Visitor Comments:

(Submitted by Dally )

HOLY APONO BULB! The bounty, O the bounty *First poster dance!!*

(Submitted by Dally )

FIRST POSTER DANCE

(Submitted by Dally )

COMEEEEE ONNNNNN.....

(Submitted by Dalliance Explaining )

opps! well, there is it *sheepish grin* See, the posts weren't showing up but then they did...HOT Damn! a BOOSTERCABLE!! 8MM TAPE and 35 MM FILM. God, I sure hope that's for me. Bless you, Rosy!!!

(Submitted by Walmart Saves )

Gift Card Redemption! Thank Ya, Jesus! Amen, Bro. Derek! Another Gift Card Glory Bound! Everybody say, "Yea-ah"

(Submitted by Miss Elle Toe )

Ummm..I meant Roxy not Rosy. Forgive me, I am just a little over-excited with this exceptional receipt. I mean just look at it, would ya *doing Vanna White impersonation* I'm speechless. p.s. sorry about that almost nude, dancing, fat Santa, Derek. I can see now what with the dorritos and Dr. Pepper how it might have upset your tummy.

(Submitted by Petronious )

Truly, this parchment speaks volumes.

(Submitted by Hieronymus Bosch )

I feel so debauched.

(Submitted by M. de Sade )

Ah, Home for the Holidays!

(Submitted by Jean Genet )

DORITO was his name, he was a young, dark Latino with a BOOSTERCABLE that no mere 8MM TAPE could sequester and I loved him. DR. PEPPER was an ever present specter then, his pocket full of FACIAL TISSU belied the fact that he too could not ignore the luminosity of my beloved Dorito.

(Submitted by Jean Genet - not to be confused with Nate )

So, I TRAN AMT-ed them both.

(Submitted by Operator )

Dr. Pepper to the ER STAT! Code Blue... Code Blue! Dr. Pepper to the ER STAT and bring the BOOSTERCABLE with you.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Dalliance-baby, let me tell ya about Chris' BOOSTERCABLE... & the tool belt that goes with it... *wicked grin*

(Submitted by Tiffany )

Gosh ur site is all over the place...I got it from Seventeen magazine...hmmm maybe if I put up my Target receipts I'll be famous too....

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Derek... cookies? Did you eat all the ones off the sheets & needed to replace them?

(Submitted by The 500 Oz. Bladderless Cup )

Man you sure go through the FACIAL TISSU which means you either constantly have female visitors or never do. What about that big BOOSTERCABLE purchase? I hope this is not the type of product meant for jumpstarting a car. If so, is the insulation extra? For $4.44, I envision coat hangers with some roach clips on the ends.

(Submitted by Pre Vert )

I believe this receipt is the beginning of a new site Derek is planning. Something about the combination of food, film, and hardware that just screams deviant behavior. Then again without the BOOSTERCABLE it simply looks like he's planning a child's birthday party.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Pre Vert, you bring up a very good point regarding the possible "innocent" nature of this receipt. However, if I might point out the Dec. 21 receipt wherein we learn that a MAG RACK (I suppose you KNOW what that is used for) and a THERMOMETER were also purchased. I will say no more. HEY Chicqa and Balmain!! *waving and blowing kisses*.

(Submitted by Marshall Blueberry )

I know it is a Gift Card, and yes, it was well spent, but really, if Rosy really wanted to be noticed she would ask you to buy condoms and hot oil. Just imagine the messages left on here, she'd be famous. Derek would sure have a Merry Christmas.

(Submitted by Dog Boy )

On the twelvth day of Christmas, My SYSOP gave to me, 12 DR PEPPERs, 11 Posters Posting, 10 COOKIES Cooking, 9 KITTY TREATS a treating, 8MM TAPEs a taping, Seven COUNTER CARDs a counting, Six RED CLAY POTs a potting, Five SCOTTS SOIL, Four FACIAL TISSUs, Three DRI-BOTTOMS, Two BOOSTERCABLEs And a MATT KRIEG in a WAL*MART.

(Submitted by Dale Doe )

If Roxy just wanted to mentioned on the site I'm sure she won't mind that you used her gift card to buy things that will no longer be in existence 2 weeks from now.

(Submitted by Little Moth )

+++Merry Christmas to all+++ Thanks for helping to maintain my sanity...

