Some guy named Stephen Fry, who should be more familiar to me but isn't, has been Twittering for some time and attracted a following — including a skilled illustrator devoting one hundred days to drawing the action of each of Fry's twits. Twittings? Tweetles? Anyhow, it reminded me of the nearly forgotten art of illustrating spam email subject lines, which I found more entertaining than the Twitterings of some british guy. #

In 1787, two years before the Constitution established a national mint, states were experimenting with minting coins of their own. Expert in gold coins Ephraim Brasher produced a small number of gold "doubloons" in a U.S. coin style as proofs for the state of New York. Seven have turned up over the past two hundred years, found in various places from the Mint's to-be-melted bouillon pile to a Philadelphia sewer, but all have been in the hands of professional collectors since. That is, except for the DuPont Doubloon, which was stolen at gunpoint from the DuPont estate in 1967, and turned up six months later taped to the leg of a wife-beating criminal who got his just deserts. #

Today's the Digital Switchover: analog television (except in rare cases) has ceased to exist in the United States. If you could get an image before, now degraded digital signals will just result in a blank screen or a 'no signal' message, with no chance to try and make out an image through the fuzz - a far cry from the ominous description from Neuromancer, comparing the sky to the color of a TV on a dead channel. Children for the past ten or twenty years have know that color as a solid blue field, changing the feel of the quote completely. There is an opportunity therein: you now have a nearly uninterrupted opportunity to watch the cooling background radiation of the Big Bang on every channel. It is like a clear night sky devoid of light pollution, but for the radiotelescope set. #

Language watch: I've noticed it more and more frequent online, in blog searches and product searches: people are using the word "bathrope" to describe a cloth pull-over with sleeves for wearing while drying off. There is a rather obscure bathing accessory known as a bathrope, but the two are hard to mistake for one another. The error is so uniform, I'm leaning towards it being a phonetic approximation by non-english-speakers of a word that they've only heard spoken and rarely read. #

Esquire magazine has a little infographic in July regarding people's satisfaction with the place they live. North Dakota, among several western states, have the highest resident satisfaction level. It's data without context, because satisfaction can be affected by a lot of things. Is the low population and remoteness of these states the reason? Is it because only people that like it here are willing to stay? Is it because the population is so homogeneous that there's little dissent or conflict? I prefer to think that the harsh weather really does keep out the riff-raff that could make a place intolerable; northern states, in general, are more satisfied with where they live, so cold winters must make you happy! #

A while back on the slow-moving Thingsville, US, I linked to the Danger Dog phenomenon. I just got an email from the people behind the project, asking me to pass on the word that you could get your own Danger Dog at the Craft and Folk Art Museum in Los Angeles ("right across from LACMA", so everybody says) this next Saturday, May 30th (CFAM calendar here), and some will be sold at discount prices. Michelle of the Danger Dog site says: "It's that time of year again! Another Danger Dog trip -- the fifth already! We will be back in early August with the new commissioned orders...30 Danger Dogs were featured in the Venice Art Walk benefiting the Venice Free Clinic. Not only did the Dogs do well -- 14 sold with 4 bidding wars -- overall the Silent Auction brought in as much money as last year – a neat trick in this economy." Oh, and lastly: they have a blog? they have a blog. #

In 1492, Christopher Columbus stood on the deck of the Santa Maria, telescope in hand, and sighted land. St Kitts, an island amongst those visited by Columbus, commemorated the event by issuing a postage stamp depicting exactly that. Whoops: the telescope wasn't invented until 1608. It doesn't, however, stop anyone from including telescopes in crafts, costumes, clipart, or coloring books of Columbus' adventures. More than just nit-picky, the inclusion of such complex tools overlooks Columbus' accomplishments, given the utter lack of technology at his disposal. #

Holy shhhhhh--- 4chan, being composed of the most amusingly unemployed brains on the intneret, has managed to hack Time Magazine's Most Influential Person online poll to make the creator of 4chan #1, on an order of 100x...but it wasn't enough to win, but to manipulate the results to write the message "MARBLECAKE ALSO THE GAME" using the first letters of the names of fellow Most Influential competitors. Via. #

Prosciutto: a superior engineering grade of meat. At least, according to mad scientist Theodore Gray, who has bought some nicely-marbled prosciutto and figured out how to turn bacon's high-energy contents into a steel-cutting torch. (via) #

Totally awesome: click the same path that the van drove, while capturing the screen as video, and Google Street Views becomes a video drive-through of your town. #

In January, strange lights that could not have possibly been man-made appeared in the sky over Morristown, New Jersey. The lights flew in formation, glided opposite the direction of the wind, and disappeared without a trace. UFO Hunters on the History Channel were certain the phenomenon was unexplainable; that is, until some hoaxters managed to explain it, having released highway flares tied to balloons at that very time. Their intent was to dupe the so-called UFO experts into revealing that they don't know crap about unidentified things in the sky, and their ruse worked spectacularly. #

The transmission in our minivan died two weeks ago. Unlike the olden days, when a dead vehicle was towed to a junkyard and if you're lucky you wouldn't have to pay to leave it there, I instead placed a Craigslist ad. Within three hours we had $200 in our pocket and the van was on its way to a new owner: the Lake County High Schools Technology Campus, in the care of an auto repair instructor who drove an hour to Milwaukee to pick it up. Craigslist: more than just hookers, it helped the environment by keeping potential hazardous waste out of the junkyard, and is helping high-schoolers get another opportunity to learn. #

It's not necessarily just a sign-o-the-times, because I can point out plenty of buildings here in Fargo that sat vacant for years without a tenant, but the result is always strangely haunting: Time magazine's "Stores That Are No More" slideshow is artistic photos of what is left behind when a building and parking lot, required by firecodes to accomodate hundreds of people at once, becomes a ghost-town. All I can say is, "Last Day, Capricorn 15, year of the city 2274. #

Modern technology in the centuries-old courts: jurors Googling for more information via Blackberries and iPhones cause mistrials. I'm supposed to be on jury duty towards the end of this month; while I understand the sentiment of preventing outside influence — the other side can't cross-examine a Google search, nor can the judge clear the entire internet as relevant and admissable — I want to know why the lawyers don't include that information to begin with. The fact that lawyers leave out relevant information, such as maps or technical details, should be the reason for the mistrial, not the Googling. #

Nena Evans passed away after an asthma attack years ago. Her ashes were placed in an urn, which was given to her husband. Her husband then asked Arnie Berezin to hold on to a bag for him - the bag contained the urn, and the husband never returned. Today, the urn and the remains of Nena Evans sits on the corner of the desk of Chicago Sun-Times reporter Neil Steinberg, who is hoping family will turn up to claim the former Mrs. Evans. Via. #

If you ever wanted to own Superman's first comic, one of the finest editions of Action Comics #1 is up for auction. As of 3/2/09, it was at over a quarter of a million dollars. I have a reproduction of AC#1 printed in the 1980s, and it looks worse than the one up for auction - the one up for auction looks like it was printed yesterday. #

Seems I missed milestone: On December 20th, 1993, I made a Usenet post in alt.vampyres about a book I was reading, which means that I have been using the internet for over fifteen years. There are kids in driver's ed who weren't born yet when I had my first email address dahlsad@plains.nodak.edu. Note for nosy people: there are posts clearly misindexed with me as the writer, so don't trust that the bad poetry and comments on videogames are me. #

While renovating his home, an Indiana man noticed pipes running through a wall which shouldn't have had anything on the other side. Pried up floorboards revealed a staircase, which led to a hidden tile-walled secret room. These sort of events bring out the 12-year-old in everybody; who doesn't want to find a mysterious secret room in their house? Theories range from a private sauna to a prohibition-era still; the owner either needs to call the Hardy Boys, or hit his local historical society for more info. #

Low Earth Orbit objects are moving very, very fast, but they're quite tiny - relatively - given the enormous size of their orbits, so two satellites running into each other is highly unlikely. While highly improbable, it isn't impossible, as this week proved: An Iridium sattelite-phone relay collided with a non-operational Russian satellite earlier this week at around 15,000 mph (over Mach 20 at sealevel), creating two belts of debris that will continually circle the earth until other objects cross their orbit (possibly causing damage that creates more shrapnel debris) or they fall into the atmosphere. #

Today's Lincoln's birthday (get your new pennies!), and a new discovery in Lincolnania has been made: on some original correspondence written by Lincoln, a Florida college student has discovered one of the few Lincoln fingerprints known to be in existence. #

In Kill Bill, the Bride takes a shotgun load of rock salt as a means of slowing her down — but dows it work? One gun afficianado tries it out, happily not on any living things. #

A high-school english teacher gets dosed with LSD by a student. A fun short read, but the story, its structure, its tone, (and according to MeFi experts) seems to sound more like the fiction of an egghead who wishes he had tried LSD that one time when he had the chance, unlike the teacher who dosed himself in the line of work. #

In the Max Headroom universe, it is shown that some TV cameras in the "near future" are structured like an M-16 for easy handling - it's not so bad an idea, as an Army field photographer has mounted his camera on a gunstock, for ease of use. Twenty minutes into the future, indeed! #

I've heard rumours of its existence, but here it is: the David Lee Roth isolated vocals from Runnin' With The Devil, run through Songsmith, Microsoft's "band in a box" AI program. I started laughing while listening to it wearing headphones, which encouraged Wifey to ask what was so funny. She regrets ever asking that question. #

That's my problem! (Wifey says: which one?) The brain controls a 'dimmer switch' to limit the amount of input from the ears, to allow a person to tune in specific things, making it easier to stick with a conversation in a crowded party. I, however, have never really been able to listen to a single conversation in a noisy room -- somebody installed a faulty dimmer in my noggin. At least, that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it. via. #

What has four sides, a trapezoid top, and goes "clip clop"? swiss horsehoe nails. Woodworking magazine recognizes their similarity to ancient nails and tries them out, with sadly poor results. Unlike roman nails, the horseshoe nails widen greatly at the top, causing the wood to split. #

When fixing one thing in modern technology, it breaks other things in strange ways. A videographer was trying to film a zero-G flight with his high-tech digital camcorder, but the camera just wouldn't run. Turns out, because hard drives are so fragile, they automatically go into "impact mode" when experiencing zero-G to protect their parts. Clumsy IT people results in no spaceflight videography. #

Another data-transportation format dies: QRS Music recently ceased producing paper-hole-punched player piano rolls. The format was a simple one, similar to the process used in wind-up music boxes, but not complex enough to produce the kind of music available on phonograph records or radio...which makes it surprising that there was still any reason for the manufacture of player-piano rolls after the 1930s or 1940s. As with the false belief that digital synthesizers would replace all musical instruments, people still appreciated the art of the player piano, and restorers still needed something to play on their classic machines. Offering an alternate music choice or modern audio format didn't do in the player piano: replacing the roll format did. Modern player pianos exist, but load their songs from a CD or memory card. #

Jim Henson was always on the forefront of puppeteering technology, adopting computer-motion-control in the early 80s. His robotics mentor, and later collaborator, holds one of the funnest IMDB stage-names I've seen in a while: Debbie the Roboteer, proprietor of the now-defunct Robotorium, Inc.; Sadly, she passed away this spring. #

Just because I'm proud of how it turned out, here's my Christmas article for Collector's Quest: a letter to Santa, written to the tune of God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen, asking for Star Wars figures. Someday, I'm going to hire a soprano, alto, tenor, and bass and sell a service by which anyone who writes a silly blog-post set to the tune of a classic Christmas carol can have it sung by professionals and recorded to MP3. #

What the hell's a canola, indeed! Canola oil is a genetically-modified, selectively-bred rapeseed oil, but due to the obvious connotations of the unrelated word "rape", the low-acidic variety developed in Canada became Canadian oil, low acidity. I suspect eating "Canadian Oil" didn't sound promising, either; 'canola' rolls off the tongue and actually sounds somewhat food-like — but depending on who you ask, any form of rapeseed, including canola, is considered a health hazard. Here in North Dakota, we produce nearly all of the U.S.' canola. #

While city life might have its own dangers, living in the country is more likely to get you, hemorraging and broken, on an emergency-room gurney. It's not just farm-related accidents: driving long distances for supplies, more self-reliance for basic housing care, and (ahem) a tendency to drink, do drugs, and other risky fun-loving pasttimes, all compound to put rural residents at higher risk of injury. #

"Innovative ideas, even though bordering on the bizarre, are frequently encouraged and may be protected by the law and the courts, but to use the court or law to impose or force a number in lieu of a name upon society is another matter." A man's attempt to change his name to 1069 is denied, with expansive legal exposition as to why. Via. #

