference JT...so...down with pants! This is still 5 may 2001 and there has already been a few comments. Oh, man, my loser ass just got done watching airplane 2, and that movie was pretty funny. So much of it has been done so often since then, but i bet the movie was pretty original in '83. (i'm gonna start calling josey JT, because its not quite so generic sounding)(i won't really)

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

since we're on the topic of root beer, kinda but not really, i just want to say that while i like A&W, especially for floats, I like Mugs and BARQES more. and corona.

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog with high confidence )

i don't really consider myself a loser, just for the record. Any self-depreciating comments that are made by ME are surely not serious, and what movies a person watches of course in no way reflects badly on what kind of person he/she is. I'm gonna go play an old computer game. maybe Starcraft. yeah. yeah!

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Andre, you lucky devil, not only were you 1ST POSTER!, you actually were answered by DEREK!!! *daydreaming of being touched by Derek's soft sensitive caressing soothing sweet-smelling gentle hand* God, that would be so nice.

(Submitted by Dally )

NYCFASHIONGIRL, that was too cool, sista girl, you go on and SPARKLE ROL8! Less see, wot else - 4 counter cards, D's thinking ahead for Mother's day I guess- such a thoughtful man. And, he got his princess the video, to boot. AWWWWW...Speaking of booting, I wish I could get some GV STORAGE to store my gov'ner.

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

While AW SODA makes me CREAM as much as anyone, I can't help but worry about how Derek's PHONE ACCordion lessons are going and why the SHAM POO. Doesn't W*M carry real POO? But I'm not fooled -- obviously the GV STORAGE is specifically for the Emperor's New GV. SPARKLE 8ROL, Neely, SPARKLE 8ROL!

(Submitted by JT )

NYCFASHIONGIRL had an excellent reference to the garry shandling show's theme song

(Submitted by joseytreat )

hey i'm curious where's everybody posting from (like what city)

(Submitted by joseytreat )

this is a very comforting web site to check out: http://www.cpsc.gov/cgi- bin/recalldb/firmpr.asp it's all the products from the last couple of years that wal- mart has recalled because of shoddy workmanship

(Submitted by tiny jewish doggy )

great find, Josie! I think it's funny, they recalled master lock GUN LOCKS. I hope they didn't find the defect the hard way! They have already recalled 4 2001 products this year, i'd say they are off to a bad start! The funniest one was the "flammable rugs", they were labeled as flammable rugs! It actually said that on the packaging, and i would have bought some just to indulge in my pyromania.

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

I am from Kansas City, Missouri. Stop me if you've heard this before, but here's my fictional account of how Missouri got its name: An important person who lived in this area a long time ago once said at a press conference, "I live in misery". Many people mistook this for a re-naming of the state and ever since that has been its legal name. Its old name is reportedly "crappy midwestern shithole". (really, it's not that bad)

(Submitted by joseytreat )

i don't think we're in kansas city anymore small jewish toto

(Submitted by Jerry Sprinfield )

I'm going to stay awake all night just to be the first on the list...i'll change my name, too, so you won't know who it is...

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog that was not amused by the oz movie )

Expecting personal information from others without providing any of your own? For shame, Josie. Also, Jerry, he doesn't go every day. FYI he doesn't scan them in at night. sorry to burst your bubble man.

(Submitted by joseytreat apologizes for the joke about oz )

i'm in federal way, wa a burb of seattle where there is a walmart that i've only been to once

(Submitted by joseytreat volunteers more personal information )

i love movies and i love the airplane movies

(Submitted by jewdog never worried about oz joke )

I chased everyone away!*grumble* i was more talking about location, but that works, too. When it comes to action movies i can hardly stomach older ones, but there are some funnie funny movies out of the 80s and early 90s, Of course space balls, princess bride, jonny Dangerously, blazing saddles...pretty funny stuff. Really anthing by Mel Brooks is horrible and/or funny. Classic but (now) horrible violent movies our of that era.

(Submitted by Tiny jewish dog reccomending guy movies (jk) to everyone )

Matrix, Blade, The Crow, and Boondock Saints are my favorite action movies. I've seen them so many times it's ridiculous, and i can't stand any of them anymore. I know everyone has seen matrix and blade, but many haven't seen crow or the saints and that has to change.

(Submitted by oh! )

i skipped one! i now see where it says where you are from. i like washington. never realy been there, but i like it. More than yams and corn. And about only being to walmart once, that's fine. Walmart is in fact evil, and only the low prices and many locations keep me and all the other mindless drones like me coming back (also everything is in one store).

(Submitted by die die die )

evil corporation trying to buy your soul with low prices and convenience = wal*mart

(Submitted by ennuyé at walmart, unusual word not in dictionary, don't know how to use, but it describes me well! )

Death to walmart! Torch it! Crush! Kill! Destroy! Burn it down and piss/stomp on its ashes. Damn the corporation and its stores!

(Submitted by 2vamp )

if it's not in the dictionary, then how'd you come by it? *curious*

(Submitted by :- )

The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the Dictionary search box to the right. Suggestions for ennuyé: 1. ennui 2. anew 3. anno 4. annoy 5. enow 6. annoyer 7. annual 8. Enoch 9. annum 10. annus

(Submitted by Dalliance )

do you mean inguene (as in an innocent)? or ennui (as in apathetic? (neither of which seem to fit your post) *biting my tongue hard in attempt to suppress barely contained sarcasm* What can I say, I'm a New Yorker. I'm sarcastic and say "fuck" a lot.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Ah, 5th avenue! Ellis Island! Taxi drivers who speak every language but your own! Biscuit city!

(Submitted by Dally )

Hey BBBBBBBBBBBBBalmain Baby!!! I'm so happy to see you. I've been missing you! A smile just flew to my face!

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Nytee-nyes Dally. 11PM here. Little man has a busy day tomorrow ...

(Submitted by Dal - curbside philosopher )

unable to suppress my smart- ass opinion, I respond. Dear ennuye, do you know anything at all about economics? There is a little democratic concept called "let the market decide". The reason big corporations prosper is due to one very simple principal - individuals chose, of their own violition, to shop at their stores. Why, probably because they are cheaper, more convienient, etc.. Now, I'm all for the 'Little Guy', but if you are gonna condemn anyone, you better talk to the populace. Simple economic natural selection, my friend, may sound cruel, but so is the process of nature at large. Sorry for the rant, but I think it's really important that one uses one's own little noodle and think these things thru 'fore ones starts stupidly condemning...HAH!!! and you all had me pegged as a bleeding heart liberal!!!!