(Submitted by lifelong man )

The average short side length of a Dorito is 43mm. Whoa!! 35MM + 8MM. And, as if that's not enough, the sticker on the boostercable says $4.19. Overcharging! Just like NightLine said. Might want to bring this to Matt's attention. And pick up some flouride rinse while your there. The ole chompers'll be hurtin' after the DP and cookies.

(Submitted by cindylouwho )

I had NO idea you could just go out and BUY facial tissue. What an amazing advance in medicine!

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Has anyone seen my reindeer? *calling out* Oh CHORE BOY... Oh COPMUT... Where, oh where, could they have run off to on this Christmas eve???

(Submitted by emityna )

If you add up all the item numbers and divide by the store's phone number, you get the pre-tax subtotal. How about that!?

(Submitted by Armand Linton )

I miss Darryl Marchetta, truth be told.

(Submitted by Armand Hammer )

Wow, is the Pope old or what? They should let him rest.

(Submitted by Neves El Buod )

wow, emityna...what in blazes to you make of that? Might it be a sign from the prophet, melon? 23.87 hmmmm..but WAIT..if you take the 8 and subtract the 3 and then add the 2 you get 7!!..double sevens...DAYUM

(Submitted by Sneves El Buod )

Pardon, but my proper name is Sneves, not Neves (which is only what close friends like, oh, say, Beelzebulb call me)

(Submitted by Dalliance )

I wonder what Roxy got for Christmas. I hope it was a lot of good stuff. p.s. Roxy, please be very nice to Derek and give him a raise. Thank you.

(Submitted by Freud )

Way to hog up 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th place there Dalliance! Enjoy the holidays. Freud

(Submitted by Freud )

No doubt Amand the Pope looked like he was ready to drop right over.

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Here's a KITTY TREAT and nanner for all my poster friends *flinging KITTY TREATS and nanners in all directions* Merry Christmas y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Submitted by Suzy )

I don't mean to start trash talking you but are you serious? I don't know what is worse your faithful followers or the pure stupidity of your actions? Do you enjoy that you are a waste of flesh doing absolutely nothing but posting recepts of things no one could care less for?

(Submitted by Dally )

Freud, Dude, it was a mistake, see? Sorta like when you pal Wilhiem Fliess declared the nose a primary sexual organ. I was posting but the posts weren't showing up...but then..poof..they did. AAAHHHCHOOO

(Submitted by The Grinch )

Yo, Suzy, your trailer's on fire.

(Submitted by Suzy )

I'm so sorry for what I said before, I DID in fact mean to start trash talking you. I know I was spending Christmas day looking at your site and all, but I ain't no looser like y'all are. I am the judge of what is and is not stupid you know. I've wasted two much time at your stupid sight already and missed the first part of WWF RAW.

(Submitted by Armand the Pope )

Sounds like someone didn't get the Spice Girl action figures she wanted for Christmas. Pre-pubescence is such a difficult age.

(Submitted by missing lieu )

WWF RAW *laughing really hard*

(Submitted by Otis )

What a bitch

(Submitted by Heinrich the evil reindeer )

While Santa wasn't looking, I swapped a few presents. Al Gore got nineteen thousand butterfly ballots, just when he couldn' use them. And George Bush, a new speechwriter: Dan Quayle!

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Suzy, I don't know if Derek enjoys being "a worthless piece of flesh doing absolutely nothing" but I know I sure do. I worked a damn long time to achieve this level of pure stupidity.

(Submitted by RobertaELee )

*sigh* Hey y'all...They just let me out of the recovery center but I have MANY meds. So how y'all been? Whoyou Cindylouwho? That facial tissue thing was real funny. Well I'm gonna'kick back with some Doritos and some of that there Dr. Pepper aka Southern Comfort an' lissen to me some Lynyrd Skynyrd. Nice seein' y'all again. Hey Dal an' Chiq. And Freud. And Moth. And Suzy.

(Submitted by The Anti-Suzy )

I must confess that it was I who wrote the second entry on Suzy's behalf. I sincerely apologize if anyone feels as though they have been duped, but I felt her current level of retardation needed to be amplified so that her statements would be properly addressed. I have no idea who this person is, so there is no way of knowing whether she is truly a "wrastlin'" fan, but I think the odds are in my favor.

(Submitted by The Masses )

Anti-Suzy, I think most of us probably saw through your clever disguise, so no apologies necessary. Your "Suzy post" was well-taken and I'd guess quite accurate.

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Happy Boxing Day y'all! Here, everyone have a SPINWHEEL & celebrate!!!