After my last post about Santa fear I've kept looking, so now Thingsville is exhibiting the various other sources of terrified Christmas photos. #

I'm not a fan of hotlinkers, people who steal my bandwidth to post pictures from my websites in their blogs or message boards. So far, I've always replaced the image with something else, often something obscene. Lately, however, there's been so much hotlinking, that I decided to make it work for me: there's an overview of how I'm advertising my own websites in hotlinked images, using PHP and mod_rewrite. #

Communes aren't just for hippies anymore: one in Australia doesn't like the comparison to the whole 'free love' and 'easy pot' reputation that the hippies caused in the sixties. Theirs was started in the 1940s, and has been self-sustaining for far longer than any of those half-formed utopias of the sixties. Like most communes, they've come together under an ideology, and that may be the reason they've survived: they're a Christian commune. #

Sometimes I'm forced to admire the creativity of the Nigerian spammers. Usually, the emails run the same gambit: I'm a rich guy, who under political strife has fallen on hard times and need to get my money out of the country. Please help! The way the story goes, you will have to pay the cash to get the money transferred, because the deposed prince doesn't have any cash (it's on hold, remember?) but you'll get paid back once the deal is done. Today's 419 spammer took a very different route: impersonating the FBI, saying my $5,000,000 transfer is illegal, unless I provide documentation. Documentation, of course, doesn't come for free. Now, it's clearly not real, as the spelling errors, poor grammar, and an understanding that I would know that several million dollars would be transferred to me, but it's a numbers game: send a zillion emails, and if a couple hundred fall for it, that's food on the table. #

Who knew we'd be put in the same class as Mafia-controlled Las Vegas and Blagojevich's Illinois? North Dakota has the most per-capita corruption convictions of any state, but it's more a fault of making percentages with very small numbers and comparing apples to oranges. If one car gets broken into, and then the next week two do, the crime rate has doubled, but it's a far cry from 100 murders to 200 murders. I don't know what the 50 corruption convictions were, but I imagine charging a few thousand dollars of gas to the city when it goes into your pickup is a far cry from asking millions for senate seats. For example: Tenney, MN, experienced the largest per-capita embezzlement case in Minnesota history in 1999...the mayor and his wife stole $1,763. Population of Tenney: 6, and the theft was almost half of the city budget, making it a $293 per-capita crime -- stealing $100,000 in Minneapolis would still be fractions of a penny per-capita, so the comparison really breaks down at that level, comparing apples to oranges when there's such a difference in population and funds. #

As the years pass, as time slips away, as the snow begins to fall, we are brought back to evidence of this holy time of year: 250 pictures of children terrified of Santa. #

Zookeepers in Japan set up a breeding pair of polar bears, but found no amorous behavior. Reason: both were girls. How could trained professionals miss this rather large identifier required for breeding? Well, sexing a polar bear is much, much more difficult than you might believe. #

At the end of Reservoir Dogs, Mr. Pink takes advantage of a mexican-standoff gone bad (do they ever go good?) and leaves with the jewels in hand. There's a lot of noise outside — the police have arrived — but what happened isn't clear. Was he killed? Did he get away? Was he arrested? The answer can be found here, thanks to modern digital technology and amplification. #

Destiny Floor, now the better part of a decade old, is still named after my daughter, thanks to a 2002 eBay purchase. I do periodically check and make sure the name hasn't changed, because I'm an obsessive daddy, but recently Random Hall's webmaster posted here to let me know that it's still Destiny. It's nice to know that somebody on that end is still keeping tabs on things, since everyone who had originally been part of the naming has probably graduated and moved on. #

Film leaders once had a couple surprise frames at the beginning, of no use to the average person. They consisted of a woman surrounded by various color swatches and grayscale densities. Traditionally called a "china girl" for unknown reasons, they're now seen as an ephemeral feature of pre-digital film history. via. #

Pianist Andre Tchaikowsky got his final wish -- to star in Hamlet. And, according to his plans, it was only a small part of him. His skull played the part of Yorick, the long-dead court jester from Hamlet's youth, something Tchaikowsky had always wanted. #

Less than half of the population understands how our government and society work. I'm sure quizzes like these have been failed by the public for decades, because if you asked people during WWII which states were the Confederate states they'd probably be about as accurate as people today answering which side countries were on during WWII. But, when your vice president says that he's not part of the Executive branch, you can pretty much assume that this disinterest in the nuts-and-bolts of democracy has spread a bit too far. #

Going through old bookmarks, finding odd things, like Amazon.com's manual for the NM-156 Reciprocating Emu Press. #

Further signs that CDs are going to become obsolete: Michael Jackson's Thriller -- first released in 1982 -- sold 31,000 copies last week, making it #1 on Billboard's Top Pop Catalog Albums. The source of the sales? iTunes. The Pop Catalog list isn't a hugely difficult list to be on (three AC/DC albums from the past 40 years are in the top 10), but the ability for a burst in iTunes interest to turn the chart upside down is a huge sign that the digital distribution model has a big advantage for both customers and musicians over the old model. Instant gratification versus hunting for the CD at stores or online is a big reason digital downloads, legal or otherwise, are so popular. #

Workplace instrumentals: the Boston Typewriter Orchestra provides a percussive musical style, combined with a satirical representation of the office rat race. #

Scientists and craftsmen have been trying to replicate the sound of the Stradivarius for centuries, but the attempts have been fair to middling. The newest process turns back to nature: 'infecting' the wood with a fungus, which lightly breaks down the wood's structure, resulting in a lighter, less-dense wood that enrichens the sound in a way that is similar to Stradivari's craftsmanship. #

Newest addition to the Toy Hall Of Fame: the lowly stick. Not some mass-produced, marketed, pink-for-girls-and-blue-for boys StyckTM -- just a run-of-the-mill, picked-up-off-the-ground and bugs-wiped-off stick. It's nice to know that the Toy Hall Of Fame actually understands what toys mean to kids, which most people forget supercedes what numbers or marketers tell us. #

Literary presidents were better presidents, giving greater weight to the hope that Obama, who has authored several well-received books, will return to that writerly president that we haven't seen in many, many years. #

For as efficient as the US Postal Service is, sometimes they just can't deliver some pieces of mail. Those pieces end up in either St Paul or Atlanta, where the USPS makes a last-ditch effort to figure out the sender or recipient. What does the Post Office do with the stuff of value, if it can't go anyplace else? They sell it to the public in open auctions (see the schedule here). As a sign of the times, the USPS has even ventured into the 21st century via eBay, although they haven't got any auctions going currently. Me, I'm interested in purchasing fifty bags of Santa Claus mail, like in Miracle on 34th Street, which an army of postmen will carry into my house and dump on my desk triumphantly. #

Ambigram: a neologism derived of the 'ambi-' prefix and '-gram' suffix, meaning text that can be read even after being flipped or rotated, either having the same definition both directions or representing something entirely different. Kitchen-utensil company OXO chose their brand name due to the ambigrammic quality of those letters, so it would always read properly despite the direction their product was displayed. Another favorite of mine: the SUN Microsystems logo, which is rotationally ambigramous. #

Unattended children will be given espresso and a free puppy. (see also). #

In looking at Fargo in Google Maps, I was intrigued to see that several railroad lines that had been removed years ago still leave a faint thumbprint on the landscape -- you can still see where they lead if you look closely. One such line (not all of it removed) passed through the amusingly-named Buttzville, ND. Many town structures are still there, but the population is next to nothing, and the town doesn't officially exist anymore -- I detect a road-trip next summer! I have a list of ND towns to research who still show up in Google Maps that haven't existed in many years, such as Magnolia, ND. #

Ostracon: a fragment of pottery or masonry with writing (as opposed to a potsherd, which describes any pottery fragment). Pottery fragments have been found at ancient settlements going back thousands of years, but finding ones with writing are a rarer occurence. When ostracons are found it's a big deal, like this 3,000-year-old example of Hebrew, believed to be the oldest in existence. #

Just spreadin' the lovin' around: Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills gave "I Am..." a shout-out recently -- for a weird little website I created over 8 years ago, I'm always pleased when it attracts the right person's attention. Too bad traffic has fallen off so much...but it's still there for those who want it, and it probably will be for some time. #

Buying art at the second-hand store: King David Praying for Solomon, a woodcut print from sometime in the last 20 or 30 years. Found at the Salvation Army in Moorhead; $15 is a lot for us to spend on a single thrift shop item, but D was smitten by it, and I can't see anything wrong with some nicely done amateur fine art. #

Are you a photographer who thinks they're good enough for National Geographic? It's not a quick weekend job, if that's what your thinking. David Griffin, Director of Photography for NG, lays out the editorial process, from start to finish. #

Poisoned foodstuffs from China may still be one of the worst things, but items from India are going to become a close second in fear-causing shortsights. Elevator buttons manufactured in India have been contaminated by the radioactive material cobalt-60, making them detectably radioactive, but not dangerously so. High-rise dwellers may not have to worry that pushing their floor number daily will give them cancer, but the employees in Europe who handled and installed the buttons may have recieved 3 times the recommended dosage of radiation. #

Was the Soviet Union more prepared for its collapse than the U.S.A. is for its impending collapse? In many ways, yes, according to this side-by-side comparison. It also reinforces what I've been saying over the past couple weeks: the flyover states, which still make much of their income from production rather than services and have greater 'community' foundations, will survive far better than cities. #

Need a security camera? Print one out, courtesy of Nude Magazine. #

They recommend leaving no stone unturned when purchasing a new home, but a few stones went untouched until sewer workers started digging around. Under sidewalk pavers at a home in Ann Arbor, MI, workers discovered the evidence of a person's death under each of 60 paving stones. No foul play is expected: the previous homeowner was a tombstone manufacturer, and it seems they decided to get some use out of the blank backs of damaged or unclaimed tombstones. The unmarked back faced up, while "Beloved Wife, Mother Viola T. Bagnasco, 1901-1969" faced into the earth. #

The world's oldest full-body insect fossil has been found -- in a wooded area behind a Massachusetts strip mall. The imprint isn't a corpse-void fossil, but rather the imprint left by an insect that landed on a muddy spot over three hundred million years ago. #

Walking in the footsteps of CNN's useless inside-joke-product-creation process, Fark now lets you buy T-shirts with 'witty' headlines on them, but without the ability to know what the headline refers to. As Fark goes, the more obscure the headline, the funnier it is, so you've got a paradox where the shirts you think are the funniest are the least funniest to the people around you, while the direct headlines remain unfunny. The greatest, most significant t-shirt you can order? T-shirts about me. Sadly, the time 11111001111 was linked at Fark (search for 'Derek') is too old to qualify for a t-shirt. #

Over the past few days the Wifey and I got to play 'professional media' again -- this time at the Plains Art Museum's Trash or Treasure event, wearing our Collector's Quest badges in order to chat with real-life History Detective Wes Cowan, and have him look at some of our crap. #

Jim Stafford is easy to mock for devoting his time to cute, lightly naughty, humorous songs with a southern feel -- and, heck, for just being a product of the seventies -- but he can really, really play a mean guitar. #

On his 15th birthday, George Millitt fell on a scraper while evading being kissed by several girls. He lies in Woodlawn Cemetery, and his tombstone documents his demise. #

Terrifying controversy abounds in numerous states whose voter registration departments are purging "invalid" voters at an enormous -- and apparently illegal -- rate. Welcome to the only state that does not have voter registration, reads the North Dakota Secretary of State informational page on voting registration. The normal requirements (18, no legal impedment to vote, a resident) stand, but you simply have to prove residence for more than 30 days. No rigamarole. No forms. If you bring acceptable proof of residence to the polls you get to vote. Even if the poll operators decline to accept the proof, you can complete the affidavit and continue with your vote. If only more states would take this lead -- the only thing messy registration processes gain is disenfranchisement of voters, and that's a horrible thing. If so much fraud comes before and after, through bureaucratic nonsense, worries about people arriving at the polls fraudulently are rather moot. #

A deer is born in the UK. The deer is so small it can fit in the palm of a person's hand. WIN: Best Week Ever takes this opportunity to go freakin' insane: This deer is so cute I literally want to put him in between two pieces of bread, stick him in a panini machine, and eat the entire thing in 2 bites. HIS LEGS ARE LIKE LITTLE PRETZEL STICKS DIPPED IN POWDERED SUGAR. #

