Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by elmoswife)

OH! Watercolor and pencils. Someones getting creative!

(Submitted by uglymullet)

Is that fish cut up into little pieces ...?? HEY! THE CAT IS STILL ALIVE!!!

(Submitted by uglymullet)

Oh ... hang on, it could mean precut 'carpet' ... that's cheap carpet Der! How much carpet did you buy???

(Submitted by BritishBill)

This is the first reciept to be posted since I found this website, it was very exciting waiting for it, and it didn't disappoint when it showed up.

(Submitted by not Emo)

A very nice receipt. Dark printing, multiple items, no major folds or creases. I give it an 7. BritishBill: Life as you knew it is now over! You have been sucked into the...I don't know exactly what...but you're in it...welcome.

(Submitted by Simon)

Sarah, what can I say but thanks for the URL. My early mornings will never be the same again! I presume due to the relatively low cost of the watercolour (sorry, color) we can assume it's just the ONE color. IS he now entering the blue period in his life I wonder?

(Submitted by melon)

i wonder has this guy ever bought somthing truly meaningfull? in life, you have your simple items, you have your life changing stuff, like the day i bought my lighter, and started burning my own body hair. i wonder, is he a lost soul, drifting in life like a dog in a tornado, or a man with a goal, who can somday rule the world like a god with no mercy?????????????

(Submitted by Alex)

melon, have you read all of them from the beggining? I doubt it because you wouldn't question Derek's meaningful purchases. The day he bought Chore Boy, the huamn skull, the potty... These are days that will stick in my mind forever.

(Submitted by melon)

i could never read them all. i have been cursed, with a lack of power to read lists longer then 1-2 items. i never question anyone who has collected large amounts of anything, be it dead animal roadkills, or wallmart junk. it is our most basic skill as humans.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Very interesting: a mountain dew, cashews, a pre-cut carp and art supplies. Umm..methinks, Derek is going to attempt a still life of a carp (and maybe Shannnon Koch if he can get her away from her register) aided by those notorious creative juice inducers - Mt. Dew and cashew...(see they even rhyme - how artistic is that???). Yep. I'm seeing "Blue Woman with Dismembered Carp" Part One of the "Women with Fish" series. You go, Derek!!

(Submitted by Terry)

Does anyone else wonder whatever became of the racing striped lizard, and the cheap snakes for that matter.

(Submitted by Ex-Pat)

I've lived in Chile now for 8 months. I had no idea I would miss Wal-Mart, but I do! I will live vicariously through you, Derek, until I return!

(Submitted by polack)

Cheer up Ex-Pat! I'm sure there's lots of dismembered carp in Chile. you just need to look a little harder. I'm routing for you!

(Submitted by polack)

I don't mean there's dismembered carp in chili the food, just Chile the country. There may very well be dismembered carp in Slim Jims, but that's another story.

(Submitted by Anomie)

I've begun checking this website every day... I find myself exstatic when there's a new receipt. I'm very scared... We need to start a support group....

(Submitted by lexic0n)

i have the sperfect support group, which should be formed soon. im making a database of all these receipts and their contents, so we can answer all sorts of burning questions (e.g., what checkout lane does derek use the most? what does he buy most often? etc etc...) im about halfway through 1998. im hoping to get the rest done in the next few weeks. i'll let you all know when it's finished...

(Submitted by marislav)

what kind of car do you have. I guess it's a van.

(Submitted by Sam)

You might want to black out out the transaction id & approval numbers. people arent that honest.

(Submitted by Dean Malenko)

CASHEWS!!!!

(Submitted by jussara)

Walmart is my favorite store...and cashews are soooo good.

(Submitted by Fabienne)

An unstable person could stumble upon this site and do something awful to themselves.

(Submitted by Fabienne)

Someone unstable could stumble upon this site and do something bad to themselves.

(Submitted by Fabienne)

A person who was unstable could.......oh, that's K-Mart.

(Submitted by elmoswife)

Derick...Don't you need something from Wal-Mart? Go Man Go!!!

(Submitted by elmoswife)

Derek...Don't you need something from Wal-Mart? Go Man Go!!!

(Submitted by Associate of the Year)

ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS!!!!!! Just because your sister-in-law said she bought it here yesterday means nothing. She probably got it at K-mart or Target. You know how stupid she is.

(Submitted by Miss Ma'am)

June 3, 2000 I don't know Dallience...I see more of a Krafy Craft project here...Cashews colored brightlly with watercolors and glued with Mt. Dew to the carpet of fine virgin wool yarn, hand-dyed for depth and color. The pencil is for chewing...you know how those artists are.

(Submitted by melon)

maybe he plans to burn it all in a big pile, as sacrafice to the mighty gods of HELL and WAL-MART.

(Submitted by Dalliance)

Marislav, Derek has a 'Volare' with an 8-track player installed...if you can ferret out his personal web page (he has, in typical Derek fashion, hidden his URL deep within the contents of this site) you can even see a picture of the ACTUAL Volare name thingie on his car. Pretty exciting, eh? And Miss Ma'am, WOW!...now you are talking Cutting Edge Art and I'm seeing it...yes, yes, But what about the dead fish..I mean jeeze it came all the way from Chile. And all hail, lexicOn, 'Keeper of the Flame'.

