4 June 2000



<< back     list all     next >>

Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by val)

He was at Wally World for the big magazine story, and this was the big dent in his Visa account? God please let it be a debit card. At least his breath was minty fresh.

(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal)

hey Val .. at least he is a clean guy!! *grin*

(Submitted by melon)

damn it! why does nobody write a story about me? im intersting... ive got lots of stuff to say, life just isn't fair.

(Submitted by Duck_Man)

Lysol AND Mouthwash? Hmmmm Why not go down to the 7-11 and pick up a 6-pack - it's probably better for you, but won't give you pine- fresh/minty-fresh breath!

(Submitted by ANONYMOUS)

WAL-MART ROCKS!! I WORK THERE AND THEY GET MOST OF MY PAYCHECKS!!! GOTTA LOVE OUR DISCOUNT. KEEP UP THE KEWL SITE.

(Submitted by Wally's Girl)

Sheesh I just found this site yesterday, read all the receipts...and now find out you're going commercial.

(Submitted by uglymullet)

I just don't know ... the old receipts v's these new fangdangle ones?? just dunno if I can adjust to the change ...

(Submitted by Ex-SavOn Man)

Oh man. Somebody tell them to change the footer about the book release. It's done and over with!! Damn WalMart, keep up!! This blatant disregard for headers and footers on the recepits has got to stop. Finally they get a great header but the footer is outdated!!! *sigh*

(Submitted by terry)

Derek, You should be ashamed of yourself. 1627 has been with you from the very beginning, stuck with you thru the good times and the bad, always faithful to you. And now another store with newer, firmer, younger equipment has tempted you to stray. Although an occasional dalliance (sorry) has become acceptable these days, please don't desert your old faithful companion...

(Submitted by Dalliance)

*grinning at Terry* Otherwise, I am speechless. All this is happening so fast! Derek standing on a checkout lane...the new chichi receipts. I need a shoulder to lean on...where is not Emo when I need him??

(Submitted by Dalliance)

I wonder if the lane belt was moving? I can see it now - Derek with a barcode on his butt. Wonder if he is taxable? Ohhhhh....maybe Derek could be *MY* new chore boy!!

(Submitted by Anon)

Wal-Mart is great for somethings, especially your trusted brands. But buy a brand you don't trust, and DAMN! They sure take a hit out of your wallet. I bought some Crest the other day, after being a long-time Colgate buyer and they cleaned me out! It's kind of scary though, how do they know which brands I trust. Watch out for the black Wal-Mart heli

(Submitted by Anon)

copters...

(Submitted by terry)

I agree Anon...I had a friend who bought a couple of off brand mattresses from WAL*MART a while back, and she got screwed on BOTH of them.

(Submitted by Yat)

Wow... I leave for three months and the receipts are hardly recognizable. What happened to Matt? And is Derek still taking tons of photos? Oh, this is all too much to take on a Monday.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Man, Anon, that Crest story really got to me. Are you, like, okay? Are you sleeping again yet? Yat, I'll catch you up. Matt is still around (see 6/1 receipt). I'm afraid Derek is still double dipping. It's absolutely dizzying - 1627, 1581, 1627, 1581...the man is a total menace. He has definitely slowed down on the film processing (he hasn't bought any bras or stockings in a long time either - don't know if the two are corollated or not) We think the cat died and he seems to have eased up on the Scott's soil and the pooh panties. Apparently, he's launched into this strange post-modern, artistic phase. We are all watching that development with 'baited' breath (see dismembered carp 6.1.00)...hahaha...Whoa, that was a good one. I just crack myself up sometime.

(Submitted by 4shame)

oh sure get free press for darryl's store, after all that matt has done for you! you should be bopped on the head with an indwelling book (slut)

(Submitted by Foo-Dawg)

Phatty D this site is gonna be in a magazine. I've only known about it for like 3 hours but it's awesome can't wait to pick up my copy of Shift!

(Submitted by flusher)

and for so long I thought I was the only person who had a thing for Wal*Mart *sniff*, I'm getting choked up. Thank you everybody!

