26 February 2001

26 February 2001

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Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Chiq )

Too bad that last receipt's gonna get left behind so soon. It was a good 'un. But this one's pretty interesting, too. TFNNDKIA252. I got one of those last week & had to return it already. You'd think for $40 it would last a while.

(Submitted by Edgar Gutrumble )

Now you can weigh yourself while you're in the bath! What next: a flannel that gets rid of dirt? Such nice people

(Submitted by Eunice Gutrumble )

Don't be silly, Edgar. Archimedes invented the bath scale to measure how much water spilled out when he got in.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

SHOUT OUT TO MATT! THIS MTDEW'S FOR YOU!

(Submitted by Danilo )

I think this receipt guy was caught shop liftning when he was a kid, AT WALMART!!!!. Obviously, shop lifters don't get receipts and now he just want to prove something. That's my theory...

(Submitted by Danilo )

BTW, wouldn't "# ITEMS BOUGHT 6" be more appropriate on a receipt than "# ITEMS SOLD 6"?! This is very strange.

(Submitted by Danilo )

BTW, wouldn't "# ITEMS BOUGHT 6" be more appropriate on a receipt than "# ITEMS SOLD 6"?! This is very strange.

(Submitted by Bonnie Piesse's lame chicken )

Oh dear, the carp is back. Must be mad now that it has TB! P.S. I haen't been reading the BBS, but I presume the fuzzed barcode is to avoid those Cuban hordes stealing WalMart's secrets and opening up fake WalMarts around the country in order to undermine the capitalist system. Great thinking Fidel, and more power to ya Derek for standing up for democracy!

(Submitted by Bonnie Piesse's lame chicken )

...oo-er (I owe you nothing), such little changes to the practicalities of this site, but such a disturbance in the Force as a result! What's all this "COMMENT ADDED" malarcky?????

(Submitted by JP )

TFNNDKIA, VHS, MTDEW, BATH SCALE, TB CARP, TB RIDR BGY, It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fiiiiiine.

(Submitted by Abi )

JP! Gimme a big hug!!!

(Submitted by gutrumble spokesperson )

fyi, edgar & eunice are attending a roughage convention this week and are unavailable for comment. you certainly meant to quote someone else, didn't you? as their attorney and broccoli provider i feel i must maintain their persuasive interests and voices of reason.

(Submitted by Tom )

This website makes me think about shopping. When I go shopping, I think to myself about what I want and what I need. We tend to want more than what we really need. The two concepts sometimes make a life diffent.

(Submitted by NYC FASHION GIRL )

snort,snort,snort

(Submitted by Kai )

Reading your receipts makes me think about what movie you might have purchased, possibly it could have been Where the Heart Is. Have you ever seen the movie or read the book, I'm sure many people have asked you that. It seems as though you could pull the same stunt that the main charecter in the story did since you go to Wal Mart so often. Do you think the story line was actually feasible, could a WalMart staff ever over look a woman hiding out in the bathroom at closing time? After looking at all you receipts it makes me think about what your life really is like. I start making up a life story for you in my head, a mental picture of your family life. I can see you must have a child, by now it must be around two or three since your first receipt contained a crib. I picture you married since you buy so many bath products, unless you really love to shower with bath gels. Finally, you really must love Mountain Dew, maybe next time you should buy a case, it could possibly be cheaper. Do you find Mountain Dew to be your comf

(Submitted by Kai )

(Submitted by Dally )

Kai, you should check out Derek's personal webpage and get to know the remarkable person that is Derek.

(Submitted by lieu )

bud, it's going to take something stronger than mountain dew to wash that carp down.

(Submitted by walfix )

You already live in a cashless society, don't you?

(Submitted by Big Boy )

Wow!!! I am already an addict. Not a day goes by that I don't check this site.

(Submitted by denis envy )

it's an evil addiction, my friend. flaming idiots bash you and friends often live in conflicting time zones. you wait for weeks for a new receipt only to discover you're at best the eleventh poster dance - hardly worth dancing a jig blade over. probably the cruelest irony is that you're aware of all these truly remarkable gems he now possesses via his fancy credit card but you yourself never get to feel their delectable weight in your hands, never know the wonderful sound they make being placed firmly on your mantle for display. my envy for the colorful life he leads surpasses wot can be drawn wif even a 64 crayola set. damn lucky dakotans...

(Submitted by susie )

My husband is called Tom, is that you darling? Don't forget the gin......