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Roxy Roxy Roxy was a manager foxy and Steve Waugh is 98 not out at stumps on Day 1

(Submitted by Marshall Blueberry )

Emityna is an asshole!!! I actually did that math and it is no where close to the pre- tax subtotal. It took me about 5 minutes too.

(Submitted by me not first but had to make a comment )

Are doritos getting more expensive or what? A 12 ct bag for $3.14? And I can't believe that they charge $2.98 for a Dr. Pepper.

(Submitted by There should be a law... )

You mean you only get 12 Doritos for $3.14? Dang, those must be some swanky chips.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Hey, you gorgeous Aussie-Man, wot in the hell are you saying up there? My lazy-ass American brain is not achieving synapsis. Stump? Day 1? Hep me.

(Submitted by Freud )

Armand the Pope! Bwahahahahahahaha

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

The captain of the Australian cricket team (Steve Waugh), he of the surly countenance, was left on 121 not out at the end of the Australian innings of 362 in the 4th Test in Melbourne today. In reply, the West Indies were all out in the last over of the day for 163, thus avoiding the follow on. Hee Hee try following that gridiron growlers!

(Submitted by Dalliance (wake me when it is over, but the outfits are fetching, I do admit) )

Ohhh, BB,I see now you were speaking of Cricket....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(Submitted by Dally )

Here Balmain, if you use this Boostercable and volt me ..oh..say..362 times, maybe I will understand what you just said. Question: who has the stump? Here have a DR PEPPER and some DORITOS while you explain the game to me again and I fall asleep again. Sorry, mate, but isn't Cricket *really* just a bunch of civilized people watching grass grow?

(Submitted by Chiquita )

I thought a cricket was a little crunchy insect that's very hard to catch inside your house.

(Submitted by in lieu of the wicked bitch of the east )

boy, i bet sex wif Pre-Menstral Suzy would really suck, or no, maybe that's the problem. i hope she gets laid before she ever posts here again. she's like a scratchy little dingleberry irritating this anal epicenter of consumerism humor. mkay, back to wasting my time - sounds like a great christmas feast you're putting together, derek. wtf is a boostercable??? who in the hell's coming over to eat, the gimp?

(Submitted by lieu )

there once was a whore named suzy, sex with her step-dad made her a floozy, the story has been told, of how she prefers her cum cold, and that's why she carries it around in a coozie.

(Submitted by Terry )

I saw EVERY one of these things used in a snuff porno film, I'm thinking the 17 FT CABLE couldn't handle the load, and he had to buy a BOOSTER. But really, DORITOS??? They turn it orange...'splain THAT to your urinologist...

(Submitted by dick wang )

where mai pain pots?

(Submitted by mr. robinson )

i just don't understand kids today. used to be you could lure them in simply with a little candy. nowadays, it's "hey little girl, want some 12 ct doritos, cookies and a dr. pepper?" that's just what this brave new world needs, - well balanced pedophiles.

(Submitted by lieu )

btw, i hope everyone realizes this obviously is not either of the two very nice suzys who have visited us in the past. suzinncal and suzonprozac, we realize this is someone else...

(Submitted by suzy that sucks cocks in hell )

you like me, you really really like me!

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

Sorry about that last post, everybody - too much post-prandial port. Isn't it funny that anyone in England, South Africa, West Indies or India who follows sport would understand what I said, but to the rest of the world its gibberish? But then, any set of rules for a sport is only gibberish, no?

(Submitted by NewlyAddedLoser )

Thank you for raping me of my intelligence, have a nice day. please drive through.

(Submitted by Little Moth )

++Why did GOD invent Woman?++

(Submitted by lieu at u )

To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

(Submitted by Trembles )

That's not true because we haven't always had toilets, so they were meant to dispose of it in another way.

(Submitted by Dally (are we going to Bali?) )

Damn, that was a good one, lieu!!! *writing it down*. Balmain, personally, I find your gibberish terribly charming and I loved the "post-prandial port" thing although I don't think my AOL connection came with that kind. America, like, sucks.

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

My manager's last day at work is tomorrow, and he's going to Bali - but then going home to live in Manchester. Had to take the good with the bad, I guess. Ta ta, Russell!!!!

(Submitted by Dalliance )

lieu, Terry so glad you are back!!! I so missed you two lampchopies. By the way, you guys missed the party, Freud and I BOOSTERCABLED Suzy and made a delicious dip for the Doritos. The Gutrumbles stopped by and Eunice and Edgar couldn't get enough of it! Such nice people. Such tangy dip.