(Submitted by Betsy)

Yo, Derek! Just make sure you don't store the mouthwash and the lysol in the same place - lest you mix them up!

(Submitted by melon)

if you could make a mouthwash with any taste you want, what would it be? mine would be petrol flavord. to get that new car feeling every day.

(Submitted by lexic0n)

dalliance raises some excellent questions. are derek's bra purchases in the past correlated with other purchases? how long has it been since we've seen dri- bottoms or scotts soil on his receipts? the receipt database (suggestions for names, anyone?) is nearing completion every day. soon, all these questions will be answered!

(Submitted by polack)

lexicon's suggestion for names.... the obvious is "lexicon's big database of derek's walmart receipts" although a more fitting name is "yet another site by a guy with too much free time on his hands and made for people with way too much time on their hands". Since the former title is wordy, you can use the anagram "yasbagwtmftohhamfpwwtmtoth.com"

(Submitted by wow)

just make sure you buy a copy of that magazine at wal*mart, ok? twist our crooked lil' minds even more

(Submitted by james)

i want to hear more about the girl who got screwed on both mattresses!

(Submitted by Anon)

She was a very tall girl.....

(Submitted by Dalliance with the Inquiry Mind)

Oh, that just reminded me of something. Ya'll remember when Derek bought all those trojans and the nite time cold medicine? It was Jan.29, back in 1999. So, Terry, when did your tall friend get her mattresses?

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Inquiry = Inquiring

(Submitted by acequia)

Geez, Derek, you buy $5.16 worth of stuff and put in on your VISA? Have you ever heard of something called "cash"? Have you seen the new five dollar bills? They couldn't be uglier!

(Submitted by mary)

ever play the walmart game? you go to walmart with your friends, and you get 1 point for each person that you see that you know. if you know the same people, it's who sees them first. .. what the hell else would you do in a podunk town like we live in???

(Submitted by George)

Damn! If that isn't the sexiest receipt I've ever seen! Hot, Hot, HAWT!

(Submitted by walmartsucks)

What the fuck is your problem. You must have a great life if you run a website on Wal-Mart receipts. For you information Wal-Mart is a spreading virus that is infecting or society. Which I have numerous instances to back that up with. (1) Approximently 2 years ago, I walked into my local Wal-Mart to buy "X-Files: The Movie" on vhs. I was checkign out and the bitch cashier asked if I was 17. Which I wasn't and I didn't understand why this mattered since the movie was PG-13. Well, according to Wal-Mart policy you had to be 17 years of age to buy this movie. I still did not understand their reasoning. You can be 12 and get into a movie theatre to see PG-13 movies. (2) At my local Super Wal-Mart in our quiet rural town, a 13 year old boy was molested by a pedafile. (3) While shopping at Wal- Mart or in my case,making fun of the dirty people, you see some of the ugliest people that should have never left their beaten up trailor and their family in which incest has occurred. **Note after effects of incest are not pretty. So on a final note, if your life revolves around Wal-Mart good for you. At least I WILL be successful, have a wife to come home to and fuck, and be collecting stocks instead of Wal-Mart receipts.

(Submitted by Pigeonhole)

Man you sure are keen for Wal- Mart. I bet you are going to be on the next Wal-Mart commercial like that fat bastard who ate a Subway sandwich everyday for like a year. Just a note: Normal people, when they go to a store, make some sort of list (written or mental) so they don't have to keep going back to the store every 3 days. I bet you've got your eye on one of the cashiers or something so you go there all the time hoping he/she will eventually notice you (or ask you to stop stalking them). I'm sorry, but I want the 5 MINUTES back that this site took from my life. You could at least try to spice it up by buying (or getting receipts for) items like butcher knives, giant (body- bag sized) garbage bags and stain remover.