(Submitted by abdi)

It's much cheaper and healthier to buy a whole fish and to cut it up yourself

(Submitted by jonny)

how can you go to wal-mart and only spend $10? that is unamerican and impossible. every time i go to wal-mart for a bar of soap, i leave spending $100 on 27 plastic containers with lids, 48 boxes of cereal, 39 packs of toilet paper, 10 cases of Coke (it's the real thing), some JarJar Binks bubblebath, a package of 600 q-tips, 3 videos i will never watch but which only cost $6.44 each, and a melon scoop. derek should have receipt envy, mine are alot longer than his.

(Submitted by not Emo)

There sure are some creative people at this site. Who would have thought you could do so many things with (Submitted by Derek's NY agent)

my God, (Derek) your sister is here!! Hi Erin *waving*. Now, about this art agent thing...I spoke to Mr. Scaachi but the thinks the dismembered carp is just too too Damien Hirst. Figures. However, after I explained what Mountain Dew was he seemed quite taken by the "Blue Nuts on Virgin Wool" I told him you spewed the Mt. Dew out of an orifice (hope you don't mind but they are really into that body as artistic tool thing) *rolling eyes*. Anyway, he said he'd think it over and get back to me. And really, 45% for agents is the going rate these days. I swear.

(Submitted by not Emo)

D. - Step on my lines again, an' I walking off the set.

(Submitted by Derek)

I think I've fixed the problem of the disappearring text...hopefully it won't happen again -- my apologies to anyone who was deleted....

(Submitted by not Emo)

It's not your fault Derek. Dalliance aka Derek's Agent...She did it...agents and parole officers...nothing but trouble!

(Submitted by SuzinN.Calif)

I bet Derek had NO idea what he was actually creating when he started all this. Have been watching a while now. It just keeps growing! I LOVE the reciepts and all the comments they prompt!!!

(Submitted by Dalliance)

*very sad face...wiping a big tear out of the corner of my eye* I didn't mean any harm, honest I didn't. I'm not ever gonna say nothing no more again..ever...*walking away with head hanging down*

(Submitted by not Dalliance)

no..no...don't try and stop me, it's no use. I'm gonna go live in the woods and eat blood worms.

(Submitted by not Emo)

Awh jeeze, Dalliance! All is forgiven. Just don't let your evil twin "The NY Agent" come around here anymore. You'll never make it in the woods. I know. To a New Yorker; wilderness - is a parking lot without lines! Don't try it!

(Submitted by not Emo)

Faux Grilled Cashew Carp `ala Derek 1 cup coarse ground cashews 3/4 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. pepper 4 cups Mountain Dew 2 lb. precut carp fillets 1 oz dark brown watercolor Marinate carp fillets in Mt. Dew overnight Mix: salt, pepper, and ground cashews Remove carp from marinate and drain on paper towels Spread ground cashew mixture on wax paper Work cashew mixture into carp fillets on all sides Use dark brown water color to paint diagonal grill lines on the fillets Bake fillets at 375 degrees for 15 minutes or until fish flakes when poked with a pencil Serve with MD20/20 chilled to 48 degrees

(Submitted by Sammy Walton)

Hello shoppers! My, my... Wal- Mart started out as a twinkle in my eye and now that I am dead I find sites like these. Derek, you are awarded shopper of the 20th century. It is people like you who make me happy to have lived in America. If you keep up the good work then you might make shopper of the millenium. Or should I say "chopper of the millenium". Funny, I don't ever remember selling chopped carp when I was alive, but hey, CUSTOMER SATISFACTION GUARENTEED. <<By the way, Associate of the year, get back to work. I don't give you all those benefits for you to slack off>>

(Submitted by Associate of the Year)

Sammy, Sammy, Sammy....get a grip. I'm keeping the myth ALIVE. I make the difference, man. Read my back. Oh by the way, yesterday...guess what? I took a break and didn't clock out. Are you rolling over yet?

(Submitted by Andre)

Lexic0n and Marco...like sister and brother, they wave to each other...Is there some special tribute we can send to these people? And you know, whatever did happen to that deadset legend Marco? Hmm? Was he overwhelmed by the Scott's soil? Tried to run into the WalMart Fargo store only to be bowled over by an overweight greeter? Marco, we love you, come back, forget about the surgery.

(Submitted by Twinkles)

What about the filters? Did no one ever figure out why he bought so many *filters* and exactly what he was *filtering*? Same question, but substitute *scott soil* in place of *filters*. Again, same question but substitute *photo process*? I'm getting close to the end and these are burning questions!!!!!

(Submitted by Eric Terresticle)

...same question, but substitute *plant saucers*...................... .....

(Submitted by macboysf)

Filters = Fish Filters??? Plant Saucers... Don't be silly, We all know that Derek is trying to save his vegetative brethren.... The question is... what planet are they all going to?

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

YOU DRAW PICS OF MATT COOL! TELL DARRYL AND RYAN I SAID WHAT'S UP!

(Submitted by unknown )

are you gay???

(Submitted by gern blandston )

Why is it that NYCFASHIONGIRL is always second from the bottom or so with the postings?

(Submitted by g-ray )

I tried their canned fish, Pre-cut Carp, but after the dinner, I decided I'd rather cut the carp myself.