(Submitted by Biskra or Bust )

HEYYYYY BB...finally we meet..only this thin membrane of screen seperating us...*touching the middle of the screen with my finger*.

(Submitted by lieu )

jeez, dal, me wishes i could take credit where it's poo butt that last post twern't me. someone borrowed lieu, hopefully temporarily. it t'was pretty funny though. cheers!

(Submitted by mr. hankie )

somebody mention poo?

(Submitted by wood dent it be nice... )

boy, i wish i had a foxy roxy that wood boss me around. now that's my kind of "manage her." does walmart sell stiletto heels? don't you wish everybody did?

(Submitted by 80 yr old man )

These prices are too high! In my day you could buy a DORITO 12 CT for a nickel and I bought my first house for $18. We didn't have no fancy "Wal-Mart" to do our shopping anytime we wanted. We had to walk 72 miles to the general store to get our SPACE SAUCERs. Our diapers were made of burlap and called Genitals-B-Raw. And another thing...zzzzzz

(Submitted by Jennifer )

Dorito's, cookies, and Dr Pecker. Somebody's on a health kick. Getting it all in before New Years?

(Submitted by in lieu of dr. pecker )

hi jeen! what's your new year's vintage gonna be? any suggestions?

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Little Moth, you're going to the Sugar Bowl!!! Lucky little lepidoptera.

(Submitted by Jennifer )

Haven't got a clieu, lieu. I'm being taken out for a special dinner, which better not include a smiling f*cking clown on the box. Prolly PBR and some Astay Spomonty since Macs lounge don't serve Franzi.

(Submitted by Dalliance (retiring my number) )

Happy Trails, Everyone. And, thanks for the memories!

(Submitted by lieu )

wtf?

(Submitted by lieu )

oh, after reading yesterday's "i am" page i see what's happening. looks like someone didn't get the pollinex 2000 they were looking forward to. mkay everybody, chill out, take two testicles and nudge me in the morning.

(Submitted by julia chil'd )

pbr??? peanut butter & raisins? pork belly roast? pan browned rooster? partially basted raccoon? plate o' brown rice? pine beetle rectums? what the hell is pbr?

(Submitted by Helpful )

Pickled butt rosettes?

(Submitted by Helpful2 )

Panda butt roast?

(Submitted by Dam boy )

Prime beaver ribs?

(Submitted by The Doctor )

Pecker Bone Refills!

(Submitted by Terry )

DAMN...SOMEBODY took a grumpy pill, huh? That was pretty ugly, and I AM sure not the intention of the page. JP, good luck with the dinner, and if I may end the suspense, being from the terry-tory, PBR is Pabst Blue Ribbon...right? I hope Mark does you better'n that...

(Submitted by lieu-tenant governor )

oh, okay! i've never tried that flavor. is it spelled correctly or sould it be "blew" ribbon? boy, that wif some ashtray spewonme as a chaser should make for a true fuji moment. tiny bubbles everyone!

(Submitted by Terry )

...and BTW, PBR goes well with DR PEPPER, DORITO 12 CT, TAPE, 35 MM FILM, COOKIES, FACIAL TISSU AND 8 MM TAPE, but knot so well with BOOSTERCABLE...so I've heard...

(Submitted by Weymond Denson )

Well Matt we made it through the christmas crunch despite you never sending me the temp workers you promised. Weymond

(Submitted by Matt Krieg )

I did, they were simply more temporary than you realized. Matt

(Submitted by penis enlarger )

can you put "boostercable" on a pubic site?

(Submitted by Dick Wang )

I'm frying in pain, I'm really frying in airpain!

(Submitted by Angus Young )

Hey Jeen, have a drink on me!

(Submitted by Jennifer )

When it comes to lovin', I steal the show. I hope you have a deep belly button.

(Submitted by MC 900ft Bellybutton )

Your eyes are like the bluest ocean, your hair is like the golden morning sun, and your belly button is as deep as the grand canyon so cover that bitch up before it swallows the plate of food you have resting on that hairy bag of fat you call a stomach!

(Submitted by Weymond Denson )

Yeah I heard that Matt! They temporarily stole their way through the store and promptly split. Thanks Heaps Weymond

(Submitted by ken )

My mom says that she shops at WalMart way more often than you do.

(Submitted by Pseudo-Derek )

I'm sure she does, but then I don't dress like I stole my clothes off a dead vagrant like she does.

(Submitted by yb dettimbuS )

This is fascinating. Let me reload the gun.