(Submitted by in lieu of 7 )

i imagine after 8 rolls my butt would sparkle too.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Dal, I'm frantically flipping thru the pages of my high school economics book looking for all that stuff. What page is it on? Or maybe I should just look for W*M in the index?? *smiling widely & showing my SPARKLE 8ROL*

(Submitted by leaving )

tiny unkosher dog, you're chasing me away too. you might use a name other than timmy! butt it's still painfully you. yawn...

(Submitted by . )

sorry, that was mean. strike that.

(Submitted by joseytreat )

good morgan yall

(Submitted by joseytreat )

:-) btw i grew up in a tiny town in north carolina called hendersonville where there is one wal-mart, and it was a big event when they opened the mcdonald's inside

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

Yeah, yeah, I heard all about "let the market decide" at the Laissez County Fair. Sounds capital to me -- but where do you find the Free Market? And a hearty greeting for the Capitalist tinyjewish Running Dog and, of course, the joseytreat.

(Submitted by Keynes in my names )

Chiqs, it's on page 239, right before the chapter on GV STORAGE. I'm gonna shut up now cuz I always get in trouble when I get political. Better stick to the strumpet/tart/slut schtick...say, joseytreat - I know where Hendersonville, NC is!! woohoo..I wuz born and raised in Alabama myself. Hey lieuy, nobutty SPARKLES quite like you do!! Oh yeah! Makes me want a big old bite of Wal*Ass Sandwich washed down with a swig of Flying Nun. MY GOD, did I just say that out loud??

(Submitted by EScapade )

Well as Adam Smith expounded in "The Wealth of Nations" the 'invisible hand' will guide you all to maximize the utility of your resources. Also forget the 'Free Market'. Nothing is truly free - including lunch! There is always some cost or trade off asscoiated with anything you do.

(Submitted by :^ )

Keynes it's funny how right after typing strumpet/tart/slut you thought of Josie Josey... I assume it was coincidental... LOL

(Submitted by adam smif )

that walfix ass sandwich was a free lunch, as well it should have been (even with the fancy cut, large dill and extra mayo.)

(Submitted by snuffy smif )

i taught adam smif everything he knows about commodities, 'specially the outdoor variety.

(Submitted by joseytreat )

weyell (spoken with southern drawl) aren't you special that you know where hendersonville is...did you know that carl sandburg lived in hendersonville, too?

(Submitted by harry jim carry )

who did he pitch for?

(Submitted by enquiring mimes want to know )

speaking of the flying nun, what bad habits is the hairy assbiker up to these daze?

(Submitted by Dalliance )

:^, that was indeed a co-inky- dink..I wus referring to myself as strumpet/tart/slut, not the fair josey...EScapade, let's not revert to the quickie google search to argue free market economics please. All I was saying was "burn down the Wal*Marts" is a ridiculously naive view. joesytreat, thanks for thinking that I'm special but no, I didn't know that Sandburg lived there - very cool. Funny, but I always thought of him as a poet of the city - and northern ones at that. *shrug...ponder...remember* Oh, for the days of the flying nun and the Wal*Ass deli delight..those were, indeed, the salad days.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

The problem with running an Open University is that people wander into your lecture on Economic-political-militaristic-geophysical-globalis ation Groupthink 101 when they should be at their own courses, like Gossip Techniques for Beauticians 200 or How To Help Others Get A Life 1B. Me, I could sit at your feet and watch you demonstrate the invisible hand of the market all day!

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

You dare mention the trickle down theory? I thought everyone recognized what a horrible concept that is! The name even presents it negatively. "trickle"? Anyway, ennuyé is in the handy dandy Microsoft word thesaurus as meaning annoyed or fed up. (Don't get me started on microsoft) Leaving, i'm glad you are not the type of person to be spitefull or rude. oh wait, scratch that. I deny it anyway.

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

One of my uncles had a store in a small town(his home town). Walmart moved in and he didn't liquidate and close shop soon enough afterwards; lost all his money plus the business. I know it is hard to pay the extra bit of money to the family bunsinesses that make it their life's work, but i try. I'd say that my point of view isn't quite so naive, I have worked at walmart (where else could i go when they shut down his store), and they don't deny that their purpose is to steal the customers from smaller stores (standard business practice, but still mean). My uncle's store provided the town with everything they needed at decent prices, and walmart undercut them. I don't care for walmart.

(Submitted by Jennifer )

I KNEW those chemistry classes would pay off eventually. Unfortunately, Mr. Biker decided to mix NaCl with a NiCad, and won't be around for a bit. (read: trial date May 19th) And for Deandra, who sat behind me in class, that's a "salt" and "battery". Sorry, I don't know the formula for a Heinekin, or I woulda thrown that in. Imagine a "awwwww CREAM SDA - the cream, it's chic" (as in FREAK OUT) reference at this point, I'm too tired.

(Submitted by Somebody Stop Me.... )

I bet you have good-looking feet, BB. I bet I could rub 'em with my invisible hand all day long and be just as happy as a piggy eating roast beef. Oui Oui Oui...all the way home.

(Submitted by Worried )

Jennifer..are you serious? Is he okay??? Is he hurt? This isn't good...damndamndamn...is he okay?

(Submitted by i still worship derek, lord of all, just less often )

you know who you are>> I would have been able to understand if you thought I was stupid or annoying, but to repeatedly call me boring...*shakes head sadly*...that has to be the dumbest thing you have said. (I had to wade through all the retarded boring pointless stuff you said to ensure that this was true) I will readily admit to being dumb or irritating, though, since it is true. Same applies to you. Is this better people: IWDLOA!

(Submitted by :^ )

http://www.vaxer.net/~sylvar/media/walmart.jpg has a nice pic of one of the crew from the downed plane in China tied to a statement about Wal*Mart

(Submitted by Andre )

You know, Dally, the next best thing to being touched by the hand of God is being in a bizarre love triangle...you know, you could be touched by the man who was touched by the hand of God. Go on, you know you'll love it. It could be a perfect kiss that will take away your blue Monday.

(Submitted by Andre )

...by the way Dally, I certainly wouldn't mind pegging you as a bleeding heart liberal...I wouldn't mind pegging you as a red-rag toting communist, just come here and take up my offer of eternal vicarious-God-touched bliss beneath the roof of a smoky-glass-topped coffee table.