(Submitted by susie )

We do really need the gin, MTDEW does not hit the spot..

(Submitted by in lieu of reed )

I'm pretty sure he didn't.

(Submitted by ...- - ... )

let me guess... tom collins?

(Submitted by Dal )

Gin and bare it, I always say

(Submitted by ; ) )

absolutly.

(Submitted by neither rhyme nor reason )

i'm juggling kittens wearing nothing but mittens and chasing after maidens all the long day. i hope their earthly pleasures don't cause the family treasures to rise up in the kittens way.

(Submitted by in lieu of eric burdon )

I say T, TB RIDR...

(Submitted by susie (now more) or (less) sober )

By the way,Kai,Mountain Dew could never be my comf, but I can't speak for the rest of us here.Where's Dally and those cowtales we fixed up?

(Submitted by susie )

Oh there she is, sorry Dal, didn't notice you back there balancing on the bath scale.

(Submitted by Jenni-poo )

SHOUT GEL Abi-doll! Sorry I'm late, I had to go to the airport, remember? But happy faced *snogz* and a hug back, "with SWABS wide open"- hey, nice arse, you been working out?

(Submitted by Abi )

JP darling!!! BATH POUF to you!! *mwah mwah*......(psst guys - chicks snogging!)

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Yep, susie-Q, been indulging in a little too much TB CARP JN lately, I'm afraid. The old TB RIDR's starting to get a little BGY so it looks like I'm gonna have to cut back on the MT DEW. Hey, Jenni-poo! A big VHS to you, Abi-Cakes and Chiquita-Bird. And a TFNNOKIA to BB, lieu, and Terry. By the by, Where the fock is Terry-cloth? Sumbody please tell him he's sorely missed. Oh, and a shag for Andre.

(Submitted by Abi )

Hey back Dal-cakes...the T man was here about a week ago, but I've not heard from him since, but we do have this rather unpleasant outbreak of foot and mouth disease amongst our livestock. Maybe there's a correlation?

(Submitted by Chiq )

Hi ALL! KITTY TREATS for each one of you. Hey Dal, did you see on the last receipt Der bought you another pair of GIRLS BRIEFS? I hope this pair fits as... ummm... pleasurably as the last.

(Submitted by cutie )

I just wanted to say thanx for this ever so useful site. i used it to make my business project on walmart intesting (afterall what better than reciets to decorate the title page)dont worry you got full credit. oh yeah glad to see that you potty trained that kid of yours... i bet all those diapers in ht beginning got expensive.

(Submitted by lieu )

foot and mouth disease? is that some kind of a bovine toe fetish? it doesn't affect camels does it? hullo all you gorgeous gals.

(Submitted by account exec )

gimme a break, geisler. validate your existance please.

(Submitted by BigGayMonster )

how can we all have been so blithe, when Der is using Carp to treat his TB? at least he's getting a ride in a BGY. i hope it was a Dune BGY. was that through the make a fish foundation?

(Submitted by Mad Max )

What an idiot. I NEVER pay more than $32.95 for TFNNDKIA252's. Haysoos!

(Submitted by Ali-G )

Respeck, tis I Ali bak in da howse wiv maxeemum impakt. Y tis da reseats take so long apeer? Tis Derrick a layzee bruvver? Tis wicked dat dere r nu reseats. Keap da reseats roll'n Derrick. Kai, u nead 2 sea da si-col-ogist qwik. Da massive tink dat u r mad like sum ovvers on da site. Ali tis outta ere, booyacka saddo's........

(Submitted by horoscope for Geminis this week )

It's easy sometimes, to look at the world and say, "What on earth IS this place? What's going on? Why am I here?" But it is also easy, at other times, to look at the planet and say "What a wonderful place. How lucky I am to be here." What makes the difference? Not the state of the world. It is possible to be happy under seemingly dreadful circumstances. It is also of course, possible to be miserable in conditions that many would describe as perfect. "External factors" influence us a bit, of course. But not as much as we imagine. We are happy when our hearts are happy. We feel lousy when something, deep inside, is restless or anxious. Will this week bring the conditions you require to feel deep joy? Definitely. Will you experience it? That's down to you and your attitude,and how much time you spend at Derek's Wal*mart site

(Submitted by f )

(Submitted by Coach )

Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to? You give me somethin' I can hold on to. T-F-N-N-D-K-I- A-eee-AAA.