(Submitted by Sara )

Get some sleep. You know you need it. Just not right now. Take a break, buy some candy. Drink some caffiene. Write to Dex. Write to Mike Gerace. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at others. Point. Write email to everyone everytime you go to the bathroom, saying "If you need me, I'll be in the restroom." Drink a Dr. Pepper. Get shot. Eat bacon. Don't ignore your carnal urges. Bite someone. Repeatedly. On the neck. Say "huckelberry." Go to the Star Trek Experience and drink 3 WarpCores by yourself. Pretend to be a cop. Make a porno. Steal people's pens....

(Submitted by Hasp )

I have cancelled checks from 1969 on. Probably make a good site.

(Submitted by Cool Baby )

I dig your style Sara.

(Submitted by Fake Cop )

If you need me, I'll be in the restroom.

(Submitted by Pen Snatcher )

Huckleberry. Huckleberry!!! Uhhhh, if you need me I be in the crapper.

(Submitted by Yolanda )

Do you ever spend any real money at Wal-Mart?. Six months ago we moved from big city to a more rural area -- WAL-MART - territory and pretty much where one goes for everything. We have 3 W's and 2 S's and I don't think we had 3 Wal-Mart in St. Louis where we moved from. I rarely get out of our local Wal-Mart spending less than $20 and usually more. Maybe because it's a 24-hour Supercenter???

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

I NEED MATT AS MY NEW YRS DATE! CALL ME!

(Submitted by 3 pound cock )

Thank you for sharing your shopping experiences with us Yolanda. That's what we need more of and less bickering among our posters. Speaking of posters I got a great SW poster when I was 7. Then I moved and lost it, but replaced it with a Farrah poster. Maybe that's because I hit puberty.

(Submitted by Jessica Alba )

Well, this IS fun> 35mm film or 35mm Substrate? 8mm tape. Hey buddy, why don't you get a Hi8 camera or a MiniDV camera. 8mm is dead, dead, dead.

(Submitted by George W. Bush )

May I say one thing about this here web-sight? I think it is rong to cuss where them children coud come. You needs to cleans up your lagnagage in the pubic areas. I think those things on the top could be subliminable. I gots to gets them there things checked out.

(Submitted by Annie )

I had to see this to believe it. More incredible than this site is the fact that you have groupies!! Wow!

(Submitted by Gorgeous Hunk )

NYCFASHIONGIRL, what's your number? You sound like a total babe! Twilo? Liquid? the Tunnel?

(Submitted by Alfonso Ribero )

Do people still use the word "hunk?" I thought it sort of hit its peak in the 80's and is now only used by old people. I could be wrong, I've only had 4 hours sleep.

(Submitted by Do people still use the name Alfonso? )

Please, O Hip One, please enlighten me as to what the cool, young people (such as yourself) use to describe a Hunk?

(Submitted by On the edge of my seat )

Tell me Hip Alfo, where would you take a NYCFASHION GIRL? Maybe, you can give me some pointers? Like, where's a good velvet rope club in midtown?

(Submitted by Hunk )

Hey on the edge of my seat, you might want to try out Dally's place first. I hear there's some action there. Might want to bring some Snickers with you, though...

(Submitted by Village Voice )

Dear on the edge of my seat, just to let you know, that place has an almost impenetrable velvet rope, but Hunk is right, Snickers do sway.

(Submitted by Critic's Choice )

Dally's place would not be my first. Seems the place was poorly managed and has been picked up by an individual investor who is presently renovating. Try The Racing Lizard, or better yet, The Hairy Scar Lounge.

(Submitted by Free Love )

OOOOhhh free candy.

(Submitted by George W. Bush )

If you need me, I'll be in the restroom - but I will not, I repeat, I will not be spilling my seed or any other unnatural act cause that's a sin in the eyes of God. P.S. if anybody needs to be electrocuted while I'm in there, well, go ahead an fry em.

(Submitted by No Lunch )

Love is never free.

(Submitted by Paid Dues )

Thank God for serious investors.

(Submitted by God )

You're welcome, but your capitalist society has more to do with it than I do. I'll pass the word on to your founding fathers for you.

(Submitted by Vested Interests )

Yes, they were investors in freedom. Bless them.

(Submitted by Spencer Thomas )

Bless them indeed, especially the ones that owned slaves since they were the most concerned about freedom.

(Submitted by Fanny Artichoke )

If you think a booster cable is good enough for me, Derek, you've got another thing coming.