(Submitted by joseytreat )

i used to go to the carl sandburg home when i lived there that was like a pastime for my mom and i...they found opium pipes in his house, like they have with every great writer...i am so sorry to hear about your job at walmart, tiny doggy...you know here in the northwest we have a store that is just as bad as walmart it's called bartell's and it was founded by george bartel like 100 years ago or something...i worked at bartell's and it was the most miserable three months of my life!! the managers were very very evil and we didn't even get to wear nice pretty blue vests like sam's cult-- oops i mean walmart...we had to wear bright red vests which i liked at first but then began to feel like i was a servant in hell, so to speak

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

I never worked AT Wal*Crap, but I did a couple of commercials for them and I was glad to take money from them for all they have done to small businesses. In fact, I went to a Mom and Pop business and spent the whole check on camera supplies. It's such a shame -- I used to be a socialist and now I'm just a liberal. Well, gotta get some gauze for my bleeding heart.

(Submitted by tiny jewish stocker/stalker dog )

opium? not him too! nooooooo! It is so hard to not drink and smoke without seeing all of the hugely successful smokers and party people. I don't know about other people, but i for one will not touch most drugs. Joosey, HA! I worked for walmart for less than a year, and they are surprising good to their employees. I stock at grocery stores, by choice, and i've worked at many different ones. When you stock the dairy you have to wear aprons(why aprons?). Ugly red ones at IGA and Milgrams and a nice bright blue at Hy-Vee. The aprons alone are enough to convince me to finish my education. And when you stock the frozen foods your hands get numb and you drop stuff.

(Submitted by HAH! )

p.s. we stockers have played frisbee with every frozen pizza you've ever bought.

(Submitted by just a thought )

Topic: Stealing goods from walmart. When you steal from walmart you directly hurt the pocketbook of the owners. Since walmart is not employee owned or anything like that, a stolen CD takes almost five dollars off the 100+ million profit the owners make a year. (a guessimate) Walmart has already paid the source company to the product and have to go back and buy more sooner. Therefore in the end you win and the production company wins. It's the corporation like walmart that lost an infinitesimal amount of their profit. But remember, theft is wrong.

(Submitted by joseytreat )

i never touch drugs either...i just smoke 'em

(Submitted by joseytreat )

my my i am bringing corruption and mature themes to the walmart ceet site...i am so sorry for the young eyeballs... :) ...seriously i don't get high anymore...my anti drug is derek's big website of walmart receipts

(Submitted by joseytreat )

one more thing: has anyone seen the new kfc commercials? that is so messed up what they're saying: IT'S NOT THE CRUNCH. IT'S THE FLAVOR IN THE CRUNCH THAT MAKES YOU MUNCH. the last time i ate at kfc the food that i ordered looked like it had already been eaten (i got a chicken breast and it was mostly carcass)

(Submitted by Moon Goddess )

Ya gotta watch the movie "Clerks".. it's twisted and hey, Silent Bob is in it damnit! Check it out for a good laugh.. :)

(Submitted by Baby Shmp )

Andre, you bring up a damn good point..let me just grap my opium pipe and these dried poppy seeds *dropping to all fours and crawling into the smokey-glass nether regions* Wow, this is wicked, A. *toke toke* I wanna be sedated,...*toke..languid glance as I pass pipe* and QUICKLY before I have to endure anymore insipid. Here, tie this black latex apron on me and let's play that 'Big bad Manager and innocent stock girl" game. *waving smoke out of my face* "Oh my! Is that a pricing gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

(Submitted by 2vamp )

???? i come back 2 days later and there are ....oh boy... quite a few posts apready. heh. must be the time difference..... good job, though, peoples!! i've been passing this site around my circle to read already.

(Submitted by 2vamp )

what a great place to learn about americans, eh? :o

(Submitted by Andre )

Oops, sorry Dally, I'll just have to make some room...Shannon would you mind just moving over there? and Scotty, can you just pull your knees in? Oh Chicqa, I told you to clean up after you've been playing with white globes, and all over my best latex smocks too! Oh Marco, I didn't see you in there for all the smoke! My, put that thing away! There's only room for ONE oversized pricing gun under THIS coffee table! Now Dally, come here my sweet and pucker up............................ ..................

(Submitted by Jane Austen )

I always think a good pull on the opium pipe is a great idea before whipping off a literary masterpiece before bedtime.

(Submitted by Mr. Stroud )

Cute JP, real cute...how come it was your birthday party, but I got the bracelets? Wonder if WAL*MART sells SHAMPOO on a rope?

(Submitted by Escapade )

Hey Jane --I agree -- a good pull of the pipe before bedtime can be soooo satisfying. It's a habit I'll have to get into more often.

(Submitted by Jane Austen )

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good opium pipe must be in want of a pull.

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Was that Terry's voice I just heard. Hey, there's some rumors about you & Bubba in cell block 9. Wanna clear that up for us? Here, I saved a KITTY TREAT for you, hon.

(Submitted by Cakes )

Hmm Chiq, I thought the same thing - Ter, d'you need us to send you a cake with a file in it...???? Or p'haps cool hand lieuk to spring you?

(Submitted by Bonnie Piesse's lame chicken )

Derek, you never answered that question a few million receipts back: what is or was your pussy's name?

(Submitted by Dally )

*imagining Terry in his tight B&W striped pajamas thingies working in the chain gang...the middle of a scorching day...taking his shirt off as he pounds, *drool* over and over, (his big muscles bulging and glistening with sweat) the thick iron nails into the railroad track that he and his fellow outlaws are building *more drool..fast breath*...er...um...Chiqs, you happen to have an extra pair of those girls briefs handy?

(Submitted by Cakes )

*.... and three WalTart Goddesses are watching the chain gang, whilst washing the old Volare in the background, soap suds are EVERYWHERE.....*

(Submitted by Chiq )

*handing GIRLS BRIEFS and a cold shower to Dal*

(Submitted by Baby Shmp )

Jane, you are killing me...whipping out a good master..em..piece. Fun-nee! Andre, my prince! I'm here! I'm here! *elbowing Darryl* Now, how giving me a Roll- Back Special?

(Submitted by Aponolite )

Who knew the Volare would need such a vigorous scrubbing? Why Cakes, you look mighty fetching in bubbles...and Chiqs, your legs look so, well, appealing all slicked up in that Armour- All and those sexy sling- backs *squirting the hose on my fellow Wal*Goddesses*

(Submitted by Spatula )

*running around the Volare* My Derek Site T-shirt is soaking wet now.....!!!!

(Submitted by Zenith )

AWWW shucks, I'm all slippery now 'cause of ALL these bubbles. Anybody got a slip- n-slide?