Property values are dropping -- Saginaw, MI sells unclaimed property on eBay, and in this case it was an entire house and lot. High bid: $1.75. The buyer has to pay back taxes and perform yard clean-up, but otherwise it's a great deal. Sadly, the buyer wasn't a family who needs a home (although I doubt the city will let anyone live there until it's fixed up) -- the buyer is a property speculator. #

Banned Book Week is here -- and I've been all a'writin about it. I was a little early with some Steinbeck opposition, I noticed one of the most contested books gets advertised on TV, I talk about what happens when the censors put out their own books, and a huge reading event gets revised because the book of honor was objectionable to some parents. #

Eugenics, the philosophy of selective breeding in humans, wasn't strange enough on its own: it took numerous bizarre and odd tangents. via. #

The rule is that no living person shall be honored with a US postage stamp, but living people do slip through sometimes. To commemorate the 25th anniversary of Mount Rushmore, a stamp was engraved from a photograph by photographer Robert Frankenfeld -- in the lower right hand corner of the stamp is a woman and boy, who were none other than Mrs. Frankenfeld and their 3-year-old son. A few decades later that young boy, Don Frankenfeld, would go on to become a lawyer and a South Dakota state senator. #

Who knew they learned life lessons so young? Corporate failures touch the lives of 5th graders. Verdict: corporations are run with the same intelligence and knowledge as a random jumble of 'tweens. Yay, capitalism! #

The Daily Show and the Colbert Report aren't just one-liners and satirical jibjabs at the world around us -- it contains an immense amount of silent visual puns and graphical humor, created by people who never appear onscreen. PRINT magazine, however, brings these visual artists to the front, and talks to them about their work and how they do it. #

Dinosaurs: lucky bastards. It really fits with evolution, and shouldn't surprise anyone -- the better survivor may look deliberate in hindsight, but when you consider the selection occuring in the environment over a period of time, it looks more and more like luck. Shake a box of paperclips long enough, you'll start to think they naturally come linked in chains and the unlinked ones were 'failures'. #

My favorite Saturday Night Live sketches: Celebrity Jeopardy, transcribed. They always make me laugh. You'll rue the day, Trebek! #

Alaskan governor and V.P. hopeful Sara Palin has claimed international relations experience due to proximity to Russia. Russian Life magazine, however, has uncovered amazing, unbelievable evidence that Palin has single-handedly led small-scale invasions into Russian territory to deliver spies and insurgents, and perform "secret missions." Who knew! #

Clay Venuses (like that from Willendorf) are rare to find; they've found many, many fragments of the figures around the kilns used to bake the shaped-clay fertility figurines of Dolni Vestonice due to explosions while baking. Ceramics experts now believe that the explosion is intentional based on composition and temperature, and possibly reflects an integral part of the ceremony itself. #

The Republicans have converged on St. Paul, and were greeted with a video extolling the virtues of the Twin Cities. They, however, build up MSP by tearing down Fargo. The entire quote is: "It's not the frontier, it's not flyover country and it ain't Fargo." Oh, the group that created the film does their best to explain that they were referring to the movie Fargo...in which Minneapolis and St. Paul both feature significantly. A flub of that sort does make some sense, but, well, it should've been a bit obvious that the actual Fargo might see it as a slight. Still, the Fargo Nice bleeds through in the response from the local tourism center: "If they’re even mentioning us, hot dog! We’ll take it. We’ll make the most of it..." #

Harrison Bergeron may be here soon. While the article is mostly fluff, it does assemble a bunch of relevant bits into one: the medications that pharmaceuticals push, those that "cure" unpleasant social "disorders" are really just removing our uniqueness, forcing a uniformity limited by what drugs are able to do to our brains. Bergeron suffered from excessive talent, which offended the untalented around him. That's not going to happen either, is it? All hail the Handicapper General. #

The Northwest Passage now may exist perennially: the arctic ice has receded to the point where a boat can travel from Greenland to Russia along the Canadian coast, or from Alaska to Norway along the Russian coast, through the quite-large water gap caused by the melting ice cap -- but what makes it remarkable is that the ice cap doesn't touch any of the major continental land masses anymore. (via) #

The current issue of Popular Mechanics features a car-shaped lab beaker. The beaker wasn't digital or drawn, but it was artistically created. PM used a master glassblower from the Corning Museum of Glass to create over a dozen automobile beakers to pick from for the feature article. #

Maple syrup urine disease: a symptom of a genetic disorder that can be the harbinger of greater neurological and physical diseases. Descriptions of the MSUD describe the scent of maple syrup in bodily fluids, but nothing about taste; I suppose the medical research just hasn't gotten that far. This, I learned, from Dr. McNinja. #

10 Underrated Sci-Fi Films: unlike most lists, I agree with all the ones I've seen, and have been interested in seeing the rest. Gattaca & eXistenZ are two great movies that I rarely hear anyone talk about. #

Art themes evolve. Nighthawks was painted by Edward Hopper in 1942, and its noirish look was ubiquitous in the film of the time, and the painting became one of Hopper's most famous. Fast-forward forty years, to 1987 when Gottfried Helnwein painted his pop-art homage Hopper and mid-century film, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, which replaces the nondescript city dwellers of Hopper's painting with Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, James Dean, and Humphrey Bogart. Another decade later, artist Chris Consani was inspired by the grouping of those four actors and started a series of paintings dropping the foursome into various other settings, such as the print that hangs in my employer's executive bathroom, Java Dreams. #

The god of a Greek temple corresponded to the type of environment and soil it was built upon: Demeter on fertile soil, Athena near cities, Posideon on arid land near the sea. This, according to researcher Prof. Greg Retallack, suggests "economic basis for particular cults," which means, "Farmers didn't worship fishing gods, herders don't build temples to farming gods." #

Bones found in the Lichtenstein Cave has been tested, and date back to the Bronze Age, 3000 years ago. However, part of these corpses have survived: two locals have closely-matching Y-chromosome DNA to that sampled from the bones, meaning that the bones found were related to the great-great-great...(repeated 120 times)...great-grandfather of both men. I do take a grain of salt at the scientific rigor of checking a couple hundred people and finding two positives and assuming direct relation, but their assumptions -- that people whose families resided in one area for hundreds of years are likely to date back thousands of years -- is something we non-native Americans can't really grasp. See also: The Cheddar Man. #

A packrat's collection sometimes becomes worthy of a museum: Dr. John Lattimer passed away, leaving his collection to his children. Unlike most packrats, Lattimer's collection had enormous historical content, from records of the Kennedy assassination (being on the investigation team helped) to Nazi artifacts (being in Neuremberg helped) to Napoleon's penis (he paid $3,000 for it in the seventies). The man had a taste for history, and amassed enormous amounts of ephemeral objects. His kids, however, are stuck with paying estate tax on anything that is kept -- and much of which they don't have any documentation of. Seats from Ford's Theatre may have gone to the curb before Lattimer's daughter realized what they were. #

Mentioned in this Cabinet of Wonders post about tiny worlds is the short story Microcosmic God by Theodore Sturgeon. A scan of the story is available in its entirety here. The story about manipulating a tiny world was the inspiration for a Twilight Zone episode, a The Simpsons 'Treehouse of Horror' segment, an episode of the modern The Outer Limits, and an Emmy-award-winning episode of Futurama. Humans love dominance over tiny things; while Sturgeon's story ended positively, our television would rather we believe that it's a good thing Playmobil and Legos can't fight back. #

Add magpies to the list: Dolphins do it, elephants do it, apes can do it, but now we've got a non-mammal, the European magpie, who is able to recognize that a reflection is actually itself. When it comes to brains similar to our own, we can understand the line drawn that separates higher intelligence from others. When we start finding similar patterns in a brain that hails from millions of years prior to mammalian brains, the lines describing what causes intelligence have to be redrawn. #

The dead-zone of slick -- authentic has more appeal when it's raw, style has more appeal when it's flashier, but switch the two (gloss over authenticity with flashiness, overwraught rawness with cool style) and it sucks. #

I know that to most of the country Fargo counts as "the wild, wild west", but being a couple miles from the river and pretty close to downtown, I wouldn't have expected to nearly run over a wild turkey in my driveway. #

Halligan Bar: a specialized, multi-purpose tool for firefighters, designed to rip open, pry apart, or otherwise destroy barriers. Via. #

Ephemera is a funny thing. It's not an object, exactly; it's the likeliness of an object surviving history. Books, paintings, and architecture are designed for long-term appreciation, but things like business cards, concert flyers, love letters, and hand-drawn maps are more fleeting and devoted to a singular, non-collectible purpose that makes them ephemera. Or, rather, more 'ephemera' than other things -- but would a phone book be considered 'ephemera', due to it's regular replacement? Do family photos count? Does writing on the back of a postcard make it ephemera more, or less so? To give ephemera an empirical measure, Marty Weil and John Ptak have developed calculable measure of how 'ephemera' a piece of ephemera is, called, unsurprisingly, the Weil-Ptak Ephemera Scale. Higher numbers are more ephemeral, lower numbers are more permanent. I'd like to see a bit more about how applicable the scale is to real-world problems, but the method for categorizing seems sound and accurate. #

Wifey and I seem to be attracted to the northern climes -- more liberal governments, beautiful outdoors, community support for the arts and intellectuals, and now it appears that Norwegian's similarity to English makes it easy for an American to be bilingual. If only they weren't so close to the Arctic Circle...why couldn't Norway be somewhere in the South Pacific? Oh, for a more tropical bilingual skill, the article recommends Afrikaans, but learning a language spoken mostly in risky African countries doesn't help much to the average traveller. #

A botany instructor brings a visual aid to class, and inadvertently doses himself with its hallucinogenic oils during his lecture. "Crows," I remember thinking, "Are smart birds, and should know all about these sorts of things." #

Those crafty Brits are showing off the funkiest inventions of the past century, such as the fire-suppression grenade, self-pouring teapot, and a 1920s nose-hair trimmers. All I can think of is Homer Simpson's makeup gun, which always makes me chuckle. #

With most animal pests, you can put up a decoy predator and they'll leave; well, until they figure out the decoy is fake, which may take as long as ten minutes in some cases, but they do figure it out. Humans, on the other hand, don't figure out the decoys quite as fast, or, rather, humans react instantly and with great emotion when they think they see a dog in trouble. #

Shahr-e Sukhte, or "Burnt City" in Persian, is a well-preserved ancient metropolitan area in Iran, in which they're discovering all sorts of neat things, like women's prominence and social power, and the world's oldest artificial eye. #

Six years ago, a Packers fan placed an order for a custom Favre jersey, but what they got didn't look quite right. Turns out, the jersey company inadvertently foretold the future by mixing up a Jets jersey with a Packers jersey. The owners of the odd jersey even wore it to Packers games without incident...but with recent Favre's trade, the jersey has been gaining a lot of attention. #

What with metrosexuality being part of the lexicon today, an old word is beginning to see the light of day again: the "dandy" is back. #

National scourge: too many phonebooks. Here in Fargo -- hardly a huge megalopolis -- we got three this year, each from a different company. Opting out? Difficult. Wasted paper? A whole bunch. I'll point at one culprit that the article misses: the businesses that buy ads in multiple Yellow Page phone books. Stick to one, and the winner will come out in the wash; if it weren't profitable to print books nobody wants, it wouldn't be done. #

Remote Predator drone operators experience deep battlefield stress -- even though they're safe in the US. This does spark a little in discussion of violent video games: if physical experience (even knowing you're safe from bodily harm) is minor compared to the emotional experience, what does this say about our immersion in violent videogames and films? Kevin Smith almost gets NC17'ed for a comedy revolving around porn, but PG films include all kinds of death. Yeah, apples to oranges, but the same inadequate comparison is used the other way on a regular basis. #

Early attempts to change the tone without changing rate, which popped up in 2001: A Space Odyssey (via) #

Why do I write "I"? It's not like I need to distinguish from other definitions of "I" -- there's only one -- but few other languages capitalize descriptions of self. There's more to it than meets the I, it seems. #

Need to make yourself more boorish and intellectual? Go to London's "School of Life," a series of classes designed to make you a connoisseur of the finer things in life. #

More news on the Antikythera Mechanism: who knew that a mass of gears and wheels would prove so complex and difficult for a space-faring society to understand? They've narrowed some functions down to predicting eclipses and calculating the frequency of the Olympic Games. #

"I just found it" may work with Mom when a 10-year-old turns up with a five-dollar-bill, but when five million dollars of indeterminate origin suddenly appears and the explanation is, "I dug a hole and there it was," something strange is afoot. #

