Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Wayne L. Hubris)

Pull up a chair. Hubris is here. Listen, right now I'd tell you about how I almost won the Daytona 500, but when I told your father, he said never to discuss it with you. Because I respect your father, the story will have to wait. So your father, your Uncle Jay and I were having a few drinks the other night. God bless your Uncle Jay, he serves a fine glass of whiskey. Anyway, your father and I were knocking a few of those back. And I was entertaining the both of them, reliving great moments from my racing days. As usual I had them both on the edge of their seats, when the alcohol started making your father drowsy. I should tell you at this point that I mean no disrespect toward your father in telling you this, but he passed out cold on the concrete floor of your garage. In fact, he fell out of his folding chair, and his head somehow ended up sort of beneath his handsome '68 Corvette. Your Uncle Jay and I might have been concerned, but frankly, your father does this a lot. Again, I respect the man and I know you respect him equally if not more so. Jay thought it would be kind of funny to dress your father up in your mother's clothes. I have to admit that Jay sure was right about that one. It was funny. It was damn funny. Unfortunately, we did get oil stains on some of her garments that your mother has apparently been unable to remove. And your father hasn't been willing to explain exactly how they got there. Well, your Uncle Jay also found your mother's camera and took several pictures of your father in your mother's green stretch pants. Mind you, they look fine on your mother. I often admire them on her, but on your father... He's a large man, you know. Well, there should be some pictures coming back relating to this incident. I should hope that you, respecting your father as I know you do, would be interested in disposing of those pictures and the negatives--preferably before your mother has a chance to look at them. I would hope that you would not even be interested in looking at the pictures yourself, except to ensure that you're throwing away pictures of your father, and perhaps Jay and myself, but not of your family's recent trip to Tahoe. -Wayne L. Hubris

(Submitted by Dynamo)

Derek: Send that Glade carpet freshner over to Wayne Hubris's house. I think the guy is standing in a pile of crap that he generated himself. LONG LIVE MATT KREIG!!!

(Submitted by pantaloons)

Well, since I went through ALL these idiotic receipts, I should say something. I think this site is sad, Derek, but hey, if it makes you happy . . .

(Submitted by Rockford)

What's sad is that you went through them all. But hey, if it made you happy...

(Submitted by brkfst)

Breakfast is awesome!

(Submitted by melodee)

I just went to WAL*MART and spent $50. My receipt could beat-up Derek's receipt!!!

(Submitted by greeneyes)

The scent of that Glade carpet whateveritis is not going to cleanse the lurid scent of rampant fornication from your home, Derek. The musk of lust is forever enbedded in your shag ( how droll.... ) carpet. Ain't it cool?

(Submitted by eagle7)

greeneyes - the situation has gotten so bad that Derek has hired WalMart's very own hoe Mira Abag at the low rate of $6. She doesn't get a key though...

(Submitted by greeneyes)

That's not very nice, Derek. Oh, who am I kidding? I've bookmarked this page, for crissakes. The best way to get a fresh carpet is baking soda. I read that, it's not like I have a need to combat rampant funk.

(Submitted by rampant funk)

That's what you think...

(Submitted by pixel)

Welcome to our nig Monday Night Fight folks. And tonight we've got quite a matchup, so lets go to the ring.... In this corner, in the tuxedo jacket, hawaiian shirt, plaid boxers is Rampant Funk! And in this corner, in the paisley dickie, gold lamae boxers and fuzzy bunny slippers is Greeneyes! Now I want a good clean fight you too, no hitting below the belt (Funk, take the belt off your forehead), no scratching, biting, kicking, tactical nukes, slapping, or beating the other person about the head with a sock full of old lime Jell-o. Lets Get it On!!

(Submitted by farmwife)

Hey, NO PICTURE YET?!! I'm am going to un-bookmard this page!, I think that you just buy this stuff to make people think you are a normal guy, with a family, and all, but actually, your a weirdo, who has nothing to do but go to wal-mart for 2 stinkin items!!!! and you set and check your page every half hour to see what people have to say about it, now I want a REAL picture of your family!

(Submitted by greeneyes)

I remember our last meeting... was it the Mekong Delta or Karachi? You were selling arms to the rebels and I was working for the OSI, as an operative for Oscar Goldman. We met while I was following the Jihn warriors back to their camp, thinking they had info about the location of Lord Asrial, the Tibetan Ambassador. I'll never forget the two nights we spent in the jungle. All we had was a bucket of fried chicken and some duct tape but we survived. if I had had some hand lotion and a tampon, I could have made a bomb to help us escape after we ran into those head hunters. Does the baby look like me?