(Submitted by Is it my imagination or is there an inordinate number of peevish people about lately? )

*rolling my eyes* as if the North Americans were the only civilization to ever own slaves. Read some history, how about it, and I didn't say they accomplished freedom, I said they invested in it, which is exactly WHY we do not have slavery today. And the notion of "investment" is not merely a capitalistic one. How very simplistic of you to think it so.

(Submitted by Reading is Fundamental - Rhetoric Is Not )

And, pardon me, but I would argue that the Americans who were most interested in freedom were the colonists that came here and subsequently built and died for this country in their pursuit of religious and ideological freedom. And besides, Derek is an American, so shaddup!!!

(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal )

HI EVERYONE!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Gosh has been a while since a new receipt was posted ... want to see the 001 on there!! /// Hey LIEU thanks for the sweet compliment! {{hug}}

(Submitted by NYCFASHIONGIRL )

I WILL BUY YOU WALMART AND KMART GIFT CARDS!

(Submitted by Aunt Beru's lame chicken )

I think a toolbelt wouldn't have gone astray on this receipt. And Derek, can you please for @$%#%!$% sake remove the apostrophe in "its" in your WalMart disclaimer on the home page of this site? Please?

(Submitted by Mrs Campbell )

You Americans - "Roxy" - hee hee hee - "Shaquille" - haw haw haw - "Tupac" - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *sound of whiffy oyster clanging shut*

(Submitted by Chiquita )

Oh Aunt Beru's lame chicken, thank you for bringing up the "it's and the apostrophe" situation. It's bothered me for quite some time (one of those little pet peeves) but I didn't have the nerve to say anything about it. So here, I have a KITTY TREAT for you (unless you'd rather have a mushy nanner left over from the New Year's Eve bash).

(Submitted by in lieu of john thomas )

hny everybody! damn spencer, i pay for your boat trip over here a put a fine, leaky roof over your nappy head and all you want to do is sit around eating doritos and drinking dr. pepper. it's cotten-pickin time you made some cents boy!

(Submitted by Dr. Des Hertz )

Less than 1% of the slaves traded from Africa came to the North American continent. Over 90% were actually captured by neighboring African tribes in an effort to increase their dominance and to realize exotic trade goods. Modern day African Americans enjoy the highest standard of living by a black society in the world. Many crimes against humanity have been committed against them and by them in retaliation over the past 240+ years but the continued portrayal of unprecedented victimization both is taken out of historical context and unnecessarily delays the healing process. Want some pizza?

(Submitted by lieu )

this was kind of a cool start to the new year... my brother-in-law has a tree farm here in texas and met with president elect george and his wife for an hour the other day about some trees he wanted planted in crawford. so, when on the news you see some new trees out at his ranch, remember that you heard it here first. btw, he said thay both were very pleasant and laura even sent his daughter, my niece, a dr. pepper bottle from her birth year since she couldn't go out there too. maybe he's not so eloquent but he is a pretty regular guy and i wish him well in a difficult situation.

(Submitted by On the widow's walk )

Is it just me or does it seem like we've not had a receipt since last year?

(Submitted by ApostropheMan )

I disagree, the apostrophe is there to represent missing letter(s) dropped out by contracting the two words IT HAS; just as further along the line "don't" is a contraction of DO NOT. Apostrophes are to take the place of missing letters (hittin') or to denote possession (it's place).

(Submitted by Little Miss Jesus )

Tell me, where are your black eyes?

(Submitted by emityna )

PIG SQUEEELIN' AND GRUNTS IN THE BACKGROUND what happened back there was the following: it seems that lieu and JP were somewhat confused about what each other been tryin ta say and then they got to be havin some confuzion and stuff about exactly what it was that they meant. at least that's the way i see it.

(Submitted by Strunk & that other Dude )

Asp'man. Yes, of course, apostrophes take the place of missing letters as well denote possession but in the case of the word "it", "it is" is indeed written as it's. However, the possesssive of "it" is "its" (no apostrophe). The End

(Submitted by recycler )

really? its that easy? ill be damned.

(Submitted by Little Moth )

+++Why is PMS called PMS?+++

(Submitted by Abi )

'cos Mad Cow Disease was already taken

(Submitted by Little Moth )

===looks around for toaster box=== Not even a crusty bananna. Oh Well=== Flutters off======

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Hey everybody, whas the matter? The enegry between us all feels funny...if I was too obnoxious at some point, I am sorry. I don't want to lose you people, you're presence in my days is very important to me and you've helped me thru a difficult year of my life (which ended with a holiday marital seperation) so, sorry for the mush but, please don't go away. BTW, where is Germaniac? I'm worried.

