2 December 2000



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Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Chiquita )

*FIRST POSTER RUMBA* Everybody dance!!!!

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Hey, a DUSTER. Ahhh, the memories, my first car was a 1976 DUSTER. I must say Derek, at $2.97, you got ripped off.

(Submitted by Terry )

you are a sad prick

(Submitted by Princess )

With a 40 watt bulb why even clean ?

(Submitted by Johnny 5 )

5 is alive!

(Submitted by Chiq )

That was clearly not "our" Terry. How dare that guy soil a perfectly good name. *spit shining Terry's name back to its former lovely self*

(Submitted by Jennifer )

nNnNnNnNnNnNnNnNnNnNnNnNnNnNnN nNnNnNnNnN...hah! new keyboard, no problemo.

(Submitted by Jennifer )

GEL! OK, now what? I shouted GEL.

(Submitted by Phurge Bones )

Hey if you can shop online anytime at walmart.com, why doesn't derek do this? It would save time in posting his receipts to the web. Maybe this site could go interactive with readers offering real-time purchase advice.....

(Submitted by germaniac )

Still no christmas items, a full week into the season!!! What's up my man? P.S. Thanks for the KITTY TREAT Chiq! It makes me want to shout GEL!

(Submitted by pandora )

This is such a crazy sight. yeh intreaging i must say to know what someone i will never meat bought at a store i have never been to. i have been impressed. But i must ask why a duster? step into the modern era. vaccume cleaners, the way to go.

(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal )

As I have said a few times ... Derek sure is a clean guy! What a pleasure :o) Hi Chiquita babe ... my first car was a Demon! ALMOST the same thing eh? Great to see you still here and clever as ever!!! *rumba rumba rumba*

(Submitted by ChiqcaN.Cal too )

Suz, a Demon, huh? Don't those things shout GEL when you least expect it? I'm wonderin' if the AUTO DISH TA is for the Plymouth DUSTER... By the way, I've heard of raining cats & dogs, but showers of CURTA... is that anything like hail?

(Submitted by Abi )

Yay Jennifer - you got your n's back !!!! *GEL* at Chiq, Germy & Suz - morning girls!! Anyone want to play on the cookie sheet with me..!?

(Submitted by Jeffrey Dahmer )

Now you're learning m'boy. Put the shower curtain down BEFORE you start to chop 'em up and it doesn't leave such a mess. Later I'll teach you some refrigeration techniques to maintain optimum freshness. And so what if I'm dead, we got copmuters down here...

(Submitted by Terry )

Wonder what happened to the old SHOWER CURTA? Reminds me of taking my dog "Stains" to the vet...he hates to go, and I just have to shout repeatedly "Come Stains" until he shows up...mebbe I shoulda named him GEL. Abi, I'd love to play with ya, butt my fat, hairy arse is still wedged in the handlebars. And thanks to Chiq for unsullying me...want a fried nanner? It's still hot.

(Submitted by Mopar proud )

Derek is trading up -- a DUSTER is just a souped-up Volare. Vroom vroom! Maybe he got the Road Runner decals, a barefoot-shaped gas pedal, and the welded-chain steering wheel, too....

(Submitted by melon )

there is no farm land.

(Submitted by Fusion )

HUHUHUHUH Maybe Someone Should Go Shopping At Porn Stores And Start Posting Receipts.

(Submitted by Baron von Stupfnagel )

Kinder, Kirche, Kuche

(Submitted by JIGGA )

Fuck you people have no life, go to www.nutz.org

(Submitted by Jennifer )

We don't have your marvelous vocabulary either, JIGGA, but we do have good friends, and that supercedes a "life" anytime. Think about it, and count YOUR friends. I'll bet you don't need the other hand.

(Submitted by CHICKYY )

ok~ if ya got a 40 watt bulb u dont bother cleanin with ure new DUSTER, the bulbs gonna show dust. o i cant 4get, u must have no life if u post all ure reciepts on the web!!

(Submitted by Fanny Artichoke )

This may well be the first time Derek has ever received $10.93 in change from WalMart. You can't believe how thrilled I am.

(Submitted by The Man )

Hmmm, a cookie sheet...

