Last night, while on the way to a party with co-workers, my car died. I tried to pull off the road, but the lack of a berm meant that my car slid down the snowy ditch embankment, ending up quite off the road. With some help from my grandpa, we managed to determine that the problem was an electrical short, because the self-resetting breaker would make the car appear to "come back to life" after sitting a few minutes. I think that the most expensive part of getting the car repaired will be the towing itself, since they had to winch the car out of the icy and snowy ditch.

I had hoped that the car would get me at least another 6 weeks. By that time, I'd have my tax return and a few large paychecks to put towards the purchase of a new vehicle. The Volare is on its last legs; coolant in the oil, a failing master brake cylinder, a rusted-out muffler, and a carborateur that needs rebuiding or replacement all make for a vehicle which would be more expensive to repair than to just trash it and buy a newer one. I paid $500 for the Volare 7 months ago, and it's been worth every penny. It may be different in other places, but Fargo is a car-town. If you don't have a car, you're stuck. If you can afford to take a cab everywhere, then you can afford a car. The mass-transit system is horribly inadequate and slow, so either you have your own car or you have someone with a car drive you around. That's how I made it 2 months without a car, and is how my ex-wife lives her entire life without a driver's license.

I was lucky enough to be able to borrow a vehicle from my grandfather. Had they not a spare vehicle, since they were going out of town and were taking one car, I'd be stuck. I'm also lucky enough to have parents willing to lend me a bit of money to pay for the car repairs of it's more than the cash I have on hand (which invaribably it will be).

I need the car, though, and I need it back at all costs. My life stops without a car. Maybe, in larger cities and warmer climates, you can easily walk to the grocery store, work, and the daycare. Not here in Fargo. Due partly due to the location of the airport, and mostly due to the lack of geographical restrictions, Fargo is 99% suburb. The downtown area is more metropolitan, but outside of that 10x10 block area, houses & apartment buildings sprawl for miles. Nothing is built up; everything is outward, and continuing outward at a rapid pace. This puts a lot of space in between things. I drive 5 or so miles to work, another 3 or 4 out to my ex-wife's to drop Destiny off for visitation, and even the grocery store, the closest thing to me, is about a mile south of here. Bicycle is even out -- this far north, it's difficult to get around on bike except for during the 10 weeks that we call "summer", and even then, I'd arrive at work, panting & sweating after fulfilling the 10 miles I drive each way every morning and evening. Without a car, I am stranded.

This technology we rely on every day has made things easier, but it's also forced a degree of complexity into our world which forces us to rely on it, just to keep up. In a simpler society, you didn't need to travel more than a few miles in any direction. A trip into town, 5 miles away, was a day-trip. Ma packed a lunch, you left in the buggy or Model T early in the morning and a hour or so later you were there. About mid-afternoon, you had to head back, to be home before dark. School was a half-mile walk (or, in the winter, a buggy ride. Faster cars made these trips quicker and easier, but they facilitated more difficult lifestyles to become commonplace. Five miles out of town used to be the wasteland, but now it's called the suburbs. Schools didn't need to be placed every 13 miles, so larger classrooms and longer rides to school became commonplace. Telephones added to this, television extended it further, and the coming technologies give worldwide access to the most remote of places. In the end, the lives we lead are molded to require technology just to keep up, not to pass the pack. Without the technology, you cannot even revert to an older style of living -- you fall behind even the capabilities of the people who lived without technology for hundreds of years.

I managed to keep my car together as long as possible. Nothing that is wrong with it now is due to neglect or poor maintenance (at least not by me). It's an old car, and the reason I opted for a $500 car even though I could afford more, was because I knew that if the Volare could get me into this year, then I'd be able to afford an even better car. A coworker of mine even has a car for sale whilch he has offerred to me. Until I get my money together, I'm stuck relying on the Volare. Without it, I have nothing; my job performance fails, I cannot take Destiny to daycare, I can't go shopping, and all the other basics of life crumble around me.