Women are more likely to regret their tattoos -- I suspect it has more to do with some of the dumb ass-antlers and other emphasis of youthful sexuality that women get tattooed on their bodies. While the tattoo doesn't fade, the desire to advertise that way dims when a lady gets into her thirties, or wants to be treated seriously in the workplace, and the tattoo gives the wrong vibe. Guys willingness to broadcast verility does't seem to fade the same way. In an unrelated note, here's gratuitous Kat Von D images. #

College radio unearths some great stuff -- like this song, which sounds like pre-teen outback rappers (and it is): Mango Pickle Down River (mp3 towards end) is a remix by M.I.A. which I've heard on KNDS. I don't think it's in their 'loop' (the music that plays when there's no DJ in the studio), but I've heard it at least three times while driving around town, and it's so odd and engaging that I had to track it down. #

Don't have deep enough pockets for fine art? Rent it. Just be sure to fill the tank before returning it. #

'Zing-Zong' products: African slang for poorly-made Chinese products: 'They go Zing when they work, and then they quickly go Zong and break.' Quoted in response to China's increasing influence in Africa. Isolationist Americans, please note, in an SAT question format: "mid-20th-century wars with and sanctions against 3rd world countries" is to "Soviet Russian influence and weapons" as "early-21st-century wars with and sanctions against 3rd world countries" is to "Chinese influence and weapons." If we're not helping them benevolently, somebody else will help them malevolently. #

His cunning plan was close to perfect: it included a mechanism to dispose of the suicide weapon afterwards, making it appear as a murder. Unfortunately, he didn't count on the shrubbery. It is sad to see someone go through so much effort to do themselves in -- although the effort, it seems, was to benefit his ill wife. #

People are likely to help if asked -- but much of it is because saying 'no' has a social cost, not because of inherent altruism. I'd wager it has something to do with instant versus delayed profit -- not helping now has a bigger loss than the cost of helping, which won't be seen until the help is complete. Note the social horror when people are obliged to help but didn't due to some social factor (Kitty Genovese is the common reference) -- in the Bystander Effect, nobody helps because one person doesn't help -- the social cost of not helping appears low if nobody is helping, because it is seen as unlikely that anyone would risk the cost of saying 'no'. Caste societies have a negative social response when you do help certain people, thus enforcing the lack of assistance for those people. Too often helping others has a negative social value -- whether perceived (the illusion of loss of home values due to having a black neighbor) or actual (de-slumification moves criminals into your neighborhood) -- the change needed isn't a reward to offset the cost, but to remove that negative cost for helping altogether. So, to avoid a stratified or self-centered society, there must be a social cost for refusal to help, not a reward for helping, and people need to learn to judge their own cost without comparing it to those around them. #

Muphry's Law: If you're going to criticise somebody else's poor proofreading, your comment will, invariably, contain one or more proofreading errors. It is based on Murphy's Law -- "if anything can go wrong, it will" -- but adapted to pertain to the specific act of proofreading. Example. #

You'd think museums are the safest place for items, but it's not always the case -- things end up broken or damaged in museums despite their careful care. Last summer I attended a museum curator's convention as press, and a large part of the seminars were about repair, preservation, and insurance against damage; places like the Walker send curator-guards to make sure the works survive when loaned. Other places, however, let local bars get their patrons drunk then act surprised when people puke and climb on the art. #

What would happen if you had an election and nobody came? Pillsbury, ND found out. Nobody voted -- the voting precinct was a drive into Sibley away, but none of the Pillsbury residents thought it worth the effort. I wouldn't call it a failure of democracy or anything; when you've got small towns like this, where everyone's pretty familiar with each other, the consensus is usually evident without anyone going to the polls. #

The Discovery Channel's "I love the world" commercials (short version, live version) are some of the greatest commercials ever -- it so sells why people like the Discovery Channel, the simple enjoyment of hearing about how and why things are. It's not "I love Mythbusters," it's "I love the cool stuff Mythbusters talks about." (more info) #

Forced perspective defeated in Pisa (via) #

The In-Between Manifesto: in a nutshell, the trip is better than the destination. Focus moves from achieving goals and resolving desires, to the creative or achievement process that leads to the endpoint. #

Diegesis: the action and content of a story's world, separate and independent from the means or methods of telling it. A common crossing of the diegetic line in television these days is to have the background music slowly change to coming from a radio or headphones that the characters interact with. As background music, the characters are unaware of the tune (non-diegetic), but once they are aware of it or can interact with it, it becomes diegetic, a part of the world the story exists in. A very well-done play on crossing diegetic lines is the movie Stranger Than Fiction, where the film begins with narration, but shortly thereafter the main character suddenly realizes he, too, can hear the narration along with the audience. The line further blurs when the character being narrated realizes he can interact with the narrator and hopefully influence her actions. #

If you want to know what happened to that YouTube video that's just reporting 'removed for violation,' you can find out more at YouTomb, a MIT project that tracks video removals from YouTube and documents the video and the conditions of the removal. #

Relativism, rad or retarded? In two parts, best viewed from within Metafilter, which includes brain-melting actual analysis of the arguments. #

What I'd Say To the Martians, by Jack Handey. #

Today marks the start of Pride 2008, Fargo-Moorhead's GBLT fiesta. Minor events occur for the next few days, but Sunday has a pride parade downtown. Don't be an ass that disapproves; communities benefit from everyone's value of self-worth -- making people feel worthwhile is good for everyone. Show your support. #

Praxis effect: When an object of planetary size explodes, it emits a circular 'halo' of debris or glowing energy along an equatorial line. It has little or no basis in science -- "Praxis" was the name of a Klingon moon, which exploded and gave off one such shockwave. Science fiction special effects people thought, "dude, that looked so cool," so it has been used for nearly every huge explosion in outer space since. It appears to be inspired by supernova shock rings, which are actually spherical, but the energy becomes less visible if the viewing angle is less than 90°, much like a sun dog or light in fog. #

Freemasons are gaining in popularity -- reason: the internet. A few years ago Masons saw declining numbers and tried to be more welcoming to new members, being freer with their 'secrets', resulting in a more eclectic, younger mix. I'd also wager that the secular youth of today are interested in the ceremony and fraternity, but without all the ancient moral dogma of modern religion. #

I love language blogs, but this one wins by having a local connection. Jay Ulku is night editor for the Fargo Forum; I've had my issues with the Forum over the years, but this guy does seem to know what he's doing. The blog includes real-world snippets from the news (presumably pre-press, and not found after the fact). It's also fun to guess what news they're related to, aside from the fine-toothed corrections about whether Wi-Fi is hyphenated or not. #

Trees don't have all the fun: humans have growth rings as well. Blaschko's lines are actual lines on the body that have varying degrees of visibility on people; they don't correspond to actual body morphology, but may outline regions of cell growth at the embryonic level, identifying portions of specialization at some early point in development. Skin diseases or chimeras may result in more visible lines, but we all have them in a small way. #

I go out of town for a while, and I miss this? Last weekend, downtown Fargo was overrun by ZOMBIES. Zombie crawls are becoming commonplace, but they tend to lack the human-devouring nature of most zombie attacks and thus there's far less boomstick headshots than most zombie events. (Sidenote: I think I saw Boomstick Headshot open for the B-52s at CBGBs...) No, I'm not the dress-up-and-get-drunk set, but it'd have been fun to take the kids to -- nothing like a little old-fashioned nightmare fuel makes for good parenting! #

Using specious science isn't uncommon for industries that are more interested in making a buck, and the Indoor Tanning Association isn't any different -- trying to say that, despite the rock-solid correlation between skin cancer and sun overexposure, the ITA is saying that the sun prevents cancer and a myriad of other diseases. Cue me saying, "everything in moderation," but I haven't got a lobbyist with deep pockets to spread my message. #

Milgram tested people's response to authority -- whether or not someone would follow orders that clearly caused harm to another human -- in an eye-opening (but deceptive and scientifically specious) way. This gentleman was one of those tested, and talks of the test, authority, the Red Scare, and how the three intertwined in his experience under Milgram's observation. #

When it comes to communism or Fourierism (one of my new favorite philosophies), the whole bourgeoisie/proletariat thing doesn't really register -- it's because the US doesn't have a widespread limiting class-system like elsewhere. This may be why outright communism didn't work so well; it requires 'us vs them' to work, with the 'us' being the larger part of society (the lower class). Here in the USA, we're not constrained by class, so the argument that we need to even the odds is rather moot, until class is referenced regarding discussions of taxes or innate needs (food/housing/fuel). The article above reminds that pure wealth isn't a class distinction, so don't expect cries for a communist government when gas hits $4 a gallon; the general consensus is that everybody's got to do something for themselves about it, which is the opposite from communism. #

Brainwashing and faith ride a blurry line in this snippet from Matt Taibbi's forthcoming book; I remain open to the fact that an outsider-unbeliever's view cannot understand what's actually going on for the dedicated believers, there are some cautionary points about the current state of evangelicism. #

The eyes, it seems, have it: your eyes were the way they were when you were born, and will be pretty much the same (aside from ravages of age) your entire life. Unlike hair and skin, eyes don't regenerate or change through constant growth. #

Although Wikipedia has a list of people who did this entirely without pseudoartistic extravagance, an artist in Germany is creating one of these intentionally. #

Don't spend too much time at sea: you might end up like this guy, with a severe case of poet-scurvy. #

Everyone's heard about how Pixar and their ilk use open-source software to get their work done; the software, however, doesn't get any screen-time for it -- unless they start crediting Linux in movies. #

New Scientist has a list of misconceptions about evolution, from both sides. This couldn't have anything to do with a new, poorly-done, logical-fallacy-laden movie, hmmm? #

I recently posted Salvador Dali outtakes at the Infomercantile -- this blogger saw them and took his own Atomica. #

Why no remaindered quick-links in the last few days? I'm tryin' something new out -- a redesigned Thingsville, where I post stuff I only have a few words to say anything about. It's kinda fun -- usually I spent a half hour or so researching and composing an average post, but at Thingsville I tell myself I have to find a link, say something, post a picture with it, all in as little time as possible, like a minute or two. As a writing exercise, it's fun; I'm a little worried it will take time away from longer-format stuff, but we'll see how it goes. #

Modern graphic design, as embodied by modernistic, retro, and grungy rock concert posters (some mild nudity) #

Creepy, yet fascinating: the gestational cycle of the common teddy bear. #

Kottke has a nice roundup of all the old media that's available for free (or cheap) online -- I loves old magazines for reading, and now you don't even have to scrounge up old copies at rummage sales anymore. #

From the New York Times archives, 1880: What if spiders were as large as sheep? #

Tay Zonday, the 'Chocolate Rain' guy, is proving to be something more than a one-hit-wonder by being eloquent and insightful on what the media is and how it relates to the perjoratives "one hit wonder" and "sellout." (via) #

Resistentialism: the philosophical idea that inanimate objects are inherently hostile towards rational beings. It makes sense: if, thinking, artistic humans are productive and working towards creation, it's only logical to connect the unthinking with the destructive. Like the golem, Frankenstein's Monster, and poorly designed cellphone interfaces, our creations are out to destroy us. Don't trust that Mac...despite the cutesy music and friendly interface, it's gonna bash your freakin' face in. #

Blinded in childhood, posessing a law degree, fighting for what is righteous and just? Could be Daredevil, could be New York governor David Patterson...or they could be the same person! #

An adventurous and trusting person left their camera on a park bench, with instructions...and this happened. Similar to this, which uses postal workers for their art. (via) #

The Ludolphine: at the turn of the 17th century, Ludolph van Ceulen calculated an amazing, magical number, which was named in his honor. The Ludolphine number starts 3.14159...and continues out for a total of 35 decimal places. People who remember 7th grade math (or resort to treppanation to avoid manipulation by hasidic jews) may recognize this number as pi, the ratio of diameter to circumference in a circle. The Ludolphine is not pi -- true pi has endless decimal places -- but is mathematically equivalent. van Ceulen's grave has the Ludophine carved into it, a hundred years before pi was ever used as a name for his famous number. #

Speaking of Caturday, this past Fark Caturday I, as my alter-arch-ego-nemesis Azrael Brown, posted a lame, inane post, which it turns out has the most votes as of 3/17/08. Is are kan be posibl 2 win Caturday? I think can be such, and I am that winner. #

Exotic, but I question the practicality of spoons made from bread; I suppose if they were made of something stiff like prezels, they might have enough body to actually support food on the cup end. They look more fun (see last picture here) than anything. #

Awesome forced-perspective art: the Thing runs through the theater. (via) #

I found this researching something for The Infomercantile: A list of popes who were gettin' some. Popes had sex? Who knew? Well, the one pope whose dad was a pope. Ain't no virgin birth going on there. #