(Submitted by escapade )

Will somebody turn the water so I can hose down these lathered up Wal*Goddesses. I can't see what we have to work with under all those soap suds. And here, here... lemme help you 3 wring out those soaking raiments - we musn't have you getting a chill in wet panties... that is if you're wearing any....

(Submitted by Inmate 146914691469 )

Um, I've got a nice shower waiting for any of you ladies that'd like to rinse off...just be careful of the festive "Map of Hawaii" floor designs, as they're really not non-skid...

(Submitted by cool hand lieuk )

what we have here is a failure to fornicate.

(Submitted by pearl necklace gang )

"dey ain't got nothin' but, nothin' but one safety pin holdin' that thing on. come on safety pin, POP. come on baby, POP. hey Lord, whatever i done, don't strike me blind for another couple of minutes. my lucille!... anything so innocent and built like that just gotta be named lucille." lookit yalls squeezins the white globes out your sponges and rubins the soap suds across your abdomens: yall don't know what you're doins'!

(Submitted by Innocent Chiqca )

This is getting a little twisted for my innocent little Chiquita Bird ears. ALL I wanted was a nanner- shaped slip-n-slide.

(Submitted by Carr )

Anyone complainin' 'bout the dialogue here gits a night in the box...

(Submitted by joseytreat )

oh where oh where has my little (jewish) dog gone? oh where oh where could he be...?

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

How much is that tinyjewishdog in the window? If he's still stocking at Milgram's, that would put him in Brookside about now -- that's the only Milgram's I know.

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

Joe C. Treet -- is that a dairy treat like a dilly bar? And they make a heckuva chocolate martini at the Dilly Bar.

(Submitted by in lieu of clifton james )

anyone not celibate spends a night in the box...

(Submitted by in lieu of poo )

$5.37 for 8 rolls of butt sparkle? man, i couldn't spare a square either.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Oh! Nice clean Volare. Oh! Nice new railway tracks right through the garage! What have I missed?

(Submitted by Dalliance )

*doing the post-volare rub-a- dub down, slo-mo baywatch jog over to lieu* "Stand back, Sir..is that 8 roll of butt sparkle still breathing? *tossing back my long blonde tresses and thinking to myself..."looks like I'm going to need to heave my breasts a couple times to resuscitate this one" pssssttttt..Chiqca, your headlights are still on.

(Submitted by choo choo )

Oh, hey BB *snog snog*, Ter got thrown into the slammer and us girls were just washing down Derek's ex-car and lieu was, I think, doing some sorta thing with the Toaster Box. Hopefully, it involved locating a muzzle.

(Submitted by lieu )

very good, carr. obviously one of the more memorables from a quotable film. ps, i dig the stogie.

(Submitted by enlightened one )

nice halogens, dal, chiq...

(Submitted by Call Me Crazy, but.... )

Is it just me, or does there seem to be someone with an Axis 1 Multiple Personality Disorder, with manifesting episodic paranoid delusions in our midst?

(Submitted by tiny jewish too boring for dal and lieu dog )

big gay monster, that was the one! Don't work there anymore, they gave me a few warnings for theft and i didn't want to force them to fire me. Did you look that up on the net or are you in this area? Have also worked at quiktrip, Hen House, and Meiners in this crappy Kansas city. Dal, i'm sooo very sorry that talking about normal life offends you! (I have always been torn whether to use banal or insipid, they are both good words!)

(Submitted by Katie-ay )

I find it odd that with all the criticisim that Derek gets...his site is still pretty popular because this receipt is not even four days old and there are already tons of comments on here....Derek..you must be on to something....keep it up

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog, surprised at how mean kids can be )

The mourning period for the Volare is almost over! This morning, on my way to work, i saw that someone had spray painted a street, presumably in front of someone they hate's house. The two messages were like, something about "goddamn flying monkeys" and "wet dripping cunt". Kids these days are crazy! The letters were dark blue and about a foot and a half tall.

(Submitted by BanalGayMonster )

tiny, I'm in Westport where it's all about the BumFresh. Not as intersting as the chiq chica's highbeams, perhaps, but someday I want to be a COUNTER CARD who counts for something or something.

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog, practically straightedge except for the beer and jack )

Technically, if it's already in the pipe, you didn't touch it, but that isn't what i meant. What i meant was that with the exception of weed, acid, shrooms, and a little opium i won't even try drugs. I have had no success with poppy seeds and i know some idiots who saw "idle hands" and smoked oregeno and pepper or something and they said all it did was make them cough for hours with a nasty taste.

(Submitted by Dal )

Tiny, what makes you think I was talking about you? jeeze, dude, lighten the fock up, please. We're all just trying to have a little fun here, no one is trying to persecute you, m'kay? But talking to yourself using different handles to bolster yourself is just a little too transparent and annoying, not to mention scary. Believe me, I've had my own 'temporary loss of reason' on this site and got called on it, and know what...they were right, so just chill out and play or go to a chat room. I'm not trying to be mean, I am just trying to tell you what I see.

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

BGM, Westport, that's just bars! That sunfresh always has police inside it, what's up with that? I'm cheap, so i shop the streetside and the place that also sells records (next to clint's comics), they have good deals on CDs. Hey, do you know anyone who goes to that coffee shop, broadway? Some of my friends go there and smoke. (but i hate coffee). Westport's cool, but i'm glad i don't live there.

(Submitted by Lad )

Oh, Dal, you are so right. Well said. Bravo.

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

please, Dal, you are seeing wrong. Besides the old handle that everybody knows, i have only used "qwerty asdf" and this one. (i am interested in knowing where exactly it looked like i was talking with myself) Honestly, i havn't seen many people who always put their handle, but i try. I thought you would be the last person to even mention using different handles, but fortunately it doesn't apply to me...

(Submitted by surprised at you guys )

Shot down for being crazy and then for not being crazy, oh well

(Submitted by Big Southern Dawg )

Right, but everyone knows my different handles and I don't use them to converse and agree with myself. Dude, there is something called an IP address & if you know certain secrets (taught to you, say, by a special Yoda) you can see from which machine people are posting - do you catch my drift, Sporto? Now, shut the fuck up with your poor, innocent victim routine or go play somewhere else. And, I am sorry, but your posts ARE boring, banal, insipid and mind-numblingly whiny. I HATE whiny. Whiny just really sucks.

(Submitted by Terry )

A night in the box really sux...

(Submitted by Dally Dawg )

Perhaps, that was too harsh. Guess I better take off this Xena Warrior Princess outfit.

(Submitted by Terry a'gin )

Um, if I may clarify...a night in the PENAL kind of box really sux...