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Lysol, carpet cleaner, duster, bleach??? Did the housewarming (see BBS) mean you had to clean the place out first?

(Submitted by Eeek )

cookie sheet....edible linen.....there's a bad joke I should apologize for....

(Submitted by Abi )

Hey Terry - perhaps we could try the SHOUT GEL as a lubricant, and see if that'll shift your ass?! Otherwise, you'll just have to stay put!

(Submitted by Terry )

Beats using the COOKIE SHEET, I guess...just make sure you let go of my CARPET CLNR first...Hey Jennifer, that's a well thought out, coherent, sensible statement you made...Are you OK?

(Submitted by Abi )

Well Terry - Jennifer sobered up pretty quick once I explained the picnic thing to her, she hasn't been the same since.....

(Submitted by Grass Hopper )

Listen not to the vain words of empty tongues !

(Submitted by Terry )

So the 40WTBULB finally lit up, huh...*GEL*

(Submitted by Abi )

Jennifer, Chiq - can you give us a hand here - I just can't get Terry's fat backside out of these handlebars - pass the SHOUT GEL please...oh, Jennifer did you bring that glove Chiq gave you?

(Submitted by Chiqca )

*reaching arms out willingly* Abi-cakes, I'm game for pretty much anything that involves Terry's ass. Here, I brought this 10W40 OIL X from the toaster box... Will it help?

(Submitted by Terry )

Careful with that oil ladies...this ain't summer camp y'know.

(Submitted by lieu )

one time i got too hot after eating some dough and took a cookie sheet. thanks for the treat chiq. i did bat it around for awhile but finally ate it. jeen, i twas beginning to enjoy your old key bored so. this will take some getting used to. looks like derek might be cleaning up for a date coming by. also looks like he prefers blondes.

(Submitted by in lieu of small talk )

i used to have a nice feather duster at home. when a date would come over i'd pull it out and ask "tickle your ass with a feather?" if they smiled, great. but if they just gave me a look of brutal horror, i'd again quip "i said, isn't this nasty weather?"

(Submitted by Abi )

lieuy lieuy - you've been quiet - how're you?? I think Jennifer's n's are a definite improvement!!

(Submitted by germaniac )

GELLLLLL!!!!!! Gooood morning folks, it's monday december 4th and I've been married for six years!!!!

(Submitted by buschic )

hmmmm. a duster? what next a PHAMTON Vac that dont work? I LOVE S.V.G

(Submitted by in lieu of "o" )

i'm not sure i agree abi because, as a guy, i did kinda relish the fact she couldn't say "no"...

(Submitted by lieu )

congratulations germey! now when you get the "7 year itch" next year, let me know and i'll call rudy, the german mr. mechanic-divemaster. he'll get your bouyancy regulated and yank your timing chain properly *wink*

(Submitted by the kingsman )

or, i'll tell you... ol' terry might be one to contact if you're looking for a guy that knows how to use a power tool to help get something off the ground. you ought to meet him in vegas because he has had a hot hand lately.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Hey Everybody! Happy LYSL DEO CLN! Now that I've paid homage to the LYSL DEO and have performed the CARPET CLN dance with the ceremonial DUSTER and French maid's outfit and planted the 40WTBULB (wow, was that one heavy bulb, or what! I thought I would *never* fit it in) I feel certain all will be well! Oh dear, looks like I accidentally left a little SHOUT GEL on the COOKIE SHEET...*furrowed brow*

(Submitted by Dally )

Did someone say "power tool"?

(Submitted by Hummingbird )

I just love my city! Yay NYC!! Gonna go now and play with make-up at Sephora...it's like a big candy store for girls. Plus too, if you live in NYC you can wear the craziest hats....man o man you should see what I am wearing today. I am outta control!

(Submitted by harry reams )

shout gel? for a sore throat maybe? is that what linda lovelace used?

(Submitted by Cheech )

Curious, a COOKIE SHEET, but no cookie dough. Is it actually for cookies, or for cleaning the seeds out of this years harvest? (y'know, the POT SOIL stuff)

(Submitted by tommy chong )

cheech, is that you?

(Submitted by Dave )

Cheech?...Cheech ain't here...