Black dog syndrome: anecdotally, a dog stays at a shelter longer (and, eventually is put down) if it's big and black. I find it suprising, since a black lab is (also anecdotally) the friendlist of dogs, easiest to train, and is good with families. The news article has a good explanation, that may be technology-based: under low interior lights or in a photo, an all-black dog is a dark & indistinct shape, which makes it harder to 'latch on' to some cute-factor, and triggers the general instinctive aversion to bright eyes and glinting teeth embedded in massive, indistinct black voids. (via) #

The world's smallest independent country, Nauru, is in need of help: it has no money. At only 8 square miles, the resource-less country has been relying on Australian input to keep their nation moving, but that's ending, and the 10,000 residents will cease to have paychecks and national benefits. If you've got some lottery winnings to burn and want to become a small nation's benefactor, I'll bet they'll be happy to see you on their doorstep! #

tweetronising: cute, sweet, everything-is-great sentiment designed to get you to buy stuff. A portmanteau of 'twee' and 'patronizing', it's used in hipster-bourgeois-commercials to appear grounded and earthy, without any sort of buddhist lifestyle actually embedded. Those new MacBook Air commercials are the perfect example of such a thing, thanks to Yael Naim's "New Soul"; see also Apple's Nano commercial, the Ford Edge, and this Sprint commercial. #

If you ever wanted to see your geeky life plotted out in humorous detail, see the NYT's flowchart, starting with early-life D&D exposure. It seems to overlap, or at least compliment, Lore's Geek Heirarchy. #

A telemarketer has found how much fun it is to hack caller ID. They've been contacting people at all hours of the night, showing up on caller ID as a call from Tommy Tutone's Jenny. While it might seem ideal for a good time, beware calls from numbers you find on bathroom walls. #

The Instructables website is chock full 'o useful information, such as this entertaning and relevant set of insutrction for how to ship a tiger to Canada. It's not too long, and cute enough to have been a children's book. (via) #

Kosovo has proclaimed independence from Serbia, further fragmenting the former Yugoslavia. Not that it means much, unless other nations acknowledge and respect their sovereignty. In a tactic taken from Stephen Colbert, Kosovo has a 'Who's Recognizing My Existence Now?" website called Kosovo Thanks You! #

Last Thursday, one of my coworkers won a free lunch with James and Cori In The Morning for the entire office from FM 105.1 (formerly "Lite Rock 105," but only old people still call it that). We chatted, everyone told embarrassing stories about themselves and each other, I had a tasty tasty sandwich, and we all got our picture taken. That's me, way in the back on the left, with the scruffy beard and black sweater. #

Yesterday, partly due to age and partly due to being beat down by high Infomercantile traffic, the server hit the canvas hard and the paramedics had to be called to the ring. If I had propped him up and growled like a pissed-off Burgess Meredith, the server probably would have gone on fighting for a couple more rounds. I've had replacement servers burning-in over in my server closet since December, so despite not having completely tested everything I hedged my bets that all would go well by swapping machines. Sadly, the new server hadn't gotten a dose of current content in quite a while, resulting in everyone getting old content for around 8 hours yesterday while I troubleshooted copying 10GB of data to the new server without overwriting anything important. If you came here yesterday and were confused by the late-December content, don't worry: you didn't fall through a wormhole nor entered a groundhog-day loop late in the month. It was the replacing of servers. I'm still working out bugs, so brace yourself, in case you see anything crazy happening. #

If you're not sure what to write on your product's label and you don't have some amazing awe-inspiring description to encourage the purchase, just rephrase the definition of the object, but IN ALL CAPS! In case you didn't know, my blog PROVIDES WORDS TO READ WHEN THE LETTERS ARE ASSEMBLED FROM LEFT TO RIGHT, IN ROWS FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, STOPPING AT SPACES AND PUNCTUATION. If you're not partaking in my blog in this fashion, you're doing it wrong. #

Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books, those maddening yet anticlimatic interactive fiction children's books were huge when I was a kid, but I never quite saw the god's-eye-view of what the book's structure looked like. Well, for that matter, I never even thought of what the god's-eye-view would be (I was eleven, for cryin' out loud), but the nerdy grownup in me wants to know -- and I can find out, for "The Mystery of Chimney Rock," CYOA #5. #

Random Hall, who have named a floor after my daughter Destiny at my behest, has turned 40. The building, originally temporary and not meant to be a formal dorm, has stood the test of time and been an internet darling since before the web. Happy birthday, all! #

Now that you've memorized all eleven planets, just be glad that there aren't as many planets out there as we once thought -- like those listed in this 'hypothetical planet' list. #

This has to be the awesomest foodstuff ever: The Big MacChicken. Step one: Replace the buns of the Big Mac with the chicken patties out of three McChickens. Step Two: Enjoy the heavenly bliss. Step three: vomit out your less-useful internal organs; after eating the genius of a Bic MacChicken, you won't need those parts anymore. Oh, my McDonald's tip: Order a McChicken Combo and an extra McChicken: it's cheaper than any of the predesigned 'combos' on the menu, plus it's more food. #

OK, my name's Derek, and my brother is named Simon -- and imagine my surprise when someone has STOLEN our names and developed the Derek & Simon Show at SuperDeluxe. Ever since Bob Odenkirk slept with my wife, I warned the bastard that he better not screw with me anymore. Now this is war. #

Marmaduke Explained, a serindipitous combination of verisimilitude and absurdity in understanding a bland, unoffensive, and poorly-drawn comic. #

Which is better: keeping a backout path open, or ignoring missed opportunities to move forward? Moving forward is better, but people are more willing to lose and keep missed opportunities available. Online users, when presented with a game that provided a simple winning process that preferred users who progressed. Users, however, would choose to keep their options open than proceed, showing that they'd rather play it safe than risk loss -- despite the more likelihood of a win. #

Can you remember all eleven planets? There's a new mnemonic: My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Palace Elephants. Hrr-whaa? Eleven? Rather than demote Pluto, this mnemonic counts the generally-accepted minor planets, those solar system residents too small for full planethood but with enough gravity to be round: Ceres (in the asteroid belt), Pluto, and Eris (in the Kuiper belt). Bonus points: Lisa Loeb will compose the new mnemonic into a song. #

This is cuter than I thought when reading the headline. you might think someone with a refrigerator full of immobile turtles is some sort of sicko, but in this case it's a proper caretaker, maintaining hibernation in the cheapest, easiest equipment available. #

Proving that our college students are as studious and responsible as everywhere else -- LastVoice has a category just for discussing pictures of Fargo's Greatest Minds...meaning "post hot pictures of drunk gals, make fun of drunk guys, and - dear God - the Goths have no makeup skills these days." This goes to show how lame I was in my youth; every situation photographed is as foreign and unfamiliar as National Geographic photos of aboriginal tribes on some lost island. Nothing's overly NSFW, but if your boss doesn't approve of you looking at bikini babes at your desk, you might wanna come back after dinner. #

Conan O'Brien has been making his wedding ring spin on his desk, as a strangely-mesmerizing way of dealing with the writer's strike. On the 8th, he brought on a MIT scientist Peter Fisher (with help from his students) to see if he can improve his spin-time (go to chapter 2 in this video) -- air resistance was inconsequential, vaseline lubrication failed -- but teflon is da man: 51 seconds. Ah, science: is there nothing you can't do? #

While this toddler's murderous Elmo seems to be a happy accident, you can program Knows You Name Elmo to say fun combinations of his pre-recorded sounds. Just want Elmo to say your name (oh, baby, say my name!) you can try it out at the bottom of this page. Make it a looping ringtone -- "DerekDerekDerekDerekDerekDerek"! (If Elmo isn't your thing, Dora is super-excited to say your name, and creepy-synthesized-bear plans to lull you into a state of relaxation, so the robot coup can begin.) #

Candyland is a simple, reading-free, strategy-free game for young kids, and it's no wonder that the game hasn't been torn apart and analyzed in Probabilty And Game Theory 101 classes -- oh, wait -- someone has, providing all the enormously entertaining mathematical analysis for all to partake. (via) #

I caught The Mountain Fold (not sure if that's the show name, or just the URL) on KNDS this afternoon -- I may have to listen a bit more before I recommend it, but the stuff I heard was brain-unfoldingly excellent. Here's the playlist from today's show -- go play that Tagaq video of the Inuit throat singing. No, really, it's much more fun than it sounds. #

Try and show some of the more abstract parts of American culture to a person living in another country. Now, just explain it, without using any pictures. Now, try it with a reduced-sized dictionary designed for non-English speakers. Think you can do it? Voice of America's Special English programming "American Mosaic" does its best to do it right. #

Want a rocking chair? Build it yourself -- Testor's glue not included. (via) #

While I mostly ignore Cracked Magazine's lists (they're linked all over the place; you don't need my help to find them), I have to give props to their #1 Badass US President -- Teddy Roosevelt. Their articles are usually laden with humorous exaggeration and satirical hyperbole, but Teddy defeated such tomfoolery. He's no fun to do a 'Chuck Norris Facts'-style-list about, because Teddy Roosevelt actually did those things. #

Today we've got a new book released, the first in over 6 months: The hardcover edition of Cheeseburger Brown's Simon of Space. If you're anxious to get it now, we've got it for sale, but if you'd prefer a Barnes & Noble or Amazon discount, it should be available from them very soon (I'm surprised it's not up there yet). #

Probably over the heads of non-sysadmins, but the screenshots at the end are of greatest value: using Linux firewall software, you can screw with computers on the network, flipping images or blurring websites -- and, using that sort of script, you could easily do word-replaces, Dialectizing or ROT-13ing the webpages of anybody stealing your bandwidth (or changing colors, or stripping HTML to plain-text, or...). I like the 'blur' screenshot, though: just noticably subtle enough to make someone think their own computer is screwed up. #

Palimpsest: something wiped clean and reused. The term was usually reserved to describe ancient parchment that was scraped bare to be written upon multiple times. The term goes beyond general recycling: they include the romantic possibility of hidden, lost messages in the faint remainder of the previous image. It happens with paintings, storefronts of all kinds, advertisements, famous voices, and even digital media. Digital media, however, is far more permanent when erasing, so palimpsests may be going the way of a lot of classic media...although, a client I work for regularly loads her plain-paper fax machine with the back-sides of old sales reports: a palimpsest for the modern day. #

Seamless: Computational Couture is where MIT geeks put their technology education into something important -- fashion. OK, most is very theoretical and not practical...but what fashion show has not been entirely theoretical and impractical? The Media Lab's contributions, as you might guess, consist of converting feedback from the user into blinking lights and noise...but it's the Media Lab, what did you expect? Well, I'd expect someplace like the Media Lab to contribute something worthwhile, like helping me pick matching colors when I get dressed, and tell my black slacks from the navy blue ones. Now that would change the world of fashion. The sad thing is, the truly revolutionary things at Seamless would be hard to show in a promo video, like topographically indistinct fashion and mushroom-clothes that help a body decompose. [more] #

Lovecraft fans: Call of Cthulhu, a silent film faithfully adapting Lovecraft's story, will be screened at the Fargo Film Festival. While I do appreciate art-house films, I usually don't jump up and down to attend film festivals; Cthulhu might give me a reason to really try and make it this year. #

What's in a name? When you're getting a car wash, it's so important that they couldn't wait to make a new sign. A 'express' wash for $5? You're lucky if you can get a 'basic' wash for $5 these days. #

via B3ta: a poster touting the technological marvel, the Metroshuttle...which completely misses out on how the technology depicted words. Bonus points: the commenters who don't get it. #

If you've ever sold something on ebay and curse at that one, lonely, super-low bid you got? Imagine being this school -- they placed their old stadium up for sale in a closed-bid auction. The winner? A member of a local football team...a team of kindergarten flag-footballers. The lad's bid was $5, and it was the only bid received. Sadly, the bid was $1,949,995 short of the minimum-bid-price, so the school is rejecting his bid, thus avoiding the horrible positive-press aspect of giving the kid 1 day of ownership or something and going with the "too-bad-kid,-you're-not-a-grown-up" angle. #

Since today is Super Tuesday, chances are many of you get to vote in open primaries today, or are registered to vote in the other states. AIGA put forth a challenge: design posters to get people to vote, without being partisan or recommending action other than voting. Here's what they produced in 2004. #

Ariana's skin puffs up and reddens at the slightest injury. An artist at heart, she knows to use everything her body offers to produce her artwork -- including her own skin. More here. Her website. #