(Submitted by Terry one more time )

Dammit, that's not good either...um, a night in the...awww, fergit it...I'm gonna go eat me some eggs...

(Submitted by Tiny jewish dog )

The funny thing is, since i go to college, I use the computer labs. Therefore, I have a different IP address most of the times i post(probably about 40 different ones). Therefore you DO NOT look at the IP addresses (you would have known about that) and therefore YOU are a whiny little liar. And i've never responded to something i said like i was someone else. This really is an open invitation to people who hate me to find places where they think i might have. (Also, I wrote about lieu being a bitch before he admitted to being the bitch, so think on that.)

(Submitted by tiny jewish worshipping dog )

I regret having written positive comments about Dal and her comments. And using multiple words with the same meaning makes you look less intelligent. And it only became whiny when a certain little asshole flooded my email with asshole emails. I blocked him, but i really didn't start this whole thing.

(Submitted by joseytreat )

hey except for that load of heroin i just shot i don't do drughjl;10+

(Submitted by tiny jewish whiny dog that is sorry that it came to harsh words with dal )

just like inflamed houses, inflamed tempers are hard to put out and often spread. They serve no purpose but to ruin things that people hold dear.

(Submitted by retarded little monkey, no wait, tiny jewish dog )

I have known people who shoot heroine and i would like to warn people, it really fucks up your life. I am not kidding, serious drugs cause serious problems. I am shocked Josie! Drug abuse by such a young little girl. Don't listen to me people. I'm told that your sense of fulfillment each time is worth enough that how messed up your life is doesn't even matter.

(Submitted by the evils of the nanner )

nanner movies! I've got the whole set! Gotta collect em all! More addictive than heroine!

(Submitted by joseytreat )

HEY!!!!!! :) i'm calling intervention on people being meanies

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog with herpes )

As you can see josie rated the heroine not just a ten, but a 10+!

(Submitted by never even tried heroin )

i've only done the "normal" drugs mari-HOO-wanna, acid, mushrooms, nitrous, most available types of alcohol, and i even smoked for a few years when i was in high school but as i said before i don't do drugs anymore but i do drink on occasion

(Submitted by joseytreat )

i'll talk to ya guys tomorrow i have my every tuesday date with buffy the vampire slayer in about fifteen minutes

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog, in an exaggerated condescending manner )

I wouldn't put much trust in looking at an IP address anyway. Changing your IP address to be the same as someone elses takes less time than putting a comment on here.

(Submitted by nevermind )

foget i said that

(Submitted by oregon )

g'nite dally

(Submitted by Dj-0 )

Why.. please explain to me why.. and Im still trying to figure out why Im looking at it hah:D

(Submitted by Dalliance )

tiny, this is the last time I am going to acknowledge you, do NOT tell me what I can and cannot do, peabrain...you may very well use a different IP address within a given network but they ALL originate from machines owned by a common network (did you know you can look THAT up too from the IP addresses? As well as from what city, etc.) Now, then, since you are so lame at getting puns I will explain also that my use of synonyms was in that context was a reference to your use of those same words. You seriously over-estimate your own intelligence and are out of your league here. Now, as far as I am concerned you are terminated. Please shut up, you are annoying everyone except, perhaps, your imaginary friends.

(Submitted by tony jewish dog, happy that Dal and her little buddies will not bother me. )

Ignore me all you like, I am just glad that everyone got to see your negative side. FYI, i use computers on three different networks (i thought i had mentioned that). I live far away from my school. I don't think that i ever commented on my own intelligence, except to admit to being dumb! And i hate to insult your *obvious* intellegence, but that's not much of a pun, so whatever. Anyway, you are showing more and more how little you know about IP numbers, as several other posters on this site live in this area. Maybe you are thinking their responses are me?

(Submitted by susie )

Can I buy you all a round of big Largactil injections?

(Submitted by Abi )

Where's Cheech when you need his pipe to pull on?? Hey Dal, come and lounge in the corner here, let's chill.........

(Submitted by Terry )

I'm selling balloons to pay me legal fees, if anybody wants a GRT VALUE...D, maybe Dal can give ya a little...economics lesson for future purchases...fer instance, you paid $18.75 on 1/3 for you & the munchkin to eat a box of popcorn and see Emperors New Groove at the Safari 7, and $16.95 to buy it for keeps at your local WAL*MART...know what I'm sayin'?...must be a damn fine movie to be so heavily invested...Damn, Chiq, any memberships left in the GALF...

(Submitted by Chiq )

Terry, my swwets, I just checked and the GALF is holding a spot open for you- know-who. Uh-oh, I'm afraid I may have just kicked the paranoia into high gear again. Sheesh! Someone get this guy a nanner margarita with a WHITE GLOB floater. *climbing into toaster box for a little nap, curling up on a PLANT SAUCER*

(Submitted by Abi )

Hey Terry - is that a balloon animal in your pocket or are you just pleased to see us??!

(Submitted by Inmate 1469 )

Sheeit Cakes, ya know what dey say: "See a broad dat giv' dat booty action, lay 'em down, and smack 'em yack 'em...col' got to be, y'know" Oh, sorry, that's some stuff I picked up in the joint...

(Submitted by in lieu of reed )

i'm just going to say this once then i too hope to have heard the last from tiny jewish gnat... you don't put words in my mouth and i'll keep my dick out of yours, you walking overdose of tylenol pm. now, on to the fun folks. welcome back hairy. we'd love some details whenever you get a chance. did you get to watch any convicts make someone their bitch?

(Submitted by son )

aaAWww, CREAM SoDA again dad?

(Submitted by e.n., the extra nanner )

PHONE ACC.

(Submitted by escapade )

Will you all take a chill-pill. Seems to be a hate vibe in here.

(Submitted by Cakes )

*handing out chill pills and wacky balloon animals to all my friends* *snogz*

(Submitted by Chiq )

escapade, would you be a dear & pass one of those chill pills into the toaster box, please? I like the pink ones.

(Submitted by lieu )

i'll take a chill pill if i have to butt i'd much prefer a suppository.

(Submitted by lieu )

you know wot they say... "cold ass, warm heart."

(Submitted by Cheech )

Hey man, I'll take some of them pills too, man...or did I already?

(Submitted by Andre )

No no Dally, don't take off the Xena outfit, god knows it's the only way I recognise you under here with all the other freaks and fancy pant wearers...and what better proof - there's Ryan in a Fleagle outfit trying to put a split in Chiqca's banana...come on lieu, just get your elbow out of my mouth - oh, that's not your elbow? Chiqca, a wacky balloon animal over here please to calm the lieu...whiff, was that you AGAIN Abi? Methinks we need some deoderant and fast!