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

SNORT, SNORT, SNORT, RIGHT BACK AT YA, TO THE PERSON THAT FAKES BEING ME. YOU GOT A PROBLEM, SHOUT IT OUT TO ME, YOU GOT THE INFO! IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME, DEAL WITH ME NOT DEREK'S SITE! DO WE GO TO YOUR WEB PG AND MESS WITH YOU?, AH NO, CAUSE WE GOT LIVES. JUST REMEMBER I AM RIGHT HERE!

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Ah, the first traces of spring in the big city; Lovely pastel colors used for chalk body outlines, Tourists return for trial of guy who assaulted them last Christmas, the crack vendors on the D train start going topless, and FASHION GIRL comes out of hibernation.

(Submitted by Quentin Crisp in a jacuzzi )

I am the original bath pouf

(Submitted by daisy pumpmaster )

good one, bb.

(Submitted by fuzzy )

Uhm- this is kewel

(Submitted by Ali-G )

R us all's go'in mad? Da stuff on dis page tis crazee.

(Submitted by Nick )

Why is it that everybody who regularly contributes to this site (I have been reading the messages since I found this site a few weeks ago)have nothing to say and vehemently attacks anybody who happens to think the site is a bit weird? Obviously I have to ask the question, Haven't you got something better to do? Any answers would be appreciated before slagging me off

(Submitted by Abi )

Fair question Nick, however, I personally think it's the unsolicited, meanspirited comments that may prompt a strong reaction, I mean we all know this is a bit weird, and are proud of it! This is just one of many things I do in my life.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

I have a few comments...1) to the BigGayMonster..I am laughing my ass off - that was hysterical 2) to the horoscoper of Geminis - Thank you from the bottom of my heart- I needed that and it is true 3) FASHION GIRL - hey babe, good to see you and being impostered SUCKS - Note to Imposters - JUST SAY NO. 4) BB - I love you, I laughed- I cried and strangely enough I actually take the D train into work everyday (seriously) and damn if that ain't the truth about the summer crack vendors! p.s. i am searching thru my floppies for my thesis, if you *really* want to read it. :) and finally 4) to Nick - I think Abi said it very concisely...Many of us post from work...for me, it is fun...I have people here I consider *real* friends and I love to cut up with them. The receipts are just a springboard, ya see? We take the various ingredients (like apono bulbs, etc) and weave scenarios and puns and we have a blast. It is not that we don't have lives...I would argue that the regulars here are some of the most intelligent, high functioning individuals you will ever meet. It's one of those things either you "get" or you don't. We get annoyed at those who don't get it yet feel it there obligation to tell us what losers we are...after a while, ya know, it gets boring to hear. And as for Derek...he's a genius and we are protective.

(Submitted by Abi )

*round of applause from the toaster box*

(Submitted by P.S. )

As to the weirdness factor - yeah, we may seem a little weird (woohoo) but no weirder than people who wear Che t-shirts and don't have a clue as to what he actually did, BUT to I stop people on the street and say..HEY, CHE WEARER...GET A LIFE! I do not. :)

(Submitted by Dally )

*cursty..blowing snogs to the Toaster Box*

(Submitted by susie )

Well said Dally. *lighting up the white globes*

(Submitted by Chiq )

*in a small muffled voice* Hey Abi, can you step down off the top of the toaster box so I can get out, please? It's getting a little warm in here. And to Nick, again I reiterate my recent comment... some things are done just for fun and have no greater meaning. As Dal said, people either "get it" or they don't.

(Submitted by Abi )

oops, sorry Chiq *jumping off onto BATH POUF* Anyone know where Nick went???

(Submitted by Bud )

Probably in his pants...

(Submitted by Chiq )

*stepping out of toaster box & breathing deeply* Thanks Cakes. Hey, I hope no one heard me singing SHOWTOONS in there. I didn't know anyone else was around.

(Submitted by lieu )

like hitler said... "big smile". *big smile*

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Hey lieu, is that a nanner in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Oh and that Hitler mustache tickles just a little.

(Submitted by lieu )

hi chiq. no, i'm just happy to see you. i haven't carried a nanner in my pocket since my testicles dropped.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Hey Nick, there are some valid points that you raise: (1) if someone comes on and quotes the eternal verity "get a life", we should be grown up enough to ignore them, since they won't be back, and their contribution is less than useful. (2) The regulars here regularly chaff each other, with frequent references to previous episodes, which can make an impenetrable [verbal] fence to newbies or the occasional reader. I feel it sometimes myself *loud ooooh from the soundtrack*, since posting from Australia, I'm 12 hours behind everyone else, so I'm always in 'catchup' mode, and sometimes end up talking to myself. But if we highlight each others idiocincracies [Fashion Girl has lost her shift key, Abi has foot-and- mouth, I earn extra money delivering letters from my front pouch], it is written in fun.