Caturday, over at Fark, is a place where people post either a photo of their cat, or a LolCat version of said cats. I'm rather proud of this one I made for Fark: it puts together the best of bizarre art, subtlety, and poor english:

(original) #

Despite all the crap Vista gets for being over-complicated and user-unfriendly, we here have a shining example -- Microsoft's Help page for opening the freakin' software packaging. If you can't design the box it comes in to be simple enough to operate without instructions, you're doing it wrong. #

In North Korea there is a huge building, looking like a bladed arrowhead sticking out of the back of Earth's skull. It's the Ryugyong Hotel, one of North Korea's misguided attempts to prove it's a 'real' country by putting on a show that it can have cool things like the rich countries do. The building was never completed and is uninhabitable. That is, until the internet got a hold of it, producing a virtual Ryugyong in a Sim-City/2nd-Life sort of way. #

The internet has been abuzz with the horror known as "Cheeseburger in a Can". I was unpressed, figuring until somebody actually gets one and eats it, I won't pass judgement. Well, I've been rewarded. While I'm not ordering them by the case to eat at home, I'd think they'd be fun to take on one of our immense monthly drives to Wisconsin. #

Royalty-free photos are all the rage, now that most anyone can photoshop themselves something and send it off to the printer. Those people that posed for the photos are now appearing everywhere -- like this gal, who's on the cover from everything from Christian to suicide books. Still, it's better than having an obsessed internet-dude after you. Computer companies will vie for your attention. In the end you may just decide to enjoy where you pop up. #

In 1998 -- a time when I had already been online for 6 years, but most people had just gotten their first PC -- futurists were consulted about the level of technology in the far-flung year of 2008. How'd they do? Aces in technology, but poorly in sociology. #

You know, when TV puts an idea in your head, and you have to act on it, the results may be entertaining. This bloke heard on TV that pineapple will remove your fingerprints, allowing for a life of unfingerprintable crime. So, using his research, he tried it...with cringe-inducing results. #

Crowdsourcing is to outsource a project on spec to a group, and pick the best of the submissions or combine the product into a useful singularity. Publishing has been doing it for years, compiling anthologies and magazines by buying only the best dozen out of hundreds of submissions. Crowdsourcing applies this to the rest of the world. Jeff Howe has written a book on it, and he's putting his book where his mouth is: he's opened the cover design to the committee of the unwashed masses. Hurry -- you've still got a few days for submissions if you're feeling creative. If not, the submissions are worth browsing. #

I'm probably installing a new switch and server this weekend, which means I'm going down to The Rack -- my cabling isn't complex, but there's plenty of examples of the good, the bad, and the ugly of rack cabling. #

Fargo is #6 in Men's Health magazine for best cities for men. Woo -- I'm one of those! Women, have hope: Fargo is #10 in Self's list of best cities for women. We're pretty good all around, you see...despite the -20 temperature today, but like I say: the cold keeps out the riff-raff, and that makes Fargo a better place. #

I actually do have Bohemian ancestors - from the region of Europe, that is. They're easy to identify by bloodlines, but moderne bohemians (small 'b') are a bit harder to identify. Thankfully, the Bohemian Manifesto gives classification guidelines to identify these wily creatures in the wild. #

They must be re-running Match Game '75 someplace -- in the past day I've got a few hits for people searching for a particular contestant...which is what I did, too, last year. #

"Got a valet of hares?" "Go fish!" Before modern standardization of playing cards, they were produced in a variety of forms, such as these square cards with round images. As characteristics were adopted, the various forms separated: poker got spades, clubs, diamonds, and hearts -- and tarot cards got cups, swords, wands, and pentacles. Still, that's not all we play with these days. #

Variations on the Death of Trotsky, Variation 2, from a linguist's perspective. Funny play (I saw Trosky performed by TPAS' Dean Bellin during his college days), and as the linguist notes, benefits from those minor flaws in the english language that puns are born from. #

MinnesotaMom, whose alias tells a lot about her blog, is devoting one day a week to write Fargo Fridays. I hope to see it continue: a dilemma of writers is starting big and general, which reduces the pool of things to say at later dates. If she's creative, future Fargo Fridays should become more interesting. #

In 1966, a scientist was given the assignment of coming up with a symbol: one identifying biohazardous materials. You probably know it well, and that's in the design -- it was supposed to be uniquely representable, and pervasively memorable. Today, the etc. Group is sponsoring a contest for a similar symbol: a symbol for nanotechnology hazards. It's reasonable to believe that a day will come when nano-objects, unseen but deadly, will be present in our world. See also. #

If you want to get rich, eat out on the East Coast -- in Florida, and again in New Jersey, people have found pearls in their fried oysters. Jewelry pearls are cultured-for-profit these days because they're so rare in the wild -- but not as rare as food-oyster pearl harvesters assume, it seems. #

For as low-tech as it is, you can still buy 3D cameras. From stereopticons to Viewmasters to the Stereo Realist, 3D has been around a long time, and still looks darn fun. #

Steampunk, or a 19th century envisioning of the future, is a hoot -- here's a bunch of Star Wars re-envisioned in steampunk form. #

Phalanstery - a communal living-space, combined of the words 'phalanx' and 'monastery'. Originally coined by Fourier in his social reform movement, it would be a living space for a phalanx, a labor-organized community like an artist commune or union co-op, where living space and working space were in the same structure. The Roycrofters used phalanstery to mean a central building for use by a community in a social way, such as an inn. In modern terms, it could be the predecessor of the arcology, with similar social-changing aspirations...or, in a more social-damaging way, it's the house in Big Brother. #

It's hard to believe that, in this day and age, there's a place without telephones. Iowa Hill, California, is finally getting landlines. A remote, sparsely populated area, the town has been considered too spendy a prospect to run copper lines all they way out to. Foresthill Telephone Co, with some government help, has decided to wire the town. It's hard to imagine that just twenty years ago, before the proliferation of cellphone use, this town was without any way to communicate with the rest of the world. The national average for lack of phone service ranges around 2%, with 6% in Mississippi. That's a lot of people without access to a phone. #

What's a half-hour of CNN Headline News? Fluff and ads. It's no wonder that those two go together so well. It's rough to blame people's lack of interest in in-depth or depressing news, but that's kinda pushed on us as an excuse by advertisers; "people don't want to watch boring or sad stuff on our channel" equals "we can't get advertisers with our numbers." Fluff gets viewers, so TV news pushes it more, lest they get killed for low ratings. If advertisers would value the smaller numbers of news-seekers and pay more for it, there wouldn't be a problem. On the other hand, long-format, intelligent news takes more time to produce, something a 24-hour news network doesn't have. The internet at least lets you link together a bunch of related quick-form news into a single unit; TV news is there and gone. I'm surprised that there's less talk about the internet killing TV news. #

North Dakota is trying to drum up tourism by associating itself with zombie holocaust. Famous horror novel and movie: I Am Legend. North Dakota tourism slogan: I Am Legendary. Completely different! (via) #

What's up with Four 'I's for the Roman numeral '4' on clocks? Short answer: it's the way it's always been done. (via) #

Jan
5
2008
1 comment
Last night, at around 4:00, I woke up the wifey. She's settled in to a comfortable working schedule: she gets up around 4, before Des gets home from school, handles home duties while I'm at work from 5-9, we spend a couple hours together before I go to bed, and then she works from midnight to 8am, sleeping during Normal Business Hours. It gives her uninterrupted work time, I get uninterrupted work time during the afternoon -- plus we each get to pick out our own music, without any debates or eye-rolling -- and it fits our internal clocks well.

Anyhow, as I was saying, I woke up D around 4.

"...remember the company christmas party is tonight."

"Ghhnnnnrrrrrrrr."

"I've been reminding you of it for the last three days."

Her witty response: "Why did you not tell me this before?"

Wifey, being a freelance writer, has little need to leave the house, and she's become very comfortable in that mode. The grocery store is tolerable, because it's 3 blocks away, and the thrift shops are never a bad destination. However, anything else is a bit much for her.

The party wasn't to start until 6:30, and the fashionably late probably won't be until 7:30, so I had a couple hours to let D get into the mode of being around other people.

"Where's it again?" she asked.

"The HoDo."

"You know I don't have anything to wear there."

This is a running joke: When we talk about going out together on those rare child-free weekends, the HoDo is brought up. It's a hipster sort of barestaurant, a place where martinis are expensive, the food is unusual and scary, and they sometimes have valet parking in Fargo ND even though there's rarely a problem parking within a half-block of the building. To eat at such a fancy place, we'd have to get all fancied up...and, sadly, we don't have fancy-upping clothes -- not fancy enough for the HoDo, anyway. So we pick someplace less martini-and-mystery-canapes. The company party, however, is at the HoDo, and we can't pick anyplace else to go.

My first choice in fancying-up is a vintage 1970s blue paisley shirt, with an oversized collar and somebody else's initials monogrammed on the pocket. No, really, it's a kick ass shirt. Unfortunately, it was always a little curve-hugging on me, but my waist has gone up 4" in the past 5 years, and now the curve-hugging is kinda scary.

I end up wearing a monochromatic black ensemble, matching the wife. What made the matching ensembles most stylish was the vast amount of pet-hair attracted to the staticy fabrics. We hoped the lighting at the party would be dim.

And, happily, it was. Even though it was closer to 7 when we arrived, there were very few people there. So, we got drinks and sat in the corner. Sure, you can take the antisocial recluses out of the home-office, but they're still going to act creepy in public. While I won't recount the entire evening, I can tell you this:

Things Learned at the Company Christmas Party

1. Everyone thinks I'm some sort of genius. The boss' wife said how smart she heard I am, and everyone wanted to be my partner in Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader. Problem: I speak with authority, not facts. Sure, I'm right most of the time, but that's dumb luck. Wifey, upon reading this, will tell me to print it out and bring it to my psychiatrist. Still, I'm no genius.

2. When I'm not at work, rumours about my freelance work are bandied about. See, my connection to adult websites caused a rumour that I was a porn star. Seriously. That rumour has been partially continued, despite the mounting evidence against it, because the people I supervise love talking about the possibility of me being a porn star. Can't say I disapprove, because any compliment of my verility is kinda nice...but they're so secretive about it. I overheard that there's quite a bit said about me that will not be repeated in my presence. That worries me. Worries and pleases. But mostly worries.

3. One woman's underwear was not newly purchased. She was showing off the new ensemble she purchased for the party, pointing out how each piece was new. One person asked if her underwear was also new; it was not, so that was then clarified each time the story was repeated, to everyone's amusement.

4. The salmon may or may not have been raw, but it was tasty. I feel the microscopic parasites coursing through my veins as we speak. It was so tasty, I had seconds. I did enjoy the HoDo's food, although many people were fearful of the unfamiliar.

5. The coworker who was loudest about her New Year's Resolution has already broken it. She resolved to quit smoking, but was out on the sidewalk with a cigarette in hand last night. Naughty, naughty! I'd make a joke about spanking, but that'd be included in the events of #2 above.

6. Downtown is exotic to people. I'm not sure what to think about it -- for my dislike of what the downtown revitalization has done, I found myself recommending a lot of shops to my coworkers who say they rarely come downtown. The HoDo is in the center of downtown, but while I walk past it throughout the year I sat and talked with people who haven't even come downtown in years. This is an obstacle for downtown, similar to what I've said before. The downtown I love and live on the edge of was designed for downtown residents; it's going away, in favor of catering to non-downtown-residents. Those people, however, don't come downtown, but the downtown-residents are still here. There's the poor planning in the mix. Still, I hope I encouraged a couple people to patronize downtown, because the few stores I like (Revolver, Zandbroz, the antique shop in the Aggie Block) can use the traffic.

7. "Go West Young Man" was a quote from Horace Greely. This was my team's million dollar question to win the company game of Who's Smarter than a Fifth Grader. My guess, I can't remember what it was right now, was incorrect. My fellow team-members thought it was either B or C; I thought A, and per #1, above, the team sided with me. Greely was C.

8. Who's Smarter than a Fifth Grader isn't factual. In an earlier question, we were asked which was closer to the southern border of the United States: New Zealand, the South Pole, or the North Pole. Hawaii and New Zealand are closer (4,385mi) than Key West is from the North Pole (4,519mi, based on latitude), so New Zealand was our guess. No, they ignored Hawaii, and the "correct" answer was the North Pole. Also, in our losing question, the quote "Go west young man, and grow with the country" was not said by Greeley: it was said by John B. L. Soule, who was not listed as an option in the question. Not that it would have helped me, but it shows what they're teaching kids these days. I was also prepared to say that 'donner' is not the german word for thunder: I thought it was 'donder', but that's dutch. Sorry, Are...Fifth Grader, you win that round. And, yes, I do understand that actually researching the two measly questions we got wrong in Fifth Grader makes me a sad, bitter individual. That's my most attractive feature, you know.