(Submitted by not Emo)

Val - I get the part about how you are better than the rest of us. The remainder is a little fuzzy. I don't think it has been scientifically proven that there is a connection between Wal*Mart, viruses, and incest. As for ugly people, the ugliest people I've seen are those that make fun of others. Dalliance - Sorry I wasn't there for you! In the future, you can lean on my shoulder (or any other appendage) anytime you want. Derek - Has Jay Leno called yet?

(Submitted by AprilW)

So, Mr. Fancy Pants is going *Big Time* huh? Just don't forget all us little people who got you there Mister!!!!

(Submitted by Blessedman)

Sheesh there are alot of bored people in this world! It just goes to prove that boredum is the birth place for revolutions... I can't believe that we don't have the Wal*cam, the 24hour check out line cam at wal*mart, they are sitting on a fortune.

(Submitted by Matt Kreig)

Nice site, but would you please be able to remove my name from the receipts on which it is? Thank you.

(Submitted by jerkmo)

don't get those two mixed up. Your the man, this website is the money.

(Submitted by melon)

i have another question. if you could run really fast, like up to lightspeed, where would you run? i would run next to peoples cars on the highway and talk to them. i bet you can meet some very intresting people that way.

(Submitted by nirv)

Customers suck ass. I wanna see those pictures of you on the lane, though. I'm a cashier, and if you ask me "ARE YOU OPEN?" I WILL drop a shotgun out my sleeve and take care of yo ass. >:(

(Submitted by Jon Kaplan)

I am so sorry. It is good to see how dreadful the American consumer culture actually is. You people are so dreadfully sub-human. In-breeding rules

(Submitted by melon)

you know, i get this weird feeling, like people are ignoring me... do you know what i mean?

(Submitted by brian flay)

I once got drunk on mouthwash. The beerstore was closed so I went to the macs milk and bought 5-6 mouthwash bottles and drank them. I have to say I was pretty much drunk by the third bottle. I suggest this method. The best thing about it is your farts smell like mint after

(Submitted by DAN TURCOTTE)

When I was a boy my mom used to make milkshakes out of cheese whiz and milk she put a cup of milk in the blender then a scoop of cheese whiz . If we were really lucky she would put some corn in nad maybe crutons.

(Submitted by Thomas Grimes)

werd...

(Submitted by Dalliance)

OMGGGGG!!! MATT KRIEG was here! Matt, We love you, man!!! You have a whole fan club here!! not Emo, you are so cool and class is such a total turn-on! Pigeonhole, (how apropros) you scare me. And Val, dude, did they not teach, like, basic logic at your high school? I wouldn't jump right into e-trading if I were you. People, don't be disrespecting Derek. You shouldn't hate him because he's beautiful. melon, I think you very well may be a genius.

(Submitted by Legal Notice)

Hey nirv, I hope you are aware that it is a felony offense to make life-theatening statements over the internet.

(Submitted by toonces)

Lucas, this is Lestat. I've got your mother.

(Submitted by Anon)

What is really sad is the fact that I have more receipts since the first of 2000, than you have for the last 3 years! I need help...

(Submitted by ???)

Do you have a mental problem or something??? You are seriously FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by ???)

What a fucking STUPID layout!! The messages should apear on top for ease of reading for your regular viewers, if you have any. Personnally, I think you are wasting so much time by putting your head up your ass that you will never get it out!

(Submitted by Target)

FUCK SAM WALTON! TARGET KICKS WAL-MART's ASS!!!

(Submitted by ???)

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! TARGET RULES!!!!!!!!!!! WAL-MART SUCKS SERIOUS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE THE INTERNET AND NEVER COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO HOME! GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by AprilW)

One word......MEDICATION!!!

(Submitted by AprilW)

and that was for the potty mouthed individual above me there.

(Submitted by Jane Austen)

Lucas, this is Jane Austen and I have your father's boyfriend. He keeps asking for Jon Kaplan ???