(Submitted by Chiqca )

*climbing out of toaster box with Ryan right on my ass* Here Andre, this is a special nanner-shaped ballon I had Terry make just for lieu. Terry, how much do I owe you for that one?

(Submitted by walfixture )

lieu's as calm as karen carpenter's toilet water... no waves there.

(Submitted by return of the pink nanner )

thanks chiq! now... who wants to blow this up for me?

(Submitted by Andre )

Me! Me! I love blowing up balloons! Ooh, it's pink too, that's my favorite color! Get ready, here I go! Mmmmmfffffffmmmmphhhhhh! How's that? Is it working?

(Submitted by Terry )

Andre, weren't at the Meck County jail last Thursday night, were you? Chiq, I thought I had to pay YOU...

(Submitted by lieu )

i'm sorry pal butt it really really really requires a "female attachment."

(Submitted by Bonnie Piesse's lame chicken )

Disturbing. In the space of less than four years, Derek has bought 29 counter cards. The most he ever spent on one was $3.58 on 13 Feb 99. The least he ever spent was $1.25 on 28 May 2000. His average expenditure is $2.11. Doesn't anyone else find this disturbing? Isn't this sign of an unhealthy expenditure pattern? Don't you think we should do something about this?

(Submitted by Andre )

...but it tastes so nice too! What?! What are you looking at me like that for? You wanted it blown didn't you? Hey, put that pricing gun down, would ya!

(Submitted by Abi )

That wasn't very nice was it Andre........I'll have you know I smell wonderful, Givenchy III actually......!

(Submitted by Bonnie Piesse's lame chicken )

And in case you were wondering, they were almost all bought in Feb, May, June or August.

(Submitted by Andre )

Sorry Abi, I can't tell butts from butts under here, it gets so hazy. I thought it was a bit unusual that you might have blown off, besides, I thought I was doing all the blowing down here, mind you, it's so hard to tell what it is I'm blowing. Besides, I go wild as soon as I get a bit of pink latex in my mouth.

(Submitted by lieu's bro, blieu )

I ate some Givenchy III one time...tasted like chicken...

(Submitted by susie )

Dear BPlc, I like to make my own counter cards,I find it therapeutic. *sprinkling sparkle brol over everyone*

(Submitted by susie )

*putting on Gucci specs* make that sparkle rol, 8 packets should be enough. Everyone just think Happy Thoughts and maybe we'll get this toaster box off the ground.....

(Submitted by joseytreat )

must i remind you of our picnic? we had chicken fried lieu and marshmallowtreats and nanners and tiny jewish doggy was frollicking in the yard? *good times* :) let's bring back the love

(Submitted by Veteran Aryan )

(Lest you forget, we had to return the favor and put tiny jewish dog to sleep.)

(Submitted by The 6th Dimension )

"Where is de love" "(Where is de love)" "Where is de love?" "Dada da" Where is de love you said was mine all mine to de end of time." "Was it just a lie?" "Where is de love?"

(Submitted by john holmes )

"i got yer love hangin' right here."

(Submitted by The 6th Organ )

"Where is de nanner" "(Where is de nanner)" "Where is de nanner?" "Dananner nanner"

(Submitted by in lieu of kasey kasom )

wasn't there a group in the 80's called bananner rammer or something? they had a song... "i'm your penis" or something like that, right?

(Submitted by jen )

are you aware your visa number is posted for everyone

(Submitted by Harry Astbiker )

shhhhh, jen...how do you think I'm payin' for my bicycle...

(Submitted by jen )

Sorry Mr. Astbiker, I was just sure that no one had ever pointed that out to Derek before, and I think he should know. By the way, you have a funny name, Mr. Astbiker, but I bet your bicycle has a nanner seat, huh?

(Submitted by :^ )

What exactly IS a counter card? And I notice Derek uses a different Visa card every time if what jen says is true. Maybe he's printing them up himself?

(Submitted by Harry )

No, but it is quite a'peel'ing...*puke*

(Submitted by Prof. Astbiker )

I could 'splain it to you guys, but it's best if you find out for yourselves...go to the main page, and click on FAQ, you'll find all the answers there...

(Submitted by in lieu of... what'cha got? )

is that a polite way of saying FAQ you?

(Submitted by che' )

i never leave home without my counter card.

(Submitted by Dr. Vomit )

WELL yeha! I cnat belive I wnat to type anything at all! This is the time I should have smoked some crack and shot heroin. This is much better and I dont want to fry my baby in oil! This is GREAT! Mabye I'll forget To go to walmart and Eat my own Vomit! YUMMMM! Y U Here? Chil Dog PimPiN Bois for Crack? What was that? I think I had a flash back from the Acid I took last year. Oh well I'll just keep going utill I kill my self over a Walmart Recipt. I feel a Ranting coming on! IB a Dee Hib A Dee nenerr ne nerr balip blip ding dan dong. Wow That was just like when I put my head in the wash machine on spin cycle. 8-} Well its on to bigger and brighter things. Like when I take this electric tea I was saving for work tommarow. Oh well 10 mushroom caps and a hit of Acid never stoped me from going to work before. Slurp- Gulp.....Aahhhh. Thats what I call HIGH quality H20!!!!

(Submitted by Nancy Reagan )

What was that catch phrase again??? Oh yeah, "Just say no."

(Submitted by the good thing about being put to sleep is you wake up refreshed )

Either lieu is really high every time he posts, or he is just really gay. I mean, on Tom Green's level. yeah. I have to admit it's not that hard to realize which one it is. no offense intended, of course.

(Submitted by third incarnation of the Death shadow )

~as though summoned by holy prayers, a font of shadows and fabrics spew from the floor. slowly it builds until the pillar of blackness is roughly the height of a person, and finally it coagulates into a solid shape...indistinct due to the billowing deathshroud that surrounds the figure. beneath the dark hood, two pinpoints of crimson blink into being and watch the those around with a predator's glare. Vowing to crush all stupidity, the death shadow leaps at lieu with bloody claws and fangs extended.~

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

melodramatic way to express your dislike for someone, eh?

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Didn't you know, Lieu, Chiquita WAS in Bananarama - she was the one who never smiled in the promotional pics ... then she married a gridiron player, I seem to recall, and they had a son called Brooklyn, which is where Dally came in.