I was hoping for 10 things learned, but I'd had 3 vodka & sours, which is a lot of drinkin' for me in 4 hours even with a meal in there, so we went home early. The party was fun, I can blame my poor performance in gradeschool facts on too much vodka, and I got to show off my wifey to my coworkers. A good night, had by all.

Remember DB Cooper? The only unsolved US hijacking, the guy jumped out of a plane in the Pacific Northwest, $20,000 cash in hand, and disappeared. Some of the money turned up -- and the finder is auctioning some of it off. After some time exposed to the elements, much of the cash cache was decomposed and crumbling, but he's offering a few partials and a few completes of the $20 bills he found with matching serial numbers to the DB Cooper stash. #

*sigh* Yet again, I'm not on Time's Top 50 Websites of 2007 list. I have to say this has to be the most underwhelmed I've been at the top 50 list -- nearly all, even in the 'news & information' category, provide services, not content. Is this a change in the internet's purpose, or a geeky attraction to new and shiny technologies? I think more of the latter. #

In a few short months, analog TV will be gone -- the Department of Commerce can tell you all about it. Don't worry though -- it won't affect people who get cable TV, people who have bought a TV in the past year, or people who get their TV via satellite. Who does that leave? The rural and the poor are a big chunk, but around a third of TV viewers still use antennas, meaning there's a big chunk of the population that doesn't spend money on TV, but will have to. Oh, there's the coupon program, but that doesn't equal free unless the qualifying converter miraculously costs less than the coupon, you can only buy qualifying converters with it, and there's a bunch of catches in using the coupon. Will it be better? Some think so, other predict chaos. #

I've spent hours over at Collector's Quest scanning and uploading photos from several 1960s Tournament of Roses parades -- go have a look. Never has a clown crotch been more flowery. #

Benday dots are what you get when you put your nose right up against a magazine or newspaper photo -- it's a printing process to make all the colors out of the 4-color CMYK spectrum, or create gradients in black-and-white, by converting the variances in color and brightness into an array of dots. Also known as dithering or screening, the benday process was invented in the 19th century and has worked out well since; your inkjet printer probably uses a variant. Roy Lichtenstein loved 'em, and made a name for himself out of exaggerating existing ones. Why "benday"? Well, ask Ben Day -- he's the inventor. #

Trouser mice: a euphemism for the male genitals. And when I say 'genitals', I do mean plural -- 'trouser mouse' is the singular and more common phrase. Spammers, not known for their grasp of the english language, have been offering the terrifying prospect of enlarging all of my penises, no matter how many I have lying around. I guess, if they're that small as to need enlarging, I might not even notice that they're all there. At least I can get a little entertainment out of the inbox annoyance. #

Trollwood Performing Arts School has announced the 2008 mainstage musical -- on the mailing list, anyways; the website is stuck at 2006 or 2007, depending on which page you're looking at. However, I can help y'all out -- 2008's Trollwood Mainstage Show will be Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Trollwood performed Joseph in 1994, and they say it's their most-requested revival. Sadly, it will be the last show performed at Trollwood Park -- in 2009, TPAS moves across the river to Minnesota. #

In 1891, Theodore Schwennesen circumnavigated the world, a trip of a global scale -- which included passing through Fargo at one point:

Now to Morehead and Fargo with 12,000 people on the Dakota border. Here everything is bare, hilly land. Buildings look lost and lonesome, no trees, just hills and valleys interrupted by some rocks...

Upon crossing into "Dakota", as he calls it, his description of the rest of the state isn't too much different from today, although there's more of us around now. Remember: this was only 70-80 years after Lewis and Clark, and only 15 years after Little Big Horn, and indian attacks were still on people's minds. Most of the cities he mentions were only a few years old, and the rest is still wilderness, save the lonely railroad tracks Schwennesen was on. Interestingly, the 'fort' he reports seeing in Hebron was most likely Fort Sauerkraut, a makeshift defense against indian attack during The Indian Scare of 1890; due to the, er, "success" at Wounded Knee, Fort Sauerkraut was no longer needed by the time of Schwennesen's trip. #

I haven't seen a more awesome thing yet today: Mondospider. The mechanics in it seems rather simple -- it's not exactly spiderlike, except in approximate shape -- but it performs its purpose beautifully. Do I want one? Oh, but yes I do. #

Be careful when using pseudomathematics to describe your business -- the transitive property is a harsh mistress. #

A while back I wrote about how to build your own Winky the Cat. The original is a stuffed cat, wired to your brake lights, and its eyes match your blinkers. Scary stuff -- but it was a real thing, advertised in auro parts catalogs. Don't believe me? Ask Destiny. We actually saw a REAL one, in the wild, on the rear window shelf of a boat of a car a few days ago. The fact that it was in the Wal-Mart parking lot was not an anomaly. #

Scott Brown of Fine Books and Collections magazine (one of my favs), has crossed that line so many book collectors toe up to: he, his wife, and some friends have bought a bookstore. Bully to them; it'll probably be a lot of hard work, but if they've got their head on straight and love what they do, success will be theirs, regardless of sales. #

Henry Rollins, star of Johnny Mnemonic and the best screamer in the universe, is coming to Fargo next March. With a name like "Henry", you don't expect to much...until you see the guy. Doing a GIS for him gets so many intensely angry photos of Rollins that I peed myself twice. Well, you'd be intense too, if you had your best friend killed in front of you. Still, every interview I've seen with Rollins shows he's bright and three-dimensional as a person, and I've got a lot of respect for that. #

Flom is a microscopic town in west-central/northwest-central Minnesota, in the Ulen-Twin-Valley area. Beet farmers in the area know my dad as one of the agriculturalists for Crystal Sugar; Flom is one of the areas we usually hear about, just because the town's name is so much fun to say. For being a little unincorporated community, Flom has a presence on the internet -- first of all, they've got their own community website. Nextly, they have their own blog: Flom Footnotes. The focus of both sites is largely geneology and history -- and, hey, whaddayaknow: I've got relatives on their biography list! Violet is my great-aunt; her husband is Dennis, mayor of Twin Valley. #

Those of you may think my interest in insurance history is a unique and insane obsession, and then I find this guy: The American Term Life Insurance History Project. Too bad most of the content is wrapped in "buy my insurance!" stuff, but I suppose websites have to pay the bills somehow (hint). The TLIHP has some excellent archives of old documents, small so far but it appears it is going to continue to grow with more paper. I loves the old documents. #

I was recently asked for permission to reprint a blogpost I'd written a while back -- that site is The Liz Library, a site devoted to women's law, children's legal issues, custody & divorce, and all sorts of very personal, nebulous, and subjective legal issues that affect everybody's lives at some point. Of course, I agree with a large chunk of the stuff on her site, even though it doesn't always benefit dads; however, solving the wrongs done to kids and families due to selfishness and cruelty is good for society. My article appears here. #

dysgenics: negative natural selection caused by outside, non-Darwinian forces, favoring weaker and less desirable genes in the pool. Originally coined as a description of the genetic effect of war, in which the healthiest and strongest are tagged for death while 4Fs remain available for breeding. Largely used as the opposite of (and justification for) eugenics, it has been brought into the public eye with the movie Idiocracy: society crumbles because giving birth is seen as a poor decision, so those predisposed to poor decisions are the only that breed. #

What do you do when you have so much spare cash around that average Christmas gifts (e.i. humorous boxer shorts, "Special Edition" DVDs of 1980s movies) would seem insulting to your loved ones? Buy a concert -- for a cool million-and-a-half. Invite 499 of your friends (that's 500 total, not one more person over. Sorry, Shelly from the gas station, I'm out of tickets), get to rub shoulders with Regis Philbin -- and that's gotta be worth $1,500,000 on it's own, you know -- and not only do you take in a top-notch performance, but you get to keep the piano. Rich people apparently find it insulting that performers take the piano with them after they're done performing -- it's like the caterer getting to keep the leftover pigs-in-a-blanket after the party, how rude! If you're doing the math, take out $80,000 for the Steinway, and you're still spending $3,020 a head. What they don't tell you is that you can hire most orchestras and rent a concert hall for significantly less the Niemann-Marcus price, bring a thousand friends (Shelly, you're back in!), and still get to keep the piano. Regis Philbin, well, he must be the spendiest part. #

KNDS, an excellent hodge-podge LPFM format station in town, is a must-listen from 8am to 9am on Tuesdays. In that timeslot is Bluegrass In The Valley, a listenable and entertaining show focusing on that fun branch of the folk-country-western tree. I've always had a taste for bluegrass; the content of country music annoys me to no end, but bluegrass is folksy enough to be enjoyable. #

Defictionalization: When a object or product of fiction becomes real -- not scifi generalized predictions like robots or satellites, nor the naming of something as homage, but something more like Bubba Gump Shrimp and red Swinglines. It seems to largely be a convention of marketing: fiction has long been the realm of speculative invention, so while initially seeming like a term for literature, defictionalization more likely to work its way into marketer's vocabuaries. "Did you see what the propmaster came up with for that 22nd century soda can? Let's talk to Pepsi about defictionalizing that ASAP, coordinate with the film's release." #

I only have a vague understanding of the Planet of the Apes series -- even though I believe I've seen the first 3 movies multiple times -- but with the TV series, the comics, and so forth, I'm a bit behind. Thankfully, there's an all-encompassing timeline, including crazy and self-contradictory stuff (that's the best stuff!) so I can catch up on my Planet of the Apes universe at my own pace. #

Ever wondered what's up with the gypsies? Girl in the North Country can fill you in. As far as nomadic-cum-interstitial societies go, the Romani are an oft-overlooked one, since its range so overlaps that of what we'd consider civilized world. An interesting statistic: Of the Bosnian refugees that have been in Fargo for several years, the majority are Roma. #

In 1936 a famous photo was disseminated, highlighting the drought during the depression by showing a sun-bleached cow skull resting on cracked, dry earth. However, some sharp-eyed newspapermen at the Fargo Forum noticed that the same skull appeared in some not-so-arid photos taken by the same photographer around the same time. The Forum cried foul -- the skull had been moved, to provide a more powerful photo. The photographer argued the common defense: it may not be what was happening, but it shows what was actually happening. Rothstein wasn't particularly affected by the revelation, photographing some of the more famous photos of the Dust Bowl (which, it seems, was also staged), but the FSA drew criticism that if they had to fake all their photos, they must be faking the rest of their work. The Forum warned Roosevelt, who was visiting the state at the time, not to trust such faked photos; North Dakota wanted to let the president know that we're doing just fine here, thanks. Turns out, Rothstein was with Roosevelt at the time. As the Time article above notes, the Forum had a field-day with faked photos, it seems: one claimed the Missouri River was bone dry (not true), and another claimed cattle were overrunning the State Capitol (only true on Stampede Saturdays). Oh, OK, that last one was completely false: it'd have been pretty tough for a herd of cattle to get all the way to the capitol grounds, even back in the 1930s, but someone had a photo to prove it, so it must've been true. #

The phrase, "I've got more problems than Carter has pills" was the subject of debate at work: two had heard it before, the others had no idea what a peanut-farming president had to do with it. Turns out, a different, non-presidential Carter really did have lots of little pills -- specifically, little liver pills. A 'patent medicine' purveyor, Carter walked the snake-oil line alongside Kellogg during that poop-centered era of medical history, ending up producing a pill that actually seems to have worked. Years passed, 'liver' was dropped because, well, the pill had little to do with livers, but it continued to be used. Carter's expanded into Carter-Wallace, eventually becoming known for other products: Arrid antipersperant, Trojan condoms, and Nair. You can still get Carter's Little Pills, (a brand revival attempt?) but only in Canada it seems. Unfortunately, Carter isn't in change anymore: the company is now owned by Church & Dwight, aka Arm & Hammer. Having "more problems than Church & Dwight has pharmaceutical company acquisitions" just doesn't have the same ring. #

The number "104.7" must be the kiss of death: that station here in Fargo has made yet another change in format. Mix 104.7, formerly The Wolf 104.7, formerly KDAM 104.7, temporarily EdFM, and along with other stunting and probably other formats in between I missed, is changing format yet again -- to a quasi-oldies 70s and 80s station called Mojo 104. My guess is 104.7 is a testbed for programming on their other stations -- why else would a broadcasting company do something so stupid as to change formats every year or so? Advertisers and listeners want predictability. #