(Submitted by hello)

I was brought here by www.dailyradar.com and I must say that you have a very interesting site. I think you should not be so cheap and shell out the 35-70 bucks for a dot com name and a real web host

(Submitted by Spyderella)

Found you on <a href="http://www.metafilter.co m/">Metafilter</a>-- congratulations. Interesting meme, interesting creation of community. Boy, if the IRS ever decides to audit you, you are so Teflon. ^_^

(Submitted by evil333)

MAN WAL MART ROCKS and all but i fill bad for all the the poor red necks that live out in the boon dogs when wal mart is the only place to shop poor red necks =(

(Submitted by jimmy)

Lysol doesn't rhyme with Scope

(Submitted by !MARCELO!)

!READ!! Illing This site is dope. DEREK; How old are you?

(Submitted by Ralph W.)

i once ate a booger that came out of my nose. it taste like chivken.

(Submitted by mX)

In the future, we will be able to eat our receipts. They will taste like candy canes and will be composed of mostly vitiman C. I can tell you this because I can see through sapace and time. Oh, and the evil vampire penguin told me so. That too.

(Submitted by Sam)

Congratulations Derek, you just got some major publicity from dailradar.com. I got news of the site there, and I must say I love it. You should put up a counter that counts the hits you get. Keep up the good work

(Submitted by Behrang)

I like the site but why walmart. You should take a trip to kmart all in the name of love. :-)

(Submitted by uglymullet)

It's been 5 DAYS!!! C'mon c'mon c'mon .... Buy sooooommethiiiiiiingggggg

(Submitted by poopants)

how about a running total of all receipts - now THAT would be a web site.

(Submitted by greg)

The pink flamingoes travel west to the purple corn marsh entering into a conflict with the hairless hippo's. I THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING THIS WEB SITE FOR THE MENTALLY INSANE. I ENJOY THE READING OF YOUR COMMENTS WHILE RUBBING ONE OFF!!! VERY SOON, VERY VERY SOON WE WILL AGAIN BE VICTORIOUS IN OUR QUEST TO CONQUER THE EVIL HAIRLESS HIPPO EMPIRE!!!

(Submitted by Anomie)

okay ... 5 days... this is getting painful! I NEED MORE RECEIPTS!!!!!!! more mindnumbing fun!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by RockyDil)

So...too cheap to go to the liquor store, eh?

(Submitted by amy)

ok...wow some peole jus dont have a life...like me...how the hell did i get here again?

(Submitted by Chiquita)

Melon- we're not ignoring you. We just think you need therapy.

(Submitted by Chiquita)

Melon- Don't take that the wrong way-- I mean it in the nicest possible way. Also, I don't think Lucas really has parents.

(Submitted by melon)

well, i had parents, and they tried to send me to therapy, and i killed them... the stupid bastards... well, that okay, as long as i can talk, i don't really care if anyone hears me. blah, blah, blah...

(Submitted by Chiquita)

Melon- please!!!!!!!! Get help & come back to us.

(Submitted by Hans Christian Anderson)

I want to see just how often people check this site. The date is June 9, 2000, the time is 9:51am PST. Someone post back with the date and time in your neck of the woods and we'll see just how often people check for updates. Word to herb.

(Submitted by I am the one with the longest name. My name is longer than all the rest. If I were a tree, I'd be a redwood. If I were a porn star, I'd be John Holmes. If I were a car, I'd be a fucking Lincoln, that's how long my name is.)

But my post is small.

(Submitted by Chiquita)

To Hans C.A.- Wow. What a coincidence. It's the same time where I am!!! What time is it where Derek is???

(Submitted by Dalliance)

If you were a brain you'd be a long flat line. *cute lil' grin*

(Submitted by Chiquita)

Dalliance- I know you're not talking to me!

(Submitted by polack)

is www.dailyradar.com a site featuring MASH info? Why are they linking to Derek. Did you know Radar was missing a finger? Watch the reruns and see how he holds his clipboard to hide it, or his hands are in his pockets, or he's wearing gloves. I'm not making this up. Its real. If you don't believe me ask melon he'll back me up.

(Submitted by Wonder Bread)

Why are the Wal*Mart parking lots always such a nightmare? Why does everybody have to go at the same time?