(Submitted by Abi )

Um BB - now I'm confused....I thought you were 11 hours ahead of me..not behind me...hey, I love the idea of a pouch, very cute!!!

(Submitted by Dally - Good Morning Mates )

*sneaking a peek inside your pouch* Oh my Lord!!!

(Submitted by Angry Dragon )

Chaff? or chafe?

(Submitted by Chiqca )

tom-A-to or tom-AH-to?

(Submitted by susie )

Tom-IS-myhusband

(Submitted by Mad Max )

TFFNDKIA252? Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel...

(Submitted by Vanna )

*prettily twirling letters around* *sweet smile* *glamorous pose*

(Submitted by Adolph Hitler )

"All those who are not racially pure are mere chaff."

(Submitted by Abi )

what's in the pouch, what's in the pouch!!! Let's see...

(Submitted by Carl Meloche )

For god sake can't you buy a tv guide , once and a while ? .

(Submitted by God )

No thanks Carl, I really haven't watched any TV since they took off Barney Miller.

(Submitted by Dalliance - Outraged at the American Justice System, among other things... )

susie, I can't take it here anymore..this country is getting down-right moronic. May I please come live with you in France? I do so love Paris (it's the only place in France I've visited, but I loved it tres much)or Balmain? I still wish you would consider taking me in...I could sleep in the barn with the horse. I promise not to peek into your pouch often and swear I won't touch..think it over, m'kay? Abi, Abi...listen...I've been thinking and I really dig British TV and cider. Seriously, do you know any pub that needs a serving wench??

(Submitted by Dalliance - Trying to shut up, but I just can't )

The Florida Courts should be tried for child abuse...plain and simple. Just because a 12 year old kid is 170lbs does not mean his mind or emotional state is anything other than that of a 12 year old child's. He kills a 5 year old while pretending to me a Pro Wrestler, whether purposefully or not, (if a 12 year old *even* understands the concept of consequential death), you get him psychological help...you do not try him as an adult and send him to prison for life. It is despicable. I hang my head in deep shame because I live in a country that places more value in over zealous rules (except when in the case of groups with big lobbies) than simple, obvious, humane ethics.

(Submitted by Terry )

I agree, the judicial system in this country is totally f*cked, guilt or innocence isn�t the point, it�s who has the best lawyer. As with everything in this country, money talks. But to condemn a jury for finally getting one right is another problem. The jury is not at fault here. The fault should lie with the person(s) responsible for that child being in the courtroom in the first place. This world has gotten far too �goal� oriented in their zeal to have a better home, car, etc, and is losing sight of what�s important. I don�t believe counseling an hour a day would help this kid, what he needed, and what I�m seeing a lot of kids needing these days, is responsible, caring PARENTING. Neglect and abuse is no way to rear a child. It�s no wonder we have them filling our courtrooms. Just because �society� says a 12 year old kid is a juvenile, that doesn�t mean he shouldn�t know right from wrong, and be responsible for his actions. Had it been your kid, picked up and body slammed by a brute three times her size, would you have the same opinion? Not a fair question, of course, but being that I AM a parent, of 2 boys, whom I AM trying to teach right from wrong, I would want nothing more than to see the same verdict were it one of them killed. Don�t forget, the taxpayers are forced to support this kid for the rest of his life, but he IS alive. That little girl is dead.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Life without parole? Terry, do you really believe a 12 year old is an adult? If so, shouldn't he be able to have reasoned out the plea bargain by himself rather than his stupid mother doing it? And is it his fault that he has a shitty parent? I agree that caring Parenting IS essential, but sadly not every kid has a decent parent. Is that their fault? And you are right, it he had killed my kid I would want to kill him, but I would hope in time I would come to some understanding and reconsider and realize that destroying his life would not bring my child back. Is this really the America you want? And as far as knowing right from wrong, yes, a 12 year old should but what if he doesn't, and even if he has been taught properly, do you actually believe that a 12 year old child comprehends the full notion of death, I mean the full and permanent consequences of his actions? That he has the full capacity of reasoning that an adult has? I am not saying that he should not be held accountable for the hideous crime he committed but I do not believe he should be accountable as an adult. And one other thing, regarding the gun laws, yeah, it is great that you are teaching your kids how to respect firearms and life, but what about the kids with parents that don't give a shit about them? It only takes one badly parented kid to take out a whole lot of good kids with the benefit of caring PARENTING...You are blaming children for their parents fuck-ups. I work around sad, depressed badly parented kids everyday and you know what? The act out...they do bad things like wipe their shit on the bathroom walls...do know why they do that? Cause they are hurt..cause they are in deep pain, because their parents beat them and do drugs and forget to feed them and they are helpless to do anything about it, cause they are KIDS..so yeah, KIDS IN PAIN DO BAD THINGS..so let's fry them.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Nevermind, I am sorry I even made the initial posting..it is not really appropriate for this site anyway. There is no point arguing. Peace Out. Bless the beasts and the children.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