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Strunk, well said. And don't worry Dal, it's all good, babe. I think it's just been quiet because of the holidays & everyone's schedule is messed up. Here, put these GIRLS BRIEFS on & tell me if that doesn't just make everything all better.

(Submitted by Abi )

Dal, Chiq - the 2001 return of the Goddesses....hey gorgeous babes!! Happy New Year to you all.....where are the boys and the rest of our chums??

(Submitted by Terry )

I know for a fact that the girls briefs feel great...been wearing 'em ever since the wife found 'em under the car seat...

(Submitted by Dalliance/Aponolite )

Thanks Chiqca! WOW! these GIRLS BRIEFS are magnificent! You're right Chic, all better now, all good. Yo, Terry, what color are your GIRLS BRIEFS? (loving the visual). Here, Abi/Spatula, have this IMPLEMENT, and for you Chic/Zenith, a FEEDER SQRL! And SPONGE WEDGS for everyone! Happy New Year, World!

(Submitted by Terry )

BTW, Happy New Year all...

(Submitted by Andre )

It's been quiet cause I been stuck under this f&%^$$#n coffee table with third degree burns to my rubber! Do anything to change the rubber for some girls briefs....

(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal )

Ditto Dal!!! ... you all make my day when I pop in! *smile* I too have had my spirits lifted on a bad days by reading your posts! Post on! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

(Submitted by emityna )

Grab on to my waistband Andre and pull yourself out.

(Submitted by Andre )

Dearest Emityna, couldn't it be the other way round, pretty please? *batting eyelids scarcely visible through the smoky glass of the coffee table*

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Andre, you are such a tart. Welcome back, stranger. I've missed you. I've been waiting here with the boostercable for so long, I forgot what I was going to do with it. Dang, I sure could go for a Tim Tam.

(Submitted by DallyinNYC )

Suz, you are a bright angel.

(Submitted by Grass Hopper )

"The brightest angel is one which shines from within" PS "a little crunchy insect that's very hard to catch" hmmp ! I'll have you know Chiqca, that the hard exterior protects a soft but playful centre, which can very easily be caught by the right girl.

(Submitted by Chiqca )

A soft but playful center, eh? I think I had a Sees candy with that description once. Grass Hopper, it's an understatement to say I am intrigued. Come, sit on this PLANT SAUCER with me & tell me all about this soft but playful center.

(Submitted by Grass Hopper )

Gleetings Chiqca-san, *adopting lotus position on PLANT SAUCER, and extending hand of friendship* We all need protection us from the harsh words and deeds of those that wish to harm us, but for some this barrier extends to the very centre of there being, making them cold and emotionless. Those who have found enlightenment, are warm and gentle, and yet playful like the frisky hares in May ! "My exotic ideas will lead you to many exciting, new adventures !"

(Submitted by Hummingbird )

Go Chiqca, Go Chiqca...Jump on It...Go Chiqca *doing Rikki Lake chant*

(Submitted by lieu )

do girls briefs have that little flap opening in front like the guys do? ha, i can just see chic & abi & dal doing the flying superwoman.

(Submitted by cookiecrumbler )

YES COOKIES !!!!!!!!!!1

(Submitted by susie )

Hi Grasshopper,Dally Abi Freud and Lieu and everyone,happy new year...

(Submitted by walmart greeter )

happy new year, susie.

(Submitted by art illiary )

you know, they make those liners that you can slide into the barrel of a shotgun that will reduce the diameter of a 10 ga. so that a 12 ga. shell can fit inside or to drop from a 12 ga. to a 20 ga. shell. why don't we invent ones for condoms, ship them to japan and retire millionaires?

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Hey susie! Happy New Year! Dear art, let's do lunch! I hear Wal*Mart is has a new sushi bar!

(Submitted by emityna )

art, why don't you. And the rest of us can laugh.

(Submitted by Empty-Eyes )

You bought facial tissue at wal-mart..... damn thats kool.

(Submitted by SuzinN.Cal )

Thanks Dal! Hmmm ... wonder what has happened with Derek? He hasn't gone shopping in a while! Hope he is ok.

(Submitted by Jennifer )

I said "DR PECKER, give me the news, I got a, bad case, of FACIAL TISSU. No DORITO's gonna cure my ill, I got a, bad caaaase, of FAAA-CIAL TISSU"

(Submitted by Dally (singing a little bit Prince) )

Kiss your enemies like U know U should/And then jerk your body like a horny pony would.