(Submitted by Dalliance)

No way, Chiquita, I was talking to that dude with the small post. By the way, do you know Cheetah? Just curious? And melon, why is he called Cheetah if he is a monkey? And really, where do birds go to die? How come they don't fall out of the sky on your head? I mean where in the hell do they go? Suppose they have a heart attack or something when they are flying? I wish someone smart would explain this to me.

(Submitted by Chiquita)

Dalliance-baby-- is Cheetah the cool-cat who is the "mascot" for Cheetos?? He's a cat, not a monkey.

(Submitted by heather)

I just smoked an entire cigarette while reading this. too funny. There are no wal- marts around here. Just a k- mart that I rarely go to. I spend hours at the checkout and I'm the only one on line.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Chiquita-baby-- no, no I'm referring to Tarzan's friend (not Jane, the Chimp one, ya know, the banana-eater) Oh dear, on second thought that question may be just a mite personal. mea culpa!(trans. - "oops, my bad!")

(Submitted by Miss Ma'am)

June 9. 2000....Hans, dear boy , I started the date thingy last receipt I believe it was. Do you really think the time is necessary? *sigh* Okay. 10:27 pm EDT. Val, dear, That's trailEr not trailOr...just so you won't appear stupid on your next post. :)

(Submitted by melon)

i am talking to god now. he hates me.

(Submitted by Michael Kennedy)

Wow. You guys are nutcases. I'm definatally going to be back here... :) Derek, you've got an, um, interesting site here.

(Submitted by Paul T.)

whew, made it through all the receipts and 90 percent of the comments. now about these new receipts at Fargo, they're NOT on recycled paper, are they? and to those who asked for a running total, shame on you, if you were reading properly you would knoiw that there WAS a total each December. that's all for me now, thanks and goodbye.

(Submitted by Paul T.)

oh, yeah. and i think i've decide to use prohosting.com to host my scans of pages from my highlighted tv guides. stay tuned...

(Submitted by brenda)

have you been to any canadian wal marts yet?

(Submitted by Secret Agent)

-.. . .-. . -.- -....- -.-- --- ..- .- .-. . .- ...- . .-. -.-- ... . -..- -.-- -- .- -. .-.-.- .. --- -. .-.. -.-- .-- .. ... .... .. .-- .- ... .-- .-. .. - .. -. --. - .... .. ... -- . ... ... .- --. . .. -. .-.. .. .--. ... - .. -.-. -.- --- -. -.-- --- ..- .-. -... . -.. .-. --- --- -- -- .. .-. .-. --- .-. .-.-.-

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Miss Ma'am, I am so glad you pointed out to val the trailer thing...and as long as were there, val, sweetheart, it's pedophile not pedafile which might mislead some to think that there was a person out there who filed feet which would certainly weaken your effulgent argument. Dear God, Derek...feed us!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by melon)

i just thought of somthing. if sombody lives in russia, that person sucks.

(Submitted by Chiquita)

Oh, my dearest melon. God does not hate you. Again, may I STRONGLY suggest therapy? Also melon, Russia does not exist anymore, but if it did, would it have a Wal*Mart?? And Dalliance-baby, I think you might be the cool-cat mascot for Cheetos.

(Submitted by Chiquita)

Derek- puuuuuuhleeeeeze! We're jones-ing for some more material to work with here! Is that how you spell jones- ing???

(Submitted by nirv)

Face it, customers SUCK ASS. It's always the same shit, like WONDER said. Customers are either flooding a place, or there's no one at all. They all come at the EXACT same time out of no where, it's so fake and it pisses me off because they're all the same and they don't even realize it. How the hell can random people out of no where decide they're done shopping now just as everyone else is? UNREALISTIC. And then to top it off, they just feel they have to ask "ARE YOU OPEN?" ARGH! And by the way, FOREIGNS are the worst people to deal with at any type of store, I know you others who work at a store agree. :D

(Submitted by Susie)

Chiquita -Of course Russia still exists, Americans are so arrogant, do you think the rest of the world has nothing better to do than sit here reading your shopping bills???

