I questioned whether the Million Erect Nipple March would ever succeed anyway due to the odd number of nipples caused by one man's mysterious third nipple, but those fears subsided upon hearing of "the shop-vac incident." Without going into detail or naming names, I'll just say we were indeed playing on a level field and leave it at that. Although we may never find out for sure, I would like to think that we would have made a difference by standing nipple to cold, hard nipple. It wouldn't have been easy and I know any one of us could have suffered permanent nipple damage out there, but we were willing to take that chance and show our support by being unsupported in a Walmart parking lot next to the dude with the bell, and that display of the igloo shaped doghouses, and all 42 of those softdrink machines, and that weird looking kid that wears a helmet all the time even when he's not on a bike and spends his days playing outdated video games in the lobby when he could be playing newer games for free inside the store where it's warm, but he's an idiot and never thinks of that...where was I? Does it matter?
Maybe you ladies that got bikini waxes for this event thought I forgot about your hard work...well I didn't. You will be joining me on my "DJ DECO BULB X Audio Assault Tour" where you will actually be the only ones of the group to continue with the protest as previously described. C'mon do it for Derek! If you won't do it for him how does a diet coke and half a Quarter Pounder sound?
Think about it.

Buy the new DECO BULB X album "SPACE SAUCER" at any Wal-mart in the greater Dilworth area. Available nationwide on January 1st at Waffle House, Truckstops of America, or from this dude Ricky who keeps them in the trunk of his '74 Plymouth Valiant