(Submitted by Nostaglic)

How I long for the days before all the press, Derek, when it was all about YOU.

(Submitted by sczott)

After a hard night of drinking and partying I hailed a cab driven by Ho Miro Abag. Nice guy, he even let me wear his turba

(Submitted by armitronika)

Wow. I can't believe i went through all of these reciepts. But i did it because i actually WORK at this Wal-Mart #1627 and i know Matt Krieg personally. I was seriously *LOL* through MOST of this site. I can't believe that i may have actually even spoken to this guy with all the reciepts here. Hmmmm. That is freaky. Well, in closing...this Dilworth Wal-Mart is far better, cleaner, and friendlier than the Fargo Wal- Mart. Trust me, i live in Fargo but i went to the Dilworth one to work....i love it there! Come and see me some time real soon!!!!

(Submitted by Zoctan)

Stop asking for pictures. It can only cheapen the site. Once he puts the picture up, you'll want to have a running editorial written by the man. Soon thereafter, you will demand Wal*Mart features and articles such as "How I drive to Wal*Mart," and "Watch out for aisle number 4, it Can Be Slippery." But you won't stop there, will you? No, no, you are not content with the current service The Man is providing (headed my Matt Krieg, of course). The Man will have to sut back on work hours so that he can please the vistors to the seemingly- innocent webpage he decided to create one cold Bolivian morning. To compensate for the lost wages, he will have to have more sponsors and now instead of skipping joyfully from one reciept to the next, you will have to answer essay questions on various advertisements for hair care and home improvement products. Of course, these essay questions will lead to great dissatisfaction with The Man's website, and it will be visited less and less frequently. Sponsors will pull out, The Man will be fired from his humble "stunt cock" job, and the website will cease to exsist. So you see, adding a picture "of the family" to the already perfect website will cause much pain and the loss of one of the most historically significant websites in history. Thank you, and don't forget to peel the banana first. -Zoctan

(Submitted by Eagle7)

armitronika - it begs the question, does the Mighty Matt Krieg (tm) know of this site and his celebrity status?

(Submitted by Carol)

Any word on those toothbrushes yet?

(Submitted by greeneyes)

From a purely anthropological perspective, I really tried to call Matt to ask him about that very thing. There was no answer at that number. Slacker that I am, I have yet to try again.

(Submitted by armitronika)

Eagle7--Well, i'm not sure yet...but i want to ask him. I see him pretty much everyday...talk to him about once a week or so....he's a nice guy. I actually feel very privaleged to know him after visiting this site. Before, i thought not much of it. So...i think i'm gonna ask him if he's heard of this site...i'm sure he'll be shocked to hear it though!

(Submitted by MATT KRIEG'S #1 FAN)

IF THIS IS ALL INDEED TRUE, AND THERE ARE SOME OF YOU OUT THERE WHO PERSONALLY KNOW OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR, MATT KRIEG, YE ARE TRULY BLESSED. I HAVE YET TO MAKE THE PILGRIMAGE TO WAL-MART 1627 MYSELF (I HAVE SOME STRANGE LOOKING MOLES I WOULD LIKE MATT KRIEG TO HEAL), BUT IF POSSIBLE, I WOULD LIKE SOMEONE TO COLLECT A VIAL OF MATT KRIEG'S SWEAT AND SEND IT TO ME POST HASTE. PLEASE CONTACT ME AT MATTKRIEGFAN@HOTMAIL.COM OR MATTKRIEGFAN ON AOL INSTANT MESSENGER. THANK YOU AND BLESSED BE MATT KRIEG.

(Submitted by greeneyes)

I think Derek ( we all DO remember Derek, right? ) needs to get the hell back to good ol' 1627 and buy something else. Derek, don't you need some more potting soil or another turtleneck sweater? it's been 6 days, man! A Mountain Dew, for heaven's sake! While you are there, light a candle at His desk for me,

(Submitted by Shit On Matt)

You Matt Krieg fans have got to be the saddest bunch of losers there ever was! GET A LIFE!!!! and SHIT ON MATT!!!

(Submitted by Shit On Matt)

You Matt Krieg fans have got to be the saddest bunch of losers there ever was! GET A LIFE!!!! and SHIT ON MATT!!!

(Submitted by bo)

I just called the store. I tried talking to Matt Krieg but he is at a meeting with the DM, Tracy somthing or other. I think it starts with an "M". I wonder if he is maybe getting a promotion. This site rocks!

(Submitted by Mat Freak)

Lets all pray Matt gets his promotion... 100% Customer Ssatisfaction pays off! -Watch out for falling prices!