(Submitted by puff daddy )

this is like ve ja doodoo...

(Submitted by dick wong )

i'd like a wing and a prayer, please.

(Submitted by germaniac )

Ah so. I've got a wing and thigh...extra crispy, will that do?

(Submitted by Tick Boy )

That reminds me of the shoe salesman with a lisp, got fired for trying to look up a female customers "thighz"

(Submitted by land of the rising pun )

i thought thighz wasn't suppossed to matter, or is that just in japan?

(Submitted by colonel sanders )

baby got back! (extra krispy)

(Submitted by david koresh )

original or extra krispy?

(Submitted by Sparky )

Speaking of chicken legz...Oh Jenni-fer...

(Submitted by not sparky )

huh? what did i miss?

(Submitted by Chiq )

Is that a chicken leg in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

(Submitted by turkey leg )

cluck, cluck

(Submitted by thecookiecrumbler )

GGGEEELLLL! *happily crumbling up the cookie sheet*

(Submitted by APG )

Damn, is it beer-thirty yet?

(Submitted by Betty Crocker )

Yippppeeeeeeeee.... time to start making the Christmas Cookies... I wonder if he already has the red and green sprinkles...

(Submitted by Mr. Mattel )

... and a 40 watt bulb... just perfect! I hope that cookie sheet is small enough to fit into the Easy Bake Oven.

(Submitted by Jennifer )

Ringraziarlo Terry, faccio la multa giusta. bacia adesso mio come

(Submitted by Jennifer )

what the hell was that. ok, no more of this italian stuff. i like my box, it keeps me warm and fuzzy. we gotta go now.

(Submitted by BRSRKR )

None of my business, but did you know that these are the exact ingredients to build a rocket propelled grenade?

(Submitted by JP )

na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, SHOUT GEL!!!

(Submitted by Eeek )

*looks at BRSRKR's post*.....I think MacGyver posted here....

(Submitted by Ultra_Violent )

what's the point of this ? I dont understand.. recipes??? help!

(Submitted by Casey )

Letting off a little Steam there, JP?

(Submitted by Abi )

Hey Chiq - do your nanners shout *GEL* like Jennifer's?? Very witty Casey...

(Submitted by Starfrit )

With all that cleaning stuff, I say that Derek got a new girlfriend and he invited her to a crazy night, so everythig's got to be cleaned up

(Submitted by J. Dahmer )

Well, you're KINDA right...

(Submitted by Abi )

Jennifer di Hey, lei vuole all'azione una scatola di vino con me?

(Submitted by Coach )

Damn, she's busy this morning, but I'll take some of that...whatever it is...will we be needing CARPET CLNR?

(Submitted by Abi )

Definitely Coach....especially after a whole one....better bring a mop too.

(Submitted by Chiq )

Could someone please offer translation services for us Italian-challenged people. Abi, I have yet to see a nanner shout GEL, but I have seen quite a few nanners shout PAY ATTENTION TO ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by in lieu of coastals )

me thinks the "di vino con me" sounds interesting. you guys want to enjoy a napa together?

(Submitted by Bubba )

Y'all are gonna enjoy an auto parts store?

(Submitted by Abi )

Chiq - I thought I'd ask Jennifer if she wanted to share a wine box with me!! I think she must be sleeping off last night's still!!

(Submitted by Terry )

Yeah, and she told me to kiss her ass. Either that, or she's got a face full of that last word...

(Submitted by Ponytail )

Does anybody else have that damn na na na na song rattling around in their head now? Damn...GO AWAY.

(Submitted by thecookiecrumbler )

yo gusto mucho los cookies encrumblados

(Submitted by Abi )

yeah ponytail, that and lieuy lieuy - I can't stop singing either of them!!!

(Submitted by in lieu of off )

are you sure je69ifer isn't sleeping ON last night's still? and what's wrong wif lieuy lieuy? it's better than thinking of achy breaky heart, right?

(Submitted by Ponytail )

Great...Thanks...*don't tell my heart...*

(Submitted by My Achy Breaky Heart )

I just don't think I'd understand.

(Submitted by get a man's haircut, okay? )

was that wannabe the king of mulletards or what?