(Submitted by BotFromBalmain )

..and now all her friends call her 'Posh', 'cause she ALWAYS wears a mink bikini to Venice Beach

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Awwwww...damn I missed all the balloon fun!! Andre..lmao..you said fleagle...my god, you are a sick little puppy and I sincerely love you for it! Woohoo! Thanks for the chillin' Cakes & susie & Chiqca Bird. I get a little riled up ya know *hopping piggy-back on to Terry's wide, muscle-bulging kinda sweaty (in a good man-scent way) back* Hey Ter, come ere and let me give ya a lesson on the 'Trickle Down Theory'.

(Submitted by Dally )

*winking at lieu..winky wink*

(Submitted by Jennifer )

For those of us who remember what this one's about, I think it works. Sorry it's not Walmart related. "No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark Everyone around me is a total stranger Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger Everyone That's why I'm Timmy Japanese I think I'm Timmy Japanese I really think so Timmy Japanese I think I'm Timmy Japanese I really think so." Just for you, lieu, because if wit were waste, you'd be a septic tank. And speaking of waste, oh, never mind, it would be a waste. I'll just let the boy play with that, Lord knows his other toy must be getting a rash.

(Submitted by maybe )

from you

(Submitted by hmmmm )

already on his back, why say "come ere"?

(Submitted by heavy whine drinker )

They say there is no cure for lacking intelligent stuff to say. poorly written, indeed!

(Submitted by Dalliance )

BB!!!!

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog writing afterthoughts that will only make people think worse of me )

When i look at all the bad stuff said about/to me it's almost enough to think ME think bad about me, but then i remember the sources and it makes me smile. I can just imagine the unfounded condescending tone of dal's voice and the haughty set to her shoulders when she speaks. I can imagine lieu waking up from his drug-induced post gay orgy stupor and writing ignorant comments on the computer. Was I really supposed to be OFFENDED by these two?

(Submitted by joseytreat )

i just found out there's a federal prison in duluth, mn let's just sit and think about that for a while

(Submitted by joseytreat )

tonight i turned on the tv, and before the picture came on i heard someone say: "Check out the torque on that shaft."

(Submitted by Abi )

Andre, Andre - damn, I forgot yesterday - just for you - www.libidex.co.uk - WARNING: anyone offended by latex fashion wear and unfeasibly high platform shoes, should not look at this site.

(Submitted by Dally - talk to you mates later )

*logging straight on to www.libidex.co.uk*

(Submitted by Abi )

A non-receipt aside for Dally - this site belongs to a friend of a friend (the designer), their latest design was inflatable knickers!! I don't know if they're on there yet!! Over & out!

(Submitted by lieu )

that was good, jeenipoo. let's share a california cab sometime. i like your stylus.

(Submitted by Chiquita Bird )

BalmainBoy, SHHHHHH! I'm trying to live a normal life & if everybody finds out my Bananarama past, I'll never get a moment's peace. And tiny jewish dog, I'll give you a family-size bag of BUTTERFINGERs if you quit whining... puhleeze, I'm on my knees [Terry?] begging???

(Submitted by Metal plate in my hedd )

Is this working? Helo? Helo? Hey, ummm, oh yeah, I for one care how big the letters in the street were and what colour they were. Of course, I also eat my own boogers. They taste like... chicken! I kinda such at display cases since I put my weak-assed shit up front.

(Submitted by wall street anal list )

walmart just posted better than expaected sales figures for this month campared to the same period last year. Get us back on track der and take part in the extravaganza, wot say?

(Submitted by Sparky )

Here ya go Chiq, some things you might need while on your knees...*tossing Chiq a PILLOW, some FACIAL TISSU, MOUTHWASH, and of course, WHITE GLOB's*

(Submitted by Dally - on her way south for the weekend.. )

Abi!! the site is great and the stuff looks very good. Your friend is definitely dealing the good stuff. You Brits do make good latex - I got my stockings from a little shire over there, but your friend's stuff is GORGEOUS!! I love her catsuits and the riding coats. Thanks for the site cause I already saw one or two things I can't live without.

(Submitted by Dally - good good good pervert )

Jeeze, do you think I used the word "good" enough in that last post...but, then, I was excited and hyper- ventilating a bit *sheepish grin*

(Submitted by Inmate 1469 )

Dal, if I may make a request, if you happen into a bar while on layover in NC, and a hairy-assed biker tries to defend your honour from some masher, please have some bail money handy...Ah'd 'preciate it.

(Submitted by arkansan farm boy )

i like sheepish grins...

(Submitted by lieu )

i'd be proud to bail you out terry. if'n it weren't for your aeromechanical expertise when we were shot down in that peruvian river while trying to spread the missionary position we'd still be in red inca. i owe ya, bud.

(Submitted by hailbondsman )

aaaah, dal, haha, you been "posting any bonds" lately? (sorry, inside joke)

(Submitted by friendly skies )

*hoping dal has a good trip to bama*

(Submitted by susie )

I would really love one of those crazy coloured hats with earflaps from Peru for my birthday. So next time you're over there boys....

(Submitted by Terry )

Those are earflaps??? I thought they were handles...damn...

(Submitted by lieu )

not only that, ter, butt they also press boards against their women's heads to make 'em flat. talk about a great place fer a horny beer drinker. consider it done, suz. i'm 'bout ready to head back down to cuzco for a coke & a smile.

(Submitted by lieu )

i see that 3 of the cards you bought were the same and one was different. i also see no holidays looming in may that you'd send a friend or a relative a card for. further, if you'd bought them for a birthday you'd not send the same person 3 identical cards. i must conclude then that you're sparkin with 3 babes and one has bigger tits than the other 2.

(Submitted by To live and spy in L.A. )

BB, does she smile now?

(Submitted by Terry )

That's what I love 'bout them women from Wisconsin...those cheese hats they wear make perfect tables, and they're absorbant to boot...

(Submitted by A. Vivid Imagination )

Women wearing head cheese hats? Ssssssssppppppeeewwwwww...

(Submitted by susie )

SSSSSsssssssssspppppppppppoooo oooooooookkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyy yyyy

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

..does she smile now? Only when the lights go out, which in L.A. nowadays, is every 3 hours or so...

(Submitted by tiny jewish dog )

Chiq, i believe that last one was less of a whine and more of an insulting statement about dal and lieu, but i guess we all see stuff differently. I'm glad that finally all of the regulars have posted bitch-ass comments under their own names, I was getting a little worried there when chiq held off. I am glad I won't be one of the *lucky* few who check this site everyday for the rest of thier lives. I myself prefer interaction with real life people, but i imagine lieu has gotten his ass kicked too often for him to do that (i've got no problem with the rest of you, I wouldn't like it either if someone insulted someone i've chatted daily with for two years (aww, lieu, does everyone in your physical life hate you cause you're surly, rude, and gay?)). So while i don't blame you guys, i just want to comment on how you make an art-form out of petty. P-e-t-t-y. Come on smart people, surely you know this word. It passes for wit with you guys. Don't get me wrong, this is a great site, and intially you guys seemed cool, but just like in real life you guys have faults, mainly that as human specimens you suck.