And Terry, fuck you on the comment regarding my not being a parent..You and I both know what YOUR problem is with me, so spare me the 'holier than thou' shit.

(Submitted by Terry )

M'dear, these "children" of today, are not the same children we grew up with so long ago...these kids know the judicial system, they know that it is set up so that, prior to this experience, any kid can kill, and will kill, without regards to the consequences, because unfortunately, the sentence is usually juvenile detention until they are eighteen. Wake up kiddo, the world around you is falling apart, and if you insist on coddling these murderous "children", then, so be it...I'll chip in for your plane ticket, 'cos we don't need that kind of thinking in this country. We are quickly going to hell in a handbasket, and any sane person can see, that an example has been made, and hopefully more will. It takes more than a lot of pretty words to direct a child properly, and until you've actually participated in that experience for more than an hour a day, I suggest you keep your bleeding heart opinions to yourself. Some of us are trying to build a better society, by caring and loving our kids, and teaching them right from wrong. Part of the problem arises from the indiscriminent sex so prevalent amongst the "adults" today, and their unwanton children are paying the price. But these children are doomed to repeat history, unless they first get thrown in jail for killing other innocent children. This is the America YOU want? And no, I HATE the fact that my children are familiar with guns, but what are my options? At least they've got a fighting chance when some kid, whose mother was out whoring with her married boyfriend, decides to kill his classmate because he didn't get Cocoa Puffs that morning. I've got to go work on the baseball fields now, the season starts next week, and somebody has to be there to direct our youth. What are you doing?

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Wishing you the best of luck.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

But, regretting the fact that you felt the need to make it personal.

(Submitted by Dally )

But, then you've been gunning after me for quite a while now haven't you, Baby?

(Submitted by lieu )

i'm buying you both ponies.

(Submitted by lieu 2 )

i just want us all to get a thong!

(Submitted by Dalliance - loving lieu )

lieu, the problem lies not in our divergent thoughts (if you notice we both agree that the problem and solution lies in good parenting) the problem is that Terry wants to slam me personally. And, well, I am glad he as least came out with it rather than compose mean-spirited poems and "I ams" under the cover of aninimity. He has an issue with me - or more specifically he has an issue with himself. And, as to what I am doing...I am going to work everyday (10-6..making very little money) and trying to help give those kids that are abused and hurt and lost and poor a safe place to let their heart's bleed after their parent's have emotionally and often physcially mutilated them. I know it's not mowing a baseball field for well-cared for kids to learn how to swing a bat so their parents can cheer, but it's the best I can do.

(Submitted by Dally )

pppsssttt...lieu, can I still have the pony?

(Submitted by Terry )

Gawd, you just don't have a clue, do you...try making a difference on your feet, instead of your back for a change...www.piedmontrec.com and I'm not mowing fields, I'm building them, and coaching a team, and working the concession stand, and umpiring games, and doing fundraisers to pay for it all...check out the website...see y'all after the season! (BTW...gunning for ya...good one!)

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Well hell. I go away for a few days and all hell breaks loose. Nanners for everyone!!

(Submitted by lieu )

yeah, chiq. it's all your fault. where did you go? are you tan? oooh, tell us more!

(Submitted by Lop )

How's the TracFoNe NOKIA 252 working for you?

(Submitted by Ayla )

Those "TB Rider Baggies" must come in handy on those long, cough-inducing weekend road trips. And what better way to contain extremely contagious Tuberculosis Germs then with TB Rider Baggie's new and innovative non- contamative "Saf-tee Seal Stripz"

(Submitted by afse )