I've been to the Mall of America once, only to pick someone up; the distance I entered the mall was barely a smidgen of its actual volume. I really have no interest in going -- I've been to malls before, and I'm not much of a mall-shopper. Neither is this guy, it seems, who spent a week in the mall. All goes pretty well, before he starts to go all HST on a mall bar's ass. The article does take the "Fear and Loathing" thing a bit too far, but it remains entertaining throughout. Important note: you can sleep in the aquarium. Maybe I will have to go to the mall after all. #

Currency is a fickle thing in today's electronic age: we're all accustomed to moving cash with clicks and plastic, but if there's not an electronic version, what do you do? Return to the world of transporting suitcases of cash -- something Dartmouth Capital (parent of SafeDinar.com) does on a regular basis. Because the Iraqi Dinar isn't exchanged on the world markets, the only way to do business in dinar is to move the paper around. The premise is something right out of a spy flick, exchanges made in seedy hotel lounges with questionable contacts, covering tracks, and looking over the shoulder. As cash is untrackable, this sort of dealing does attract the wrong sort: North Korea has done their own smuggling, as well as Hamas; the exchange process is also ripe for money laundering. The process itself is somewhat illegal -- smuggling cash out of a country is frowned on by their treasury -- even though can be necessary for expanding international commerce. Without nefarious purposes, the transport of huge amounts of cash internationally can land you in jail anyway. #

Those Futurama guys pull references from all kinds of obscure corners -- I was looking for old scifi covers, and ran across this one. My first reaction was that it must be some marketing thing for Futurama, despicting a stylized Bender-like robot, but it turns out that this cover was largely the inspiration for the character of Bender. #

If you're like me and still use an SLR film camera, the textured faux-leather parts are probably getting a bit ratty. No worries -- just replace them. The company, cameraleather.com, has pre-cut leather replacement panels for a huge number of cameras, in a wide variety of styles. Since the film camera is becoming a relic of the past, why not restore yours with a little style? It's like the fresh leather upholstery in a restored classic car -- it might not be in the style of the original, but it sure looks better than what it looked like before. #

Rather than writing anything myself, I'll point y'all over to Metafilter, who has a link-filled post on one of the bigger historical events of the 20th century here in North Dakota. You know, if I knew that announcing a big 'ol party in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota and people would actually come, I might try it again. However, with the Zip to Zap as an example of how it can go horribly, horribly wrong, well, I guess I'll give it some more thought. Still, if it's still on the fuzzy edges of society's memory (as is most everything revived on Metafilter), it can't have been that big of a failure. #

If you've bought a Ford recently, you might want to look into this: All Model Ts are being recalled. It's a novel way of letting everyone know that the last remaining examples of this pioneer of the automobile industry are reaching their 100th birthday, and the Model T Ford Club of America would like to meet them. Next July, Model Ts are invited to Indiana to celebrate their birthday, at which time we'll all remember that in September 1908 the automobile finally became within the reach of the average citizen, who would spend a few years figuring out where to park the thing out of the rain. A century seems vast, but on the scale of things it's barely a blip -- to go from this ramshackle car to THIS in half that time...and what have we done with cars since then? Heated butt-warmers, that's what. If you'd rather feel more 'motor city' in your celebration, Michigan (home of the Model T Automotive Heritage Compex), has got one, too. #

Looking for a career worthy of being an eccentric but lovable character on Numb3rs? Try Accident Reconstructionist -- those guys who know automobile accidents inside and out, and can review an accident like rewinding a videotape; forensics meets the junkyard. Insurance companies and lawyers have their own, but most police departments have one or can borrow one from nearby. You can even hire one yourself, if you need one. If you think you can do it, they've got an association, cool videogames, and even templates! I loves the templates. #

The 2007 Art Burn was tonight. The Fargo-Moorhead Visual Artists have an annual Art Burn to allow artists the ability to ceremonially destroy art they no longer wish to exist, rather than sending it to the dump or giving it away; it allows the art to retain its symbolic value, even though it no longer physically exists. More will appear on Collector's Quest Monday morning. #

Most of the non-relevant search-engine hits in my referrer logs are either naughty or spammy, but this one just had to make me smile: someone's trying to find clothes that fit a great dane. I hope they found what they're looking for...and share pictures. #

Mithridatization: Whether you're the Dread Pirate Roberts or Mithridates VI Eupator (who lends his name to the process), mithridatization is the process of slowly poisoning yourself to make yourself immune to a deadly substance. It takes, of course, a great amount of patience -- not something to try and speed up by doubling the dose -- and the process could go wrong in so, so many ways, thus the average person might not want to start a regimen of arsenic Eggos in the morning just yet. If you're the kind of person who risks being poisoned on a daily basis, however, it may be worth the time. #

Journalist Scott Libin pulled out some lacquer transcription archives of his father, a radioman from years ago, and found a way to turn these recordings into something he could put online. I've looked Crosley machines before, and figured they were low-end novelty equipment; Libin actually produced pretty good copies given the quality of the original -- listen to an interview by Libin's father, at a barbershop. #

In the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Rascals," a Starfleet-approved periodic table was shown. Of course, when Table Of Elements 99823 is magnified using our 21st century technology, it can be seen to be full of jokes. Me, I'm waiting on an order for a bicycle chain made of an alloy of Daffyduckium and Turbonium...my bike would be so cool that Darmok would "jalad the tanagra," if you know what I mean. #

Someone has taken the time and craftsmanship to turn a laptop into fine furniture. People used to mock the 32" 1970s console TV I owned -- complete with wood spindles and faux-drawers -- but now wrapping technology in wood and metal fittings is called "steampunk." *sigh* We need more electronics designed as fine furniture, instead of ungainly pseudo-futuristic shapes that don't fit anyplace. #

3D printers, a staple of scifi, have actually been around a while -- I've been picking up their samples at tradeshows for at least 5 or 6 years, and at the Mountain-Plains Museum convention I got a cool fabricated arrowhead from Prairie Fire 3D that I play with like a worry-stone at my desk. The open-source world, of course, jumps on the coolest stuff and relies on the wisdom of crowds to come up with 3D printing for the masses. Fab@Home is the place for learning how to make your own fabricator, with which you can take your favorite squirtable medium and start building. #

Scientists have used nanotechnology to produce the world's smallest radio. Little more than a resonant hair, the momofilament carbon tube turns radio energy into mechanical energy, which is then turned into an electronic signal -- acting much more like a taut string between two soupcans than a radio receiver. Well, but much cooler, and I've never actually gotten a taut string to work the way the Boy Scout Handbook says it should. These guys got their hair to play Layla, and that rocks. Bonus trivia: Largo from the opera Xerxes was the first music broadcast by radio. #

Nov
1
2007
1 comment
The sign has been on the wall at work for weeks, warning us that we would be painting bowls. Bowl-painting? Eh, could be fun, but I usually leave in the morning before anything fun happens, so I didn't count on participating.

Today, I had to stay late to make up for hours lost this evening. Then, I heard there's be pizza for the bowl-painters, and we didn't have to punch out.

That pretty much sealed it. I'd be a bowl-painter.

So, I was given a plain, bisque bowl and chose several colors of paint: brown, blue, purple, white, black. I was going to paint something scenic; I don't think I'm a great painter, but it's just a bowl. I've learned enough by studing Pletan's works, I figured I could pull it off.

Surprisingly, everyone had much the same feeling as me: their bowl was to be perfect, yet after the first few minutes of spreading paint, perfection was clearly not going to happen. I, too, despite compliments from my coworkers, felt my art sucked. The paint was drying too quickly and couldn't be worked very well. I was leaving spots where spots should not be. I didn't count on how painting on the obtuse curve of a bowl would affect my ham-handed attempt at a mountain-bordered horizon. My art was amateurish at best.

Who'd think that a bunch of people working in a detail-oriented would be picky about their art? Go figure.

Oh, well, I told myself: I can think I'm doing crap, but what of it? Artistically, some of the Fargo bison weren't all that great, but they got called 'art'. In my best managerial voice, I complimented my coworkers and employees, pointing out what I thought was cool about theirs. I allowed myself to paint a symmetric ring of pine trees, where symmetry doesn't really exist in nature. It's a freaking bowl -- what does anybody expect?

So, I finished my bowl, ate my pizza, and then checked out everybody elses work with a dash of positive reinforcement and a reminder it's all for charity. The March of Dimes in the area is hosting Bowls for Babies on December 5th. They've asked a bunch of contributors to try their hand at fine art, decorating nearly a thousand bowls. Donors will attend the soup banquet on the Dec 5th, with the first 900 being given one of these painted bowls to keep. Helping babies and free art? That's an event! Keep an eye out for my bowl:

Just as MST3K has announced an abbreviated return, Joel and a big chunk of the other MST3K alumni have announced their own movie-riffing online program called Cinematic Titanic. While I'm looking forward to both, I hope that this is friendly competition between the two camps; if either side starts getting ugly over their competition, then it stops being fun to watch. #

I've been reading this blog for a few weeks, and find it very interesting: Media Chatter, a blog that collects the opinions of students taking Communications 101 from Dr. James Duncan at Anderson University. The course covers, according to his website, the role and function of mass media in our society, and at how social, economic and political forces shape the media and its messages -- and then turns around and redirects the effects that media has on the students back on the media by expressing it online. The writing is what you'd expect from kids with a high-school education, but shows that they're processing what they're learning, and the variety of responses is quite readable. #

How to tie a rope cincture: whether you're going as a monk for Halloween, or just having trouble dressing yourself at seminary (mom always used to tie my cincture for me), these instructions are handy. Found amongst other important instructions at CM Almy, alberdasher to the holy. #

Starting next week, Mystery Science Theater 3000 will return with new content. The messageboard linked seems to range from "cool" to "OMGWTF!" There don't seem to be any of the main onscreen talent returning (they've all mostly moved on to bigger and better things), which will definitely have an impact on the environment, but if they're smart I'm sure they can come up with something interesting. The site will, as of Nov 5 '07, be at MST3K.com. #

Seasteading is to build floating human habitats on the open ocean. There's various ways to do it, but the people at seastead.org have come up with a very adventurous design for a floating home. It appears to be what you get when you take a boat design, remove all motion advantages, and replace them with buoyancy advantages. Much to the chagrin of the libertarians, who aren't going to find utopia at sea, anything that floats is essentially a boat and devoid of any real national identity (and unless they fly a nation's flag may be considered pirates). There's a reason the highest mountains, furthest deserts, and coldest glaciers were conquered before the seas were...oceans are inhospitable to non-swimming creatures. #

Antiques on Broadway, the antique mall D and I used to sell in, is branching out into fine art. The Listed Art Gallery focuses on established artists that have been noted in art catalogs -- which should mean they've got good stuff, as opposed to the newer, more abstract artists that dominate the rest of Broadway's art galleries. I think. Their website is hard to navigate, the images are saved at full-size which affects download speed, their text is jumbled and unclear; I hope they didn't spend any money on the website, because it's only going to confuse and distract potential customers, it'll be a detriment. Except for creating a place to link to, which is more than they had before (even though I tried to talk Arnie into a website years ago; but that's old news). Skip the website, go to the store, by the caboose near Main Avenue and Broadway. #

Via my sis' blog: art that's not art by its existence, but by its interference with photons. #

Proof of Purchase is a neat take on the same spur as the Receipt Site (which, incidentally, wasn't about receipts). Anyways, back to Proof of Purchase: A diligent consumer comments on his own receipts, posting them as a foundish documentation of his life. Had it just been purchases, ho hum -- but the comments make it something more. #

CAT FOUND! Not very friendly or housebroken for a cat -- unfortunately, from the picture, it's obviously an opossum. Could someone be so obliviously stupid, or is it somebody having fun? When you consider that the 'possum pic in the LOST sign is a Wikicommons photo of "AwesomePossum", you can probably assume it's a joke. Still, it's funny to imagine the altrustic household's fun after bringing in such a creature in need. (via) #

Googie architecture: an attempt to make people believe George Jetson has moved in. Originating in the pre-interstate, post-Sputnik world, the future-looking style seems both dated and futuristic by modern standards, recalling the pie-in-the-sky future of flying cars and space-travel, but also the world that eventually crumbled during the social upheval of the 1960s and financial doldrums of the 1970s and 1980s. There's still a lot of the stuff around, although its slowly falling apart and being torn down & replaced with modernism. #


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