(Submitted by John Rocker)

nirv - I cudn't agree moore. You are so cool but your name sounds kinda funnie. wear are you from boy? I shure hope it ain't no where theres weirdo peeple wid purpel hare and AIDS an' russian quears...peice, JohnRocker

(Submitted by ~Heather)

OK, so I am not alone in that I have no life when I admit that I just spent the last two hours browsing through Derek's receipts and the comments here. I have to say I was surprised at the number of regulars that post messages here. :-) I am also from Minnesota and I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps there is some type of neurosis common to MN that makes us hang on to our receipts or is this a problem nationwide? At least Derek managed to find to something constructive to do with his. :-)

(Submitted by monkey_shine)

Don't use lysol for mouthwash.

(Submitted by Floyd Pink)

The lunatic is in my head...

(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal)

hmmm ... wondering if Derek went somewhere on vacation ...

(Submitted by Louie "The Pliers" Massinetti)

We bought Derek. He belongs to us now. Starting 6/12 this site will be Pay-Per-View. Where's Emo? He owes us money.

(Submitted by Susie)

Who is Walmart anyway? Europe rules Say no to genetically modified crops,Chicken nuggets Oprah Winfrey and that silly way of wearing your baseball hat the wrong way round

(Submitted by melon)

who here dosnt like boats? boats are cool.

(Submitted by chrissy)

i'm new here....i can't stop reading....i can't stop reading

(Submitted by susie)

Apparently one in three Americans is obese.......

(Submitted by melon)

its no surprise that one in three Americans is obese, since so many of them are so darn FAT.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Thank you, Susie, for enlightening all of us stupid and pathetic Americans. And also for perpetuating the stereotype of "Americans". Yes, we are all imperialistic arrogant fat people whose sole aim in life is to culturally corrupt poor unsuspecting Europeans. I've lived in Europe and, excuse me, but people freaking stand in line for Chicken McNuggets...face it, they can't get enough of them. And if you have better things to do that read our shopping receipts, why are you still here?

(Submitted by Randy)

HALLELUJAH!!! I am cured of my receipt addiction!!! I came back here to prove I can quit anytime... anytime... really , I can quit. Wow, why are people posting on old receipts? Now I have to go back and reread ALL of them. NO NO NO!!! NOT AGAIN HELP ME!!! I'm beginning to think Derek is the Anti-Christ (btw, who won the lizard races?)

(Submitted by xav)

does any one like football???? or should I call it soccer like you strange guys?I suppose not ,you're all in to basket ball and ridiculous games like that!!! Stop me if I am offending you

(Submitted by abdi)

Derek, isn't it time you buy some more deodorant?

(Submitted by Gabrielle)

I'd like to recommend to all of those anxiously awaiting the next receipt a visit to Derek's personal page. He is a very fascinating individual, most creative, with a lot to say. Check it out....while you wait to see what he buys next!!! (my guess is there will be a Mountiain Dew in there somewhere)

(Submitted by TargetGirl)

WalMart sucks nasty ass around here. You should try shopping at a Target. The quality is much better and the people are nicer. No way would the managers get mad at you for standing on the check out stand to take a picture.

(Submitted by susie)

Isn't Matt Krieg the guy who invented the Simpsons?

(Submitted by susie)

Zip a dee doo dah zip a dee day

(Submitted by Ashe)

Name's Ashe, frequent viewer, first-time writer....what if we started a pool to bet on what he buys next? I realize that his purchases don't always make a lot of sense, but like Gabrielle says, "there may be a Mountain Dew in there somewhere." But then again, how would we collect?....okay nevermind....not a great plan after all. But my money's still on Mt. Dew!

(Submitted by Rocco)

I'm hoping Shift catches a glimpse of Derek laying his hairy-wristed paws on some of that Scott's soil. Man that's making me firm.