(Submitted by Abi )

Yaaawwwwnnnn!

(Submitted by Terry )

Intially???

(Submitted by Cakes )

*Gasp* - you mean you guys are not real-life people......

(Submitted by susie )

TJD, I like to chat with people on D's website coz the people I meet in real life are all French, which is bizarre considering I live in Winsconsin......Hi to everyone *sparkling with maximum charm*

(Submitted by Abi )

Big cheese wave to susie!!!

(Submitted by Colin, the Humming Milkman )

Booyacka milk!!!

(Submitted by as in not virtually conversing )

okay, terry aint rude.

(Submitted by rusty )

God, I hate colin quin! He is so fake, he can hardly even read the news stories he supposedly wrote. And you can tell from his expression that he doesn't understand half the jokes.

(Submitted by what's wrong with my accent, punk )

I know how that is...those damn french people...hey! I'm French! I resent that. American déchets!

(Submitted by Abi )

Terry, is it true, you're not rude? Damn......

(Submitted by Terry )

I don't know HOW these rumours get started...

(Submitted by Abi )

Phew - what a relief! BTW - I've got one of those hats with earflaps.....

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

Do French people in Wisconsin wear Roquefort cheese hats?

(Submitted by Sparky )

I believe they're "head" cheese hats...

(Submitted by Chiq )

Well, I do believe we've been told off... and I feel better now. Kind of like getting a good burp out... y'all know what I mean? Susie, can you send me one of those Wisconsin French cheese hats? Maybe one with some GV STORAGE in the ear flaps?

(Submitted by "bitch slap" lieu )

i thought i'd seen the last of tjd last time i wiped. maybe i outta start flushing too. the one good thing about him - he does make us feel awfully intelligent. you'll have to excuse me... i'll be back later butt i'm chuckling too hard to type now. chuckle? okay, it's less than a knee slap butt more than a guffaw.

(Submitted by in lieu of reed )

p.s. he is the only person i know that probably molested his parents when he was a kid. gives a hole knew connotation to the term "child abuse". me thinks he's taking this "tis better to give" thing a bridge too far.

(Submitted by hefty pickens (slim's kfc challenged brother) )

suz, you've obviously been using the 8 roll to achieve that level. can you spare a square?

(Submitted by joseytreat )

RIP derek's website of walmart ceets (i'm calling it official after the april 30th ceet)

(Submitted by joseytreat )

it all started after derek bought the emperor's new groove

(Submitted by buddie )

does walmart sell maps? i wanna move to kilo, hawaii.

(Submitted by Robert Blake )

Hey Timmy...wanna go out to dinner with me?

(Submitted by frommage conniseur )

you know, cheese is notorious for absorbing background odors. from wot i've seen of most wisconsin guys, aside from making cheese their free time is spent ice fishing, listening to packer talkradio and drinking prodigious amounts of beer. my cheese actually does smell like a fat guy beer fart. coincidence?

(Submitted by Taylor )

"Get your pause off me you dirty stinking Timmy." MENSA!

(Submitted by escapade )

Coming back to toss around a few more chill pills....obviusly the first dose didn't do it. BTW - love that libedex sitre Abi. Great pix - I can see how a few of those items may add to the theatrics of an otherwise hum drum sex life! Diggin the HH and theunisex catsuit

(Submitted by Abi )

can I have one of those little square cardboardy ones with a picture of a nanner on the front please.

(Submitted by Mustapha Dick )

Timmy, stop.

(Submitted by escapade )

square cardboardy ones?.... WTF

(Submitted by Remote )

*click* "Check out the torque on that shaft." *click*

(Submitted by 'za frenchman )

wot are all you silly wisconsian kaaaaaaaniggets doing here? go away. your mothers were mooses and your fathers smaelt like ice fishermen's buttockses.

(Submitted by peppy la'pew )

come here my little ice fisherman buttox. oooh, mon cheri! mi amore, mi amore!

(Submitted by Squint Eastwood )

Hey Kelly, are you an Eastwood fan? Why don't you name your son "Hero"? Okay, mebbie not.

(Submitted by susie )

So is there an export market out there , a window of opportunity for the cheese hat thing? I mean , would Wisconsin people go for that?

(Submitted by :^ )

I'd buy a cheesehead hat if it came trimmed with badger balls and lined with Robin feathers with maybe a wood violet or two on top.

(Submitted by that exhausted me! )

It sure does take alot to make lieu look smart.

(Submitted by Everybody )

But it doesn't take much to make you look stupid.

(Submitted by lieu )

timmy, "alot" is not a word. try "a lot" next time. question: does your gun fire ANYTHING other than blanks?

(Submitted by fires fine, thanks )

That's how hard it was to make you look anything less than absolutely retarded and immature! Realizing that that was a rhetorical question, only a queer would even ask. But back to what we were talking about, we can all look stupid, it's only through effort and posturing that we achieve "wit" and intelligence on a message board type deal. To put it in plain third grade English for you, I don't care how I come across, I am me. You care, but all the posturing in the world doesn't cover your idiocy and gayness. (Then you attribute your attributes to me)

(Submitted by Abi )

So you ARE a third grader, that's explains everything.

(Submitted by lieu, you can say wif and wot, but god forgive anyone try to say alot )

As, read more carefully, it says "for you", a clear implication that lieu is a third grader. You knew that, but acting more ignorant than you are makes you feel better for some reason.

(Submitted by Anyway, my shit smells like fresh leather )

shit! That was supposed to "Abs", but i was thinking what an ass people can make of themselves.

(Submitted by tracie the ant )

interesting use of forgive instead of forbid, eh?

(Submitted by Anne )

Go for the Wal-mart Gold brother!!!Long live Walmart receipts!!

(Submitted by Abby )

God Damn Darek dont have enough cash? Im getting tired of seeing your Visa everywhere!

(Submitted by Wal Mart Associate )

Derrick, Do you have any messenger's I would Love to chat w/ you? A Associate at Wal-Mart

(Submitted by Dave )

I wonder how much you pay each year on tax.

(Submitted by brenda )

Taxes ? We don't pay no stinking taxes