(Submitted by Shit On The Man Who Shits On Matt)

Wow Mr. “shit on Matt” you must feel special now. You came to this web page just like the rest of us and you even put a COMMENT!! So in fact you should be the one who needs to get a life for judging someone’s entertainment. Oh and for saying that about Matt you should rot in poor Wal-mart management HELL!!! Great site Derek! And if you happen to look at the main page to this web site and look at the date 1/10/00 you will see a link to his web page and you can fulfill the picture needs farmwife.

(Submitted by Atomic Cloak)

This is my first visit to this TRULY bizarre site. All I can say is WHY THE HELL IS THE TAX IN N.Y. STATE 2% HIGHER THAN THERE?!

(Submitted by Wellsy)

This Website has to be, without doubt, the saddest on the planet. You know, I often think that people who setup this sort of toilet turn out to be sex cases, serial killers or listen to Des O'Connor records. The worse thing is that my girlfriend actually likes this stuff and spends ages reading the comments - cockoo!!!!!!

(Submitted by Joe Schmo)

Do you have a <b>favorite greeter</b>?

(Submitted by WalMart Rocks!)

Hey Derek! It's been way too long since you've visited WalMart! The Glad and Ho Miro Abag must have turned you into a robot - no longer in need of the earthly necessities of life!

(Submitted by Byron)

Hey Matt Kraig's #1 fan you need to put up a Matt Kreig fansite.

(Submitted by Cage)

Hey man, you charged $8.45 on your Visa? I think you may have outdone me. I don't use the card unless I have $50! BTW, Matt Kreig isn't as good as Tony Hudson, the manager in my area. :P I think they know me personally. If I scanned all of my receipts, I would have to quit my job and devote 24 hours a day to scanning receipts. :O Definitely an original site idea!

(Submitted by Andrew)

Speaking of 'if it makes you happy', didn't Sheryl Crow get her albums banned from Wal Mart because they supposedly sell guns? American censorship is fucked.

(Submitted by cross-eyed)

Armitronika -- who cares if you know Matt? My question is: do you know what Matt did to Ryan? Did you know Ryan? Is he doing okay these days? Please.... we're dying here....

(Submitted by the ghost of twerp)

cross-eyed...it looks like ryan will never be back...my greatest fears have most likely come true...matt crushed ryan in the wal-mart stockroom box-crusher late one night...*puts hand over his heart*..ryan...we all will miss you greatly...except of course for the matt krieg dumbasses that don't know great from gravy...i'll never forget you ryan....like the time we went to the italian coffeehouse and got kicked out because we mispronounced cappucino...(*laughs*..and you also said 'expresso'...silly boy)...or the time we met those strippers in cancun and had wild passionate sex...with THEM of course...not each other...(but boy you really had those homosexual tendencies, didn't ya pal? ha ha ha!)...or even that time when you gave me my own personal tour of wal-mart, and pointed out to me the stockman with the glowing red eyes and horns sticking out of his head...i'll never forget what you told me then, ryan....you said.."twerp, this stockman's name is matt krieg...and i can tell that some day...someday soon, actually..that this man is going to be the death of me"...but did i listen to you ryan?...did i go to the police and warn them that satan himself was working at wal-mart?...no..they wouldn't've believed me anyways...never in a million years...or a trillion years.....but they'd believe me now...they'll believe me because they found your body in that box crusher...your bones almost looking like evaporated milk...*sobs*...i loved you ryan...you were like a father, a brother, and a mailman to me...i'm sorry...i WILL avenge your death...good-bye..

(Submitted by Max)

does Ho Miro Abag live in the 2 story condo with the chore boy? I think those keys were for the chore boy, like janitor's keys. he has to get in to clean!

(Submitted by playa Chris)

the ghost of twerp do not cry.. for Ryan lives on inside of each one of us.. so never forget the work Ryan put in to make the world a better place and Wal-Mart with the WE SELL FOR LESS A L W A Y S

(Submitted by cmp )

I don't care how homely Miro may be ... there's no reason to call her a Ho AND A Bag!! That's just downright mean! I demand you apologize to Mino and The Chore Boy immediately!!

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

WHAT ABOUT AN I MISS RYAN WEB SITE?

(Submitted by Jessica )

what's more pathetic than a guy wasting his time copying every walmart receipt to the internet? people who make comments on a daily basis.

(Submitted by Usagi )

Don't get too excited when Matt Krieg says "Thank You For Shopping at Wal-Mart". He says that to everyone.

(Submitted by MiSbItCh )

what?

(Submitted by CLY )

The Wal-Mart people know you by name, don't they?