(Submitted by Abi )

there's nothing wrong with lieuy lieuy, I LOVE it - I just can't stop singing it......

(Submitted by kingsman )

mmmm, good. one of my favorite albums is, of course, abi road...

(Submitted by Billy Ray )

Huh?

(Submitted by O.J. )

Yo, Der, mind if I borrow some of your bleach and carpet clnr?

(Submitted by Holmes )

One of my favorite pastimes is Abi Rode.

(Submitted by grumbly germaniac )

Stupid boss...making me do stupid work...making me miss out on Wal Mart fun...*grumble* ...GELLL!!!!!!...*grumble*

(Submitted by Terry )

Just remember germy...boss spelled backwards is double S.O.B.

(Submitted by in lieu of normal noses )

i tought it twas Secretly Sniffing Other's Behinds.

(Submitted by In search of a new nomen )

Wagga Wagga

(Submitted by agent )

40 watts!?!?!! what do you think this is, a tanning salon!!!!

(Submitted by Jennifer )

Well, You know you make me wanna SHOUT GEL! Kick my heels up and SHOUT GEL! Throw my hands up and SHOUT GEL! Throw my head back and SHOUT GEL! Come on now, Don't forget to say you will SHOUT GEL! Don't forget to say, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Submitted by JP )

duz you mine if we dance wif yo dates

(Submitted by Barry O'Keefe )

Well, well, Jennifer,you're channelling the Wild One. I wanted to type up that song, but I couldn't remember the lyrics after 'kicking up heels'. I prescribe a full ICAC investigation.

(Submitted by Chiq )

GEL!

(Submitted by Dalliance )

LEG!! I mean GEL!! Hey Chiqs, Abi, Jen, Terry, lieu, Balmain, etc. Have a swell day! Hey Big D!

(Submitted by Dally )

oh god...i forgot Germaniac...hey, G. Do you have any band-aids?

(Submitted by in lieu of blotter paper )

everyone kneeds one cept jeen.

(Submitted by germaniac )

*sobbing*, it's always the germans that get the shaft. I need a snog and a kitty treat

(Submitted by Abi )

Big snogz all 'round!! Hi Dal and y'all.....

(Submitted by in lieu of common scents )

you know, the holidays really confuse the hell out of me. i mean, for christmas it's considered appropriate for one member of a household to drag a small pine tree inside and plop it in the middle of the living room while passing, at the exact same time, another member of the same household dragging electric lights outside to string atop the remaining trees and the house. then, on the fourth of july when we should be taking turns sitting inside the fridge cooling off we're instead outside in the heat watching, what else, fireworks. and labor day... that's when nobody works, right? i mean, where's the sensibility in al this reside? jeez, do you think that during thanksgiving, when my wife is busy shoving dressing up into the turkey's butt, that i'm suppossed to, at the same time and in like manner, be pulling some fowl creature out of my own ass? maybe i'm just darn slow but all this implies that we are, pray tell, celebrating what exactly?

(Submitted by lieu 2 )

and don't say the comming of christ or you'll prove my point exactly.

(Submitted by Andre )

'allo

(Submitted by eric )

wow.....wow......wow.....did i say wow?

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

YES I THINK THE BLEACH WILL HELP YOU GET OUT THE STAIN!

(Submitted by Eric Stone )

SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!SHOUT GEL!!!!!!! SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!SHOUT GEL!!!!!!! SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!SHOUT GEL!!!!!!! SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!SHOUT GEL!!!!!!!

(Submitted by Jon Jacobi )

Well, it looks like you got your work cut out for you during this holiday season. I'd say you have some serious cleanig to do. You are obviously trying to brighten up your home in more than one way. I hope your shower curtain looks good and your cookies taste good.

(Submitted by Jon Jacobi )

Well, it looks like you got your work cut out for you during this holiday season. I'd say you have some serious cleanig to do. You are obviously trying to brighten up your home in more than one way. I hope your shower curtain looks good and your cookies taste good.

(Submitted by Jon Jacobi )

P.S. I'm sure you are not doing this because you had a party last night and puked in the shower spilled on your shirt and carpet and knocked over a lamp.

(Submitted by Potsey )

Laundry Time Potsey