(Submitted by Rocco)

I hope Shift magazine gets a picture of Derek laying his hairy-wristed paws on a big bag of Scott's soil. Man that's making me hard.

(Submitted by Rocco)

There's an echo in here

(Submitted by Dwayne Fesspicker)

WalMart were obviously wise to the Shift story, hence the receipt quality upgrade. Nice to see their commitment to total quality management.

(Submitted by Melon's melons)

I don't like you anymore Dalliance

(Submitted by Associate of the Year)

ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS!!!! In reply to your question, Wonder Bread, Wal-Mart parking lots are as they are because of, guess what?? THE CUSTOMERS! They're driving around for two hours to get three steps closer to the entrance. There's been a price rollback on common sense this month...now if you will only read the instructions.

(Submitted by xav)

HI !It's me again !!!Can anyone guess how old I am ? Hey MELON instead of talking a whole lot of rubbish don't you think you should get out a bit for some exercise.Because no one cares about your passion for boats

(Submitted by Sid Burn)

Hey dude, trying to get a cheap buzz?

(Submitted by Fess Parker Jnr)

always

(Submitted by Andre)

Hey, Ex SavOn Man, you haven't seen the receipts that have the indenting, boy, that really got my goat up.

(Submitted by Aunt Beru's lame chicken)

Did Terry's friend have any strange rashes, perhaps due to excessive use of sponge tape?

(Submitted by Wakka Wakka)

Buy some beefjerky and Nasal strips next time.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

melon's melons, what did I do?

(Submitted by The taxman )

I think Daryll's store has slipped in a tax increase! Very sneaky.

(Submitted by The taxman )

...plus it looks like Daryll rounds up the tax rather than down. Must be making a tidy little profit there, probably goes towards maintaining the condo.

(Submitted by dee )

You mean you didn't get me anything for my graduation... :( gee

(Submitted by Mister America )

VERY COOL MY FRIEND!! I SEE YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTAND IT YOUR WALMART!!

(Submitted by Byron )

The new graphics on the receipts are snazzy...that "handwritten" ALWAYS is the definition of CUSTOMER SATISFACTION!!!!!!!!!!!! LONG LIVE MATT KRIEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by Angry post from the future )

Ok, there's absolutely no reason I should give a rat's ass, but just for the fun of it I'll respond to several messages at once. Susie: regardless of whether you're kidding or not American capitalism is why you're able to get on the internet in the first place, as well as use most of the other modern conveniences you'll notice around you. So say "thank you america" everytime you get in a car or watch SOCCER on the "tele." To any new poster that says anything similar to "get a life" I can only say that It's been said many times before and no one thinks you're cool or that you really have something happening in your life since that's the best insult your minute intelligence could muster. How many times has anyone asked to interview you unoriginal bastards about your accomplishments? Anyone trying to seem "crazy" by posting random thoughts: it looks exactly like the desparate cry for attention that it is, so keep doing it if you like, but no one is ever going to think you're funny. I'm still waiting for the day Derek buys "Mavis Beacon's Typing Tutor" for some of you and dictionaries for several others. Sorry, yearly vent. What does Always Wal-Mart mean? Are other stores notorious for changing their names randomly and Wal-Mart is promising not to do that?

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

YOUR MEAN! WHY DID YOU DO THAT TOO MATT? AND WHERE IS RYAN? AND THE LINK DON'T WORK!

(Submitted by susieonprozac )

Russia does exist though. And I think Mr Rolls invented the car, and certainly Mr Baird invented the television. I do like johnnie Bravo ......

(Submitted by Lindsey )

YES THE NEW RECEIPTS! THE OLD ONES WERE A PAIN IN THE ASS!

(Submitted by Bob )

But why did Darryl get them first? Was it because he's been there longer than Matt's been at HIS store?

(Submitted by Usagi )

Don't get the Lysol and the mouthwash mixed up. I know what I'm talking about.

(Submitted by gern blandston )

Susie... yes, I am a fat American. But I smell good. Which is more than I can say for you European types. Fuck you.