(Submitted by Jennifer )

Can you jumpstart a menstrual cycle with BOOSTERCABLE's?

(Submitted by Grass Hopper )

Gleetings and a wonderous and fruitful new year to you all in this our millenium year. Generosity and perfection should be your everlasting goals.

(Submitted by Dalliance )

Jeen, BOOSTERCABLES never seem to do it, however, eating lots of chocolate and wearing white pants to work usually works for me. If all else fails, eat a fortune cookie and/or grasshopper (ancient Chinese secret- no offense GH)

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Have y'all noticed that one mention of the menstrual cycle and all the men have vanished? *laughing hysterically*

(Submitted by Terry )

Not me Chiqc-y babe...I love it. Around my house, we refer to it as "Hoover Week"...

(Submitted by Chiqca )

Hoover? I don't even want to know.

(Submitted by Coach )

Well, that's better than "Arts & Crafts Week at Panty Camp" isn't it?

(Submitted by in lieu of a dignified response )

... and we always called it dunkin' heinz.

(Submitted by Try the veal )

Do girls that "experiment" with their best friends have a monthly bicycle?

(Submitted by dogboy )

I prefer "the break at beaver dam."

(Submitted by BalmainBoy )

At my place, its "Come on son, its cold baked beans night in the cubby house again"

(Submitted by Dalliance - On Top of My Cycle )

Hoover Week??? I am at a loss. Hoover Week? Terry, call me blonde, but "Huh?" I just finished mine, for anyone who might be interested. I call it having "my moon". I also finished a Jumbo bag of hersey's kisses. I call that the "Dark side of the moon".

(Submitted by But WHY? )

cold baked beans? - yuck pooey yuck- What a shuddering thought.

(Submitted by Terry )

Dal, you're blonde...anyhoo, it's pretty much a "guy thing", but for the record, Hoover makes vacuum cleaners, and vacuum cleaners tend to suck a lot when turned on...shall I continue? Would you like to know why I nicknamed her Crisco, or is that one too obvious?

(Submitted by Blonde Girl )

Ah, thanks for the 'splaining Ter, I gotcha now. Me, I just throw a towel down and go on as usual, that, or do the shower thing but I see your point.

(Submitted by Cotton Cork )

I would get married, but I don't want to walk down that aisle. I mean the one with all the feminine hygene products.

(Submitted by Harry Astbiker )

Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with it, hell, I earned my Red Badge years ago, but, if it ain't broke, don't fix it...

(Submitted by Hell )

Hey, here come's the handbasket fully loaded with the receipt site!

(Submitted by Natas )

Yeah, I know the conversation has really changed these days. What happened to the highbrow discussions of the past? No one is even mentioning drugs anymore. This site isn't on it's way to hell, it is hell and that's why it's so much fun.

(Submitted by emityna )

The site is neither santioned by nor approved of by Lord Satan.

(Submitted by Steeping Bags )

Harry...true, true...but personally, that is the time my libido is really peaking but, if I was a dude, I'd feel *exactly* the same way, "For a mink chicken well vacuumed is a thing of beauty." I got that one from the back of my Celestial Seasonings tea box. It was the 'Morning Thunder' flavor, I think *teeheehee* (entertaining myself if no one else).

(Submitted by emityna )

no one else

(Submitted by Steeper than a cliff )

emitany, I know, deep down, you really want me.

(Submitted by emityna )

I don't believe that to be the case. This receipt is gettinng stale. How about giving the guy a ride to thhe sto.

(Submitted by jaebee )

The receipt may be getting stale for you but I just found it, probably too late to point out that Derek bought mostly junk and meaningless consumables with a Gift card.....Frankly I'm surprised he didn't just buy a pack of gum and pocket the rest of the money, I've seen plenty of people do that, but no, instead he was thoughtful enough to buy some fairly interesting stuff to give us food for thought. And one other thing....Derek is a 'Pepper' do you realize that? Wow, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?

(Submitted by Justin )

you are quite the credit card user, aren't you?

(Submitted by JAke )

These are some whack Xmas presents. Cheap bastard.

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(Submitted by Michael Lopez )

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(Submitted by Bonnie )

Washin' down them Doritos with D.P. following by a fine dessert of Walmart cookies for Christmas dinner? Whatza mattah...Santa